Awesome friends.
I was typing an e-mail to halosphere and in it I was talking about two wonderful friends I grew close to in junior college. While typing it, it occurred to me that I should share just how much they mean to me. Here's the excerpt from the e-mail:
I'm not used to having friends be there for me either; partly I'm rarely close enough to anyone, and partly like Gabriel I didn't like having people witness my weakness or tears, so I'd wait til I was alone to break down. I generally provided the shoulder for others to lean on but didn't like leaning on their shoulders - which would have been awkward anyway, I'm bigger than most of my friends and have broader shoulders. XD But two good friends I made in junior college, Gena and Alvina (who prefers being called Alvie) noticed little things I wasn't even aware of until they pointed them out, like how stiff I got if someone got physically close to me, how stiff and tense I generally was anyway (though Alvie is GREAT at back massages and can reduce me to a happy boneless lump), how sometimes I looked like I was lonely and in need of a hug (Me: How do I look like I need a hug? o_O Gena: I don't know. Sometimes you just look... sad.) and how I kept my problems to myself and seemed so uncomfortable around others.
I explained I wasn't used to having such friends, or even people who wanted to be around me, and Alvie told me, "Well, get used to it."
So I slowly got used to it. They're both very nice to cuddle anyway XD so physically and emotionally I was very comfortable around them. I shared my problems with them and listened to theirs, we had lots of insane fun times, and we all got one another through the A Levels.
At the time, my whole life was just school-library-home-school-home. I'd spend my breaks in the library, reading or on the computer, and occasionally I stopped at a mall near my house if I needed to buy something on the way home, but other than that I was so sheltered it makes me laugh now. Gena made me actually eat with others, much like Lakshmi did for me in secondary school (there were times Lakshmi literally dragged me out of the library despite being so much smaller than me). Some time in the second half of the year, after an abysmal mid-year exam performance on my part, she offered to tutor me in Chemistry and so I started spending more time with her, Alvie, Deanna, Jing Jia, Jin Yang, Kai Jie and Ras. We spent most of our time in one of the isolated little Container classrooms, alternately studying and discussing sex and other random things. I went out with them to nearby hawker centres for lunch, and on a few occasions we went (once Deanna drove us in her car, and my dad nearly got a heart attack when I told him that) to Serangoon Central to buy bubble tea and McDonald