Get Money, New Money: Pt. 2 of 2
If I had unlimited funds at my disposal and had exhausted the fun it could buy me, the only way I could think to save my sanity would be art. However, since I've got unlimited funds, it would be some pretty damn extravagant art.
What I'd do is remake movies. I'd remake bad movies. Every time one of these cheesy, dumb movies made by a committee comes out, I'd remake it. Right away. And since money is not an object, I'd be able to get the original cast as well, plus use all the sets. Of course, these remakes would be radical reinterpretations. Of course goofy comedies would become serious dramas, and dark serious movies would become light-hearted comedies, but the range would be broader than that. Thrillers would abandon the pretense of taking audiences for a harmless ride and become barefaced investigations of morality that left audiences with uncomfortable questions. Spoof movies would be taken to even further post-modern extremes and become a spoof of people trying to make spoof movies, with heavy doses of McLuhanesque pontificating. Action packed racing movies would be remade as hokey 1950's education videos on the dangers of such a life-style.
When I become bored remaking bad movies, I'll start farming out my work to well-known directors. Cronenberg gets to remake every bad monster movie. David Lynch gets to twist schlock dramas on their ears. And, like Sisyphus, Stephen Spielberg is forced to remake every one of his movies over and over. Someday he'll get it right. Also, Lars von Trier gets all the comedies, but he has to work with Michel Gondry as cinematographer. The Cohen brothers can take on any movie they think they could have done better.
Meanwhile, I will begin remaking good movies as bad ones. Midnight Cowboy will become a cheap-laugh buddy comedy. The Seven Samurai will be made with tons of poor CGI-effects and will start Jet Li and Tom Cruise. And Metropolis would be remade with a way-too-fucking-obvious contemporary political analogy because I'd let Alan Moore rewrite it. I'd remake The Brown Bunny about fifteen times without changing a single thing.
And when I finished fucking with the world of cinema, I dunno. I guess I'd launch myself into space.
What I'd do is remake movies. I'd remake bad movies. Every time one of these cheesy, dumb movies made by a committee comes out, I'd remake it. Right away. And since money is not an object, I'd be able to get the original cast as well, plus use all the sets. Of course, these remakes would be radical reinterpretations. Of course goofy comedies would become serious dramas, and dark serious movies would become light-hearted comedies, but the range would be broader than that. Thrillers would abandon the pretense of taking audiences for a harmless ride and become barefaced investigations of morality that left audiences with uncomfortable questions. Spoof movies would be taken to even further post-modern extremes and become a spoof of people trying to make spoof movies, with heavy doses of McLuhanesque pontificating. Action packed racing movies would be remade as hokey 1950's education videos on the dangers of such a life-style.
When I become bored remaking bad movies, I'll start farming out my work to well-known directors. Cronenberg gets to remake every bad monster movie. David Lynch gets to twist schlock dramas on their ears. And, like Sisyphus, Stephen Spielberg is forced to remake every one of his movies over and over. Someday he'll get it right. Also, Lars von Trier gets all the comedies, but he has to work with Michel Gondry as cinematographer. The Cohen brothers can take on any movie they think they could have done better.
Meanwhile, I will begin remaking good movies as bad ones. Midnight Cowboy will become a cheap-laugh buddy comedy. The Seven Samurai will be made with tons of poor CGI-effects and will start Jet Li and Tom Cruise. And Metropolis would be remade with a way-too-fucking-obvious contemporary political analogy because I'd let Alan Moore rewrite it. I'd remake The Brown Bunny about fifteen times without changing a single thing.
And when I finished fucking with the world of cinema, I dunno. I guess I'd launch myself into space.