Merry christmas to you too.....
Dec 25, 2004
Current mood:
stressed
well pretty much things around my life seemed it was going well thats until. yesterday. i come to work and that was a disastor in waiting. i took the boys to my supervisors house for a nice night of christmas. and what happens, they were loud and rude, and just plain damn rude. and then after that i had to race back to gysai's house cus i had his atm, so i went there and gave him his card, and his mom is in town. and he tells me mike we need to talk after christmas. and im like oh shit i know where this is going. so i told just tell me gysai, and well pretty much he told me what i was thinking already. he told me " well my mom found out that your staying here with me and my sister, and well she diidnt lket hat efact of it cuss shes paying half of my rent and im almost 30, and i have to ask my mom for help, and im sorry i tried talking to her but she wouldnt hear of it, but some of thing stha tshe said i agree with, but im happy and im not happy, cus i get my space back but i dont want to do this to you, im not trying to kick you out, mike, its just somethign that needs to be, so by jan 2, is what im giving you, when i come down stairs i dont ant to see any of your stuff here, butyou could still use the storage, i have no problemm with that". well that was great deal of joy for me, wasnt it ? so now i have till the 2nd of january. great! which pretty much means that i might have to ask my sister to convert the garage into a room, or find a place where theres a room availble and cheap. cus i only work two part time jobs. and then just to put the icing on the cake, i talked to my mother, and she was telling me how much i hurt her, and that im the youngest and i was suppose to set an example for the rest WHO ARE OLDER THAN ME?! and that she didnt think the things that were done where done by me. that she helped me out the most, and that i took advantage of her, and her trust. well yeah i did i screwed my relationship with my mother, and for what? for some asshole who is a no good sona of a bitch! but i blame myself as well cuss i let my self get caught into that hole of shit that i trying to dig out little by little. now she wants me to try to see what i did was wrong (and i did) and to work things back again, but hey i can but not to the fullest, she wants me to get an education, which i agree, i want one, second she wants me to get my life straight, which of course i plan to do now, cuss no w i know im on my own, (sort of). and last my not least (which is the one i dont agree with) she wants me to get a girlfriend, and to leave my homosexuality behind me, to stop hanging out with my friends (yes that includes you too rene if your reading this, lol, love ya like a cord sore :X ) i think not, thats where i stop the line, i know now that me and my mom cold get along and that i can get her trust back but to a certain extint, this is who i'am, this is me, i m not going to change for anyone, if change its cuss i decide too, cuss i CHOOSE too, not cuss of someone or by anyone. so with that and all that was my christmas, what a happy christmas i had, i hope everyone elses was better than mine, and i cant say that my christmas was the worst of all, cuss my friend (lil sister) went with her ex, which is the father of her daughter, to his house for christmas, and ended up yelling at her in front of his family, and called her a bitch, and took the baby, and the keys to the car, and she spent she christmas in the car, crying all night long. thats really fucked up, i feel bad for her, but i will always be there for her. well thats pretty much it for now, hope fully by next entry i make, i can say i have a place of my own for a room that i can call home.
Current mood:
stressed
well pretty much things around my life seemed it was going well thats until. yesterday. i come to work and that was a disastor in waiting. i took the boys to my supervisors house for a nice night of christmas. and what happens, they were loud and rude, and just plain damn rude. and then after that i had to race back to gysai's house cus i had his atm, so i went there and gave him his card, and his mom is in town. and he tells me mike we need to talk after christmas. and im like oh shit i know where this is going. so i told just tell me gysai, and well pretty much he told me what i was thinking already. he told me " well my mom found out that your staying here with me and my sister, and well she diidnt lket hat efact of it cuss shes paying half of my rent and im almost 30, and i have to ask my mom for help, and im sorry i tried talking to her but she wouldnt hear of it, but some of thing stha tshe said i agree with, but im happy and im not happy, cus i get my space back but i dont want to do this to you, im not trying to kick you out, mike, its just somethign that needs to be, so by jan 2, is what im giving you, when i come down stairs i dont ant to see any of your stuff here, butyou could still use the storage, i have no problemm with that". well that was great deal of joy for me, wasnt it ? so now i have till the 2nd of january. great! which pretty much means that i might have to ask my sister to convert the garage into a room, or find a place where theres a room availble and cheap. cus i only work two part time jobs. and then just to put the icing on the cake, i talked to my mother, and she was telling me how much i hurt her, and that im the youngest and i was suppose to set an example for the rest WHO ARE OLDER THAN ME?! and that she didnt think the things that were done where done by me. that she helped me out the most, and that i took advantage of her, and her trust. well yeah i did i screwed my relationship with my mother, and for what? for some asshole who is a no good sona of a bitch! but i blame myself as well cuss i let my self get caught into that hole of shit that i trying to dig out little by little. now she wants me to try to see what i did was wrong (and i did) and to work things back again, but hey i can but not to the fullest, she wants me to get an education, which i agree, i want one, second she wants me to get my life straight, which of course i plan to do now, cuss no w i know im on my own, (sort of). and last my not least (which is the one i dont agree with) she wants me to get a girlfriend, and to leave my homosexuality behind me, to stop hanging out with my friends (yes that includes you too rene if your reading this, lol, love ya like a cord sore :X ) i think not, thats where i stop the line, i know now that me and my mom cold get along and that i can get her trust back but to a certain extint, this is who i'am, this is me, i m not going to change for anyone, if change its cuss i decide too, cuss i CHOOSE too, not cuss of someone or by anyone. so with that and all that was my christmas, what a happy christmas i had, i hope everyone elses was better than mine, and i cant say that my christmas was the worst of all, cuss my friend (lil sister) went with her ex, which is the father of her daughter, to his house for christmas, and ended up yelling at her in front of his family, and called her a bitch, and took the baby, and the keys to the car, and she spent she christmas in the car, crying all night long. thats really fucked up, i feel bad for her, but i will always be there for her. well thats pretty much it for now, hope fully by next entry i make, i can say i have a place of my own for a room that i can call home.