(no subject)
suprising lj doesn't have a tag for that one. not rejected - just a bit dejected.
it seems i've had asian girls on the brain recently. ahh whats new you say? i think hillary gave me asian fever sometimes - perhaps i'm lucky that's the only thing i was infected with. but that's unfair and i don't actually mean it.
i did dream about her though, recently. in the dream, as we were having a good time just having fun together, i said i loved her. and then apologized for it. i've never been able to live in a world where that was required of me - that's why allyson and i broke up.
regardless, i also dreamed about wendy a few days back. it was also a great dream, but alas it seems, one went to remain a dream only. once again, the deliciously lively green apple sour - the kind that makes your throat catch just a bit perhaps - of breaking up before you begin.
i've seen enough of the world now to think that you really shouldn't talk girls into things you want to be long term. so i managed to not try to talk her into giving things a try with me (or more honestly letting things remain in a stage of awkward but adventurous gray), but alas it's difficult. i've never met a girl more my equal, or better, that i was so attracted to. the obstacles are high, sure, but if people like us can't overcome such things than who can? stranger things, horatio, stranger things.
the certainly of friendship, the possibility of sex, but the clarity of not looking for more at this moment. but perhaps a bit too late - she's haunted me too much lately, even as i knew what her recent absence means. no suprises, no arguments. but still - it would have been a very interesting adventure.
recently i've been going out with a vietnamese chick named hanh. She's nice. Petite, pretty, athletic, and insecure and innocent enough to be truly fun to fuck, yet mature enough to be really up for it and to know what she's into.
there's no future there, and going with her is part of what made me want wendy more - that and absence makes the heart, as they say. but regardless, it's nice to just have someone to be with. we both know that's all it is - and if that changes things will end, but it's nice to go on dates now and then and know what the expectations are. it makes me aware of how easy it might be to settle. all i can say is not yet. not by a long way.
i haven't read them, but scrolling through my friends page tells me perhaps its that kind of year - many long or short posts, all heavy with the thoughts of the soul. it's too early in the game to stop playing, though. we just all need to remember what we are looking to win.
it seems i've had asian girls on the brain recently. ahh whats new you say? i think hillary gave me asian fever sometimes - perhaps i'm lucky that's the only thing i was infected with. but that's unfair and i don't actually mean it.
i did dream about her though, recently. in the dream, as we were having a good time just having fun together, i said i loved her. and then apologized for it. i've never been able to live in a world where that was required of me - that's why allyson and i broke up.
regardless, i also dreamed about wendy a few days back. it was also a great dream, but alas it seems, one went to remain a dream only. once again, the deliciously lively green apple sour - the kind that makes your throat catch just a bit perhaps - of breaking up before you begin.
i've seen enough of the world now to think that you really shouldn't talk girls into things you want to be long term. so i managed to not try to talk her into giving things a try with me (or more honestly letting things remain in a stage of awkward but adventurous gray), but alas it's difficult. i've never met a girl more my equal, or better, that i was so attracted to. the obstacles are high, sure, but if people like us can't overcome such things than who can? stranger things, horatio, stranger things.
the certainly of friendship, the possibility of sex, but the clarity of not looking for more at this moment. but perhaps a bit too late - she's haunted me too much lately, even as i knew what her recent absence means. no suprises, no arguments. but still - it would have been a very interesting adventure.
recently i've been going out with a vietnamese chick named hanh. She's nice. Petite, pretty, athletic, and insecure and innocent enough to be truly fun to fuck, yet mature enough to be really up for it and to know what she's into.
there's no future there, and going with her is part of what made me want wendy more - that and absence makes the heart, as they say. but regardless, it's nice to just have someone to be with. we both know that's all it is - and if that changes things will end, but it's nice to go on dates now and then and know what the expectations are. it makes me aware of how easy it might be to settle. all i can say is not yet. not by a long way.
i haven't read them, but scrolling through my friends page tells me perhaps its that kind of year - many long or short posts, all heavy with the thoughts of the soul. it's too early in the game to stop playing, though. we just all need to remember what we are looking to win.