Do over
Well... I wouldn't do it all over again, but I'd change a few things...
I'd never in a million years move back home. Hated it there. Absolute rubbish. All of them crazy. But... I guess I'd have tried harder for Reg... Not tried harder to be a good son for our parents, but to be a good brother for him. When we were kids we used to be close, but then I got sorted into Gryffindor and suddenly Mother started putting thoughts in his head. Trying to turn him against me, telling him to stay away, that I was a bad influence.
I guess in the end... I started playing into that. I stopped acting like the big brother I had been and started only caring for myself. Any time Reg tried to talk to me or hang out, I'd always tell him to piss off. Then I'd go off with my mates and we'd laugh about him. How he'd follow me around like a shadow.
Then he got sorted into Slytherin... Maybe I thought he'd be more like me and come to Gryffindor. I don't know. All I know is that I started lumping him together with all the other Slytherins. My mates and I began tripping him in the corridors and hexing him.
At first, he was hurt. He'd always look at me with wide eyes, as though I'd let him down. And I did... I wasn't there for him when he needed me most. But I'm getting ahead of myself. He'd always try and find me, trying to talk to me, asking me why I was doing this. He tried to convince me that he was still the same, even though he was in Slytherin and I was in Gryffindor that we could still be friends. That we could still be brothers. But I just brushed him off. I called him all kinds of things, said that he'd probably get himself killed. Told him he didn't stand a chance with the Death Eaters or against them. Called him useless and a waste of space. And he just looked at me. That hurt the most, I think. He never even tried to deny it.
When I ran away from home, he tried to stop me. Begged me not to leave. Told me things would get better. I laughed at him. Right in his face. I called him naive, stupid, a child. Couldn't he see that it would never change? That our parents hate me? That I had never belonged in the family? Then he begged me to take him with me. He told me that he wanted to to be brothers again. The same things he'd been saying since he'd started at Hogwarts. Since I'd cut him off. For being one of them. Just another Slytherin. Just another Black. Not like me. I told him that I didn't need a spineless git following me around. I didn't want to hurt him... I didn't want to... I thought that it might be better for him if I wasn't around. In some twisted logic I thought I was saving him. I realize now that I was wrong.
Then, he just stopped. He let me and my mates ridicule him in front of his classmates. In front of the whole school. Didn't say a word about it. Never even looked at me.
Soon after that, he started hanging out with that Crouch kid, who was always a little off, and Snivelly. My big brother instincts kicked back in and I tried to talk to him. I'd corner him after classes, when both of our friends weren't around. Tried to talk some sense into him. Told him it wasn't too late. That he could still turn away from them. And he just looked at me. Blankly. As though we'd never been brothers. He told me that it was too late. That I was too late. He looked at me like I never mattered... My baby brother... Little Reggie.
If I could go back, I'd take back everything I'd said to him since I got to Hogwarts. Since he was sorted into Slytherin. I'd take him with me when I left home. I'd be his brother again...
I'd never in a million years move back home. Hated it there. Absolute rubbish. All of them crazy. But... I guess I'd have tried harder for Reg... Not tried harder to be a good son for our parents, but to be a good brother for him. When we were kids we used to be close, but then I got sorted into Gryffindor and suddenly Mother started putting thoughts in his head. Trying to turn him against me, telling him to stay away, that I was a bad influence.
I guess in the end... I started playing into that. I stopped acting like the big brother I had been and started only caring for myself. Any time Reg tried to talk to me or hang out, I'd always tell him to piss off. Then I'd go off with my mates and we'd laugh about him. How he'd follow me around like a shadow.
Then he got sorted into Slytherin... Maybe I thought he'd be more like me and come to Gryffindor. I don't know. All I know is that I started lumping him together with all the other Slytherins. My mates and I began tripping him in the corridors and hexing him.
At first, he was hurt. He'd always look at me with wide eyes, as though I'd let him down. And I did... I wasn't there for him when he needed me most. But I'm getting ahead of myself. He'd always try and find me, trying to talk to me, asking me why I was doing this. He tried to convince me that he was still the same, even though he was in Slytherin and I was in Gryffindor that we could still be friends. That we could still be brothers. But I just brushed him off. I called him all kinds of things, said that he'd probably get himself killed. Told him he didn't stand a chance with the Death Eaters or against them. Called him useless and a waste of space. And he just looked at me. That hurt the most, I think. He never even tried to deny it.
When I ran away from home, he tried to stop me. Begged me not to leave. Told me things would get better. I laughed at him. Right in his face. I called him naive, stupid, a child. Couldn't he see that it would never change? That our parents hate me? That I had never belonged in the family? Then he begged me to take him with me. He told me that he wanted to to be brothers again. The same things he'd been saying since he'd started at Hogwarts. Since I'd cut him off. For being one of them. Just another Slytherin. Just another Black. Not like me. I told him that I didn't need a spineless git following me around. I didn't want to hurt him... I didn't want to... I thought that it might be better for him if I wasn't around. In some twisted logic I thought I was saving him. I realize now that I was wrong.
Then, he just stopped. He let me and my mates ridicule him in front of his classmates. In front of the whole school. Didn't say a word about it. Never even looked at me.
Soon after that, he started hanging out with that Crouch kid, who was always a little off, and Snivelly. My big brother instincts kicked back in and I tried to talk to him. I'd corner him after classes, when both of our friends weren't around. Tried to talk some sense into him. Told him it wasn't too late. That he could still turn away from them. And he just looked at me. Blankly. As though we'd never been brothers. He told me that it was too late. That I was too late. He looked at me like I never mattered... My baby brother... Little Reggie.
If I could go back, I'd take back everything I'd said to him since I got to Hogwarts. Since he was sorted into Slytherin. I'd take him with me when I left home. I'd be his brother again...