so much
[locked/private]
This is me trying to put it all together. I think the last few days have made me so confused I don’t know which way is up anymore. It doesn’t help I’ve had a massive hangover for one of the days, but that’s no one’s fault but my own, so I guess I can’t complain.
1. Jean-Paul had a baby. Two babies. Neither of them were his, and I’ve lost track of where they are. Apparently it has something to do with Wanda. I’m so confused and I’m afraid to ask for details because:
- A. I don’t really want to know.
- B. I’m afraid if I get involved, some magical different universe baby will show up on Jean-Paul’s lap and he’ll have a freak out and I’ll wind up with a baby. I don’t want a baby right now.
- C. He might not mind so much if the baby was a redhead though. Now that I’m not with Fred my chances of an army of ginger kids has certainly dropped.
Aaaand I’m double checking that this thing is set to private. I don’t want Wanda thinking I want an army of redheaded children.
2. I’ve been alternating between going to AA and going to bars. That is SO not healthy. I feel like AA is my new confession. Except I don’t say anything when I go. I just sit there and listen to other people talk about how they’ve screwed their lives up and say to myself “I can’t wind up like that. I’m done going out drinking” and then I do it again a few days later.
- A. I need to stop getting into fights. I was at a club (more a music club than a real dance club. I don’t dance) and I got in a fight with a guy and the bouncer had to escort me out. The bastard tried to grope me and blame it on the fact that I was struggling. So I hit him too. I am really lucky he didn’t press charges. But I don’t think it’s very macho and bouncer-y to press charges on a 130 pound girl for hitting you. But I did hit him hard. And he deserved it.
- B. There’s a regular at one of the bars, his name is Ted, who’s started to get to know me. He doesn’t know my name, so he calls me Red, which makes me think of Jean and Logan. He seems nice. He tells the bartender when I’ve had enough and then buys me a cup of coffee, which sometimes I think is sweet and sometimes pisses me off. Depends on the mood I’m in. I think he’s just trying to stop me from getting in a fight. Or getting so wasted I don’t know what’s happening and wind up leaving with some sleazy guy. He’s really patient with me, even when I yell at him that I don’t want coffee. Then he buys me a bottle of water.
3. The Genosha ball is coming up, and I’m surprisingly excited, considering I don’t dance and I have to wear a dress. But it’ll be nice to go with Doug because I’m comfortable around him. And it’ll be a good way to see some people again.
- A. If Kelly shows up I am belting him across the face. Unless Peter wants to do it, because frankly he can do more damage than me. I am so mad at him I can’t even stand it. And I don’t know what pisses me off more, the fact that he kissed Jean-Paul, or the fact that Jean-Paul doesn’t want to blame him for this. It’s so very clearly his fault that this happened. He’s in a position of authority, he’s always acted inappropriate with Jean-Paul, and Peter’s the one who has to suffer for it. And anyone who makes Peter feel bad needs to get punched in the face, because Peter is an amazing guy who won’t hurt anyone, and that is not fair.
[/private]
I couldn’t think of what to give up for Lent, so instead I decided to volunteer at an animal shelter. A dog peed on my sneakers and I learned how to give cats their medicine. The people there like me because I’m not afraid to take the big dogs for walks or anything. But then again, I haven’t been bitten yet, so that might change.
It makes me sad that some of the animals don’t have names. The people who work there said to just not be specific, and just use a lot of “come on, come over here, eat your food”’s. But that makes me sad. I know it sounds stupid but I feel like they know they don’t have a name, and they should be given one. But I guess if they get adopted the name might change, so they don’t want to confuse them. But most people change their pet’s name anyway, so I don’t see what difference it makes.
There’s a dog there with three legs whom I’ve affectionately started calling “tripod”. He was a stray and got hit by a car and I guess they amputated his leg. So now he runs around ridiculously fast for a dog with only one front leg. I adore him. He’s been around for awhile, but the place is a non-euthanize shelter, so they expect he’ll be there forever. That’s so sad.
