AAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Oct 19, 2005 23:21

I'm having one of those days today. I seriously just want my old friends back. You guys may think i don't miss you because i don't keep in touch as much but the thing is I every time i hear someone or talk to someone it's so hard to say goodbye. I've had a shitty day so my judgement could be slurred right now. And I've made some really nice friends. But they're not the same. People have been treating me like i'm absolutely retarded all day. My stage manager made it a point to tell me not to scream when I was talking to someone and make me feel like an idiot but then started to do the same thing 15 minutes later. Yes I make people laugh. Yes people think i'm funny. Stupid eddie, he'll never get life. AHHHHH!!!! I get life more than you think, that's why I'm able to joke about it!! But the problem is also me playing into my insecurities. I keep telling myself, you're gonna fuck up, you're gonna fuck up. I don't even know what I'm doing here. I don't know what I want to major in. I do, but i'm not strong enough to go for it. I'm sorry if you read this and got bummed out. I needed to vent about today somehow. College really is an awesome, fun experience, but don't let ANYONE convince you that it's going to be all peaches and cream. It's hard. If it wasn't then not that many people would do it. I truly love and miss you all and can't wait to see your wonderful faces again!!!!!!!
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