Three ten a em news
News:
* Optimism is not dead, it was found earlier yesterday hiding behind a wall. When asked why it ran away, it smiled and started dancing. Scientists are baffled.
* We have recently been told Coca-cola no longer contains cocaine, a slight bummer for this newscaster who drank the beverage thinking it was rebellious.
* Dinosaurs may or may not have had feathers. Scientists are still debating. I honestly have no idea why. Dinosaurs having or not having feathers seems rather unimportant. But perhaps in the future an alien race will tell us it will destroy our planet if we do not answer one question, and that question will be: "Dinosaurs had feathers, true or false?" I now understand the significance of this debate.
* I have been told by my editors I should maintain some neutrality and -not- give my thoughts on the significance of feathered dinosaurs.
* Being short is the newest hip thing to do. A recent medical procedure removes the patients hip, allowing the patient to be slightly shorter, and also immensely disabled.
* The fashion wars are heating up in Japan. The Fashion Wars are a recent set of violent occurrences that can be likened to the Emo Genre wars going on on in the United States.
* Jedi remains a popular religious choice in Australia.
* As gas prices continue to rise, so do the voices of angry people who think the United States controls OPEC.
* Recent studies show that the United States is not omnipotent. Many scientists running this study have gone missing, the remaining scientists plea for help. More as the story develops.
* Britney Spears is still alive, or at least still breathing and clawing for recognition. She has received some intense recognition from certain sites that I'm not allowed to go to on work computers, but I'm told they deal with mommy fetishes. I asked to go see, as I collect fetishes, and I can only wonder what a mommy fetish looks like. My doggy fetish looks like a little seashell with puppies painted on it, warrior puppies. It is said the doggy fetish contains the spirit of an ancient warrior dog race. A whole race of warrior dogs in a seashell, wow!
* My boss is now telling me to stop, something about keeping personal things out of the news.
News that interests me, and that's about it:
* Tomorrow is Sunday! My grandparent's are back home. This means Isabella is back. I will be visiting my grandparent's house tomorrow!
(Isabella is my four-year old cousin)
* I'm actually going to start working on this compare or contrast essay tomorrow. It's not due until a much later date, but because of this Atlanta thing, I have much less time to work on it. The essay requires that I compare or contrast myself to a famous living person. We can not both compare and contrast, thus the "or." So I'm deciding between Pat Robertson or Tony Danza. I love Pat because I really dislike him, and Tony Danza is an arbitrary option. I'm pulling for Pat.
* I'm being paid for some impromptu tutoring... that I did a few weeks ago for two weeks. A whole ten dollars! Woo. I didn't want to charge. Do people ever just accept someone doing something for free?
That is it.
* Optimism is not dead, it was found earlier yesterday hiding behind a wall. When asked why it ran away, it smiled and started dancing. Scientists are baffled.
* We have recently been told Coca-cola no longer contains cocaine, a slight bummer for this newscaster who drank the beverage thinking it was rebellious.
* Dinosaurs may or may not have had feathers. Scientists are still debating. I honestly have no idea why. Dinosaurs having or not having feathers seems rather unimportant. But perhaps in the future an alien race will tell us it will destroy our planet if we do not answer one question, and that question will be: "Dinosaurs had feathers, true or false?" I now understand the significance of this debate.
* I have been told by my editors I should maintain some neutrality and -not- give my thoughts on the significance of feathered dinosaurs.
* Being short is the newest hip thing to do. A recent medical procedure removes the patients hip, allowing the patient to be slightly shorter, and also immensely disabled.
* The fashion wars are heating up in Japan. The Fashion Wars are a recent set of violent occurrences that can be likened to the Emo Genre wars going on on in the United States.
* Jedi remains a popular religious choice in Australia.
* As gas prices continue to rise, so do the voices of angry people who think the United States controls OPEC.
* Recent studies show that the United States is not omnipotent. Many scientists running this study have gone missing, the remaining scientists plea for help. More as the story develops.
* Britney Spears is still alive, or at least still breathing and clawing for recognition. She has received some intense recognition from certain sites that I'm not allowed to go to on work computers, but I'm told they deal with mommy fetishes. I asked to go see, as I collect fetishes, and I can only wonder what a mommy fetish looks like. My doggy fetish looks like a little seashell with puppies painted on it, warrior puppies. It is said the doggy fetish contains the spirit of an ancient warrior dog race. A whole race of warrior dogs in a seashell, wow!
* My boss is now telling me to stop, something about keeping personal things out of the news.
News that interests me, and that's about it:
* Tomorrow is Sunday! My grandparent's are back home. This means Isabella is back. I will be visiting my grandparent's house tomorrow!
(Isabella is my four-year old cousin)
* I'm actually going to start working on this compare or contrast essay tomorrow. It's not due until a much later date, but because of this Atlanta thing, I have much less time to work on it. The essay requires that I compare or contrast myself to a famous living person. We can not both compare and contrast, thus the "or." So I'm deciding between Pat Robertson or Tony Danza. I love Pat because I really dislike him, and Tony Danza is an arbitrary option. I'm pulling for Pat.
* I'm being paid for some impromptu tutoring... that I did a few weeks ago for two weeks. A whole ten dollars! Woo. I didn't want to charge. Do people ever just accept someone doing something for free?
That is it.