You probably won't read all this..... seriously.
Typing class.
That’s what I need to be doing. I need to be in here with my thoughts and fractional intelligence in order to truly feel what I need to be feeling. It’s the fire in the palms that I’m talking about. It’s when you reach for the keyboard and you can feel the energy and thoughts welling up inside you. Just as your fingers touch down, that’s when it begins. The true, unadulterated freedom of mind. Where will it take me today? The events of the past few days is all I can really muster.
The question becomes communication. How does one communicate with the world when the world appears to be one soap opera after another? What goes into your mind is what comes right back out. We are a signature species, bound to not truly create anything - instead we simply take what is already existent and sign it. Change it. Put our signature on it lightly so that it’s not completely obvious where it came from originally. That’s the way it is with our words and our actions. There are now truly original thoughts except for those in extreme solitude or meditation. Even then, they seem to link up with a different, albeit sometimes not higher, power. The cycle begins again. Un-new thoughts go in, whether positive or negative, and slightly changed thoughts come out.
This is where the control can manifest itself. We have power over what goes into our mind, unless violence of either physicality or emotionality ensues. With everything that goes in, we have to let something else out. In the past I’ve tried to let things in but not let anything out. This results in a bloated conscious of sorts.
The reason I say all this is because need to let my conscious out just a bit.
Jess just walked through the room wearing a tank top. I can’t wait to see her in spandex and gym-ish clothes. I don’t know what it is about seeing girls in work out clothes that gets me so neutrally excited.
What is neutrally-excited, you ask? It’s what I like to call “date excited.” It’s the kind of borderline bumbling that allows you to pop off humorous quips while still keeping a very organic feel to your demeanor. You don’t care what the girl thinks - you’re just there to make stupid observations. That is what I refer to as neutrally-excited. There’s nothing that a normal (i.e. not preppy or lacking in brain) girl likes more than someone with casual interest in them who shows his weaker side. In my case, my weaker side is trying to make funny observations. Self deprecation is vital with one girl, negotiable with mixed crowds, and absolutely straight up wrong in all-guy situations of mixed backgrounds. Every social situation must be felt out with a certain amount of instinctual fervor. Never try to analyze a situation rationally. You will fail every time. My proof text is middle school.
In middle school there are pencils, little boobies, busses, and scowling freckled bad asses. The true folly of the middle school boy is trying to ascertain what social situation, or combination of people, is the correct one for making the move on the girl with the little boobies. If there is even one person out of place, the middle schooler will trip and fall all over his own words, sabotaging himself with negative self-talk. It’s not till later - or after an intervention - that he realizes that he is the only thing that makes the social situation. He has complete control over it as long as he has control over what he thinks and feels.
Thus we have the birth of another boy’s own, slightly signatured, version of “date excited.” And we have the dance starting all over again. With the realization that this has all been done before, we find the entire process easier to get around. All we must do is ask people who have already been through this.
Now for a random picture:
That’s what I need to be doing. I need to be in here with my thoughts and fractional intelligence in order to truly feel what I need to be feeling. It’s the fire in the palms that I’m talking about. It’s when you reach for the keyboard and you can feel the energy and thoughts welling up inside you. Just as your fingers touch down, that’s when it begins. The true, unadulterated freedom of mind. Where will it take me today? The events of the past few days is all I can really muster.
The question becomes communication. How does one communicate with the world when the world appears to be one soap opera after another? What goes into your mind is what comes right back out. We are a signature species, bound to not truly create anything - instead we simply take what is already existent and sign it. Change it. Put our signature on it lightly so that it’s not completely obvious where it came from originally. That’s the way it is with our words and our actions. There are now truly original thoughts except for those in extreme solitude or meditation. Even then, they seem to link up with a different, albeit sometimes not higher, power. The cycle begins again. Un-new thoughts go in, whether positive or negative, and slightly changed thoughts come out.
This is where the control can manifest itself. We have power over what goes into our mind, unless violence of either physicality or emotionality ensues. With everything that goes in, we have to let something else out. In the past I’ve tried to let things in but not let anything out. This results in a bloated conscious of sorts.
The reason I say all this is because need to let my conscious out just a bit.
Jess just walked through the room wearing a tank top. I can’t wait to see her in spandex and gym-ish clothes. I don’t know what it is about seeing girls in work out clothes that gets me so neutrally excited.
What is neutrally-excited, you ask? It’s what I like to call “date excited.” It’s the kind of borderline bumbling that allows you to pop off humorous quips while still keeping a very organic feel to your demeanor. You don’t care what the girl thinks - you’re just there to make stupid observations. That is what I refer to as neutrally-excited. There’s nothing that a normal (i.e. not preppy or lacking in brain) girl likes more than someone with casual interest in them who shows his weaker side. In my case, my weaker side is trying to make funny observations. Self deprecation is vital with one girl, negotiable with mixed crowds, and absolutely straight up wrong in all-guy situations of mixed backgrounds. Every social situation must be felt out with a certain amount of instinctual fervor. Never try to analyze a situation rationally. You will fail every time. My proof text is middle school.
In middle school there are pencils, little boobies, busses, and scowling freckled bad asses. The true folly of the middle school boy is trying to ascertain what social situation, or combination of people, is the correct one for making the move on the girl with the little boobies. If there is even one person out of place, the middle schooler will trip and fall all over his own words, sabotaging himself with negative self-talk. It’s not till later - or after an intervention - that he realizes that he is the only thing that makes the social situation. He has complete control over it as long as he has control over what he thinks and feels.
Thus we have the birth of another boy’s own, slightly signatured, version of “date excited.” And we have the dance starting all over again. With the realization that this has all been done before, we find the entire process easier to get around. All we must do is ask people who have already been through this.
Now for a random picture: