(no subject)
Death and destruction, that is what I feel all around me lately. The only time I feel happy is when Mary is around. But even that isn't enough anymore. I wish for absolution. I wish for an end to happen. Take this for what you will, a cry for help, a cry for death. My soul is haunted by the past, a past I thought was gone and buried. It's everything that I'm accounted for in life that are dragging me back to the past. When the world was on my shoulders. Make a choice in life, your happiness or the happiness of your friends. The selfish would choose their own, but anyone that truly knows me knows I would choose my friends over myself. It's the sacrifice that needs to be made. The needs of the many outweight the needs of the few, or the one. My friends tell me it's not my fault that they are hurting right now. You won't convince me that that is true. I will always feel that responsiblity, that I am the one who caused it, just by being selfish. It's the weight of my gift. The weight that hearing the dead brings upon me. Imagine trying to get over the loss of a loved one. Imagine after you have, hearing their voices everyday. I know some of you think that I'm crazy, and I sometimes think it too. I am going to take Karen's advice and write that auto about true darkness. Everyone has darkness in them. Everyone has things in their past they would rather forget. the more you understand this, the harder it is. The Dark Messager is coming.