This is me trying to put it all together. I think the last few days have made me so confused I don’t know which way is up anymore. It doesn’t help I’ve had a massive hangover for one of the days, but that’s no one’s fault but my own, so I guess I can’t complain.
1. Jean-Paul had a baby. Two babies. Neither of them were his, and I’ve lost track of where they are. Apparently it has something to do with Wanda. I’m so confused and I’m afraid to ask for details because:
- A. I don’t really want to know.
- B. I’m afraid if I get involved, some magical different universe baby will show up on Jean-Paul’s lap and he’ll have a freak out and I’ll wind up with a baby. I don’t want a baby right now.
- C. He might not mind so much if the baby was a redhead though. Now that I’m not with Fred my chances of an army of ginger kids has certainly dropped.
Aaaand I’m double checking that this thing is set to private. I don’t want Wanda thinking I want an army of redheaded children.
2. I’ve been alternating between going to AA and going to bars. That is SO not healthy. I feel like AA is my new confession. Except I don’t say anything when I go. I just sit there and listen to other people talk about how they’ve screwed their lives up and say to myself “I can’t wind up like that. I’m done going out drinking” and then I do it again a few days later.
- A. I need to stop getting into fights. I was at a club (more a music club than a real dance club. I don’t dance) and I got in a fight with a guy and the bouncer had to escort me out. The bastard tried to grope me and blame it on the fact that I was struggling. So I hit him too. I am really lucky he didn’t press charges. But I don’t think it’s very macho and bouncer-y to press charges on a 130 pound girl for hitting you. But I did hit him hard. And he deserved it.
- B. There’s a regular at one of the bars, his name is Ted, who’s started to get to know me. He doesn’t know my name, so he calls me Red, which makes me think of Jean and Logan. He seems nice. He tells the bartender when I’ve had enough and then buys me a cup of coffee, which sometimes I think is sweet and sometimes pisses me off. Depends on the mood I’m in. I think he’s just trying to stop me from getting in a fight. Or getting so wasted I don’t know what’s happening and wind up leaving with some sleazy guy. He’s really patient with me, even when I yell at him that I don’t want coffee. Then he buys me a bottle of water.
3. The Genosha ball is coming up, and I’m surprisingly excited, considering I don’t dance and I have to wear a dress. But it’ll be nice to go with Doug because I’m comfortable around him. And it’ll be a good way to see some people again.
- A. If Kelly shows up I am belting him across the face. Unless Peter wants to do it, because frankly he can do more damage than me. I am so mad at him I can’t even stand it. And I don’t know what pisses me off more, the fact that he kissed Jean-Paul, or the fact that Jean-Paul doesn’t want to blame him for this. It’s so very clearly his fault that this happened. He’s in a position of authority, he’s always acted inappropriate with Jean-Paul, and Peter’s the one who has to suffer for it. And anyone who makes Peter feel bad needs to get punched in the face, because Peter is an amazing guy who won’t hurt anyone, and that is not fair.
[/private]
I couldn’t think of what to give up for Lent, so instead I decided to volunteer at an animal shelter. A dog peed on my sneakers and I learned how to give cats their medicine. The people there like me because I’m not afraid to take the big dogs for walks or anything. But then again, I haven’t been bitten yet, so that might change.
It makes me sad that some of the animals don’t have names. The people who work there said to just not be specific, and just use a lot of “come on, come over here, eat your food”’s. But that makes me sad. I know it sounds stupid but I feel like they know they don’t have a name, and they should be given one. But I guess if they get adopted the name might change, so they don’t want to confuse them. But most people change their pet’s name anyway, so I don’t see what difference it makes.
There’s a dog there with three legs whom I’ve affectionately started calling “tripod”. He was a stray and got hit by a car and I guess they amputated his leg. So now he runs around ridiculously fast for a dog with only one front leg. I adore him. He’s been around for awhile, but the place is a non-euthanize shelter, so they expect he’ll be there forever. That’s so sad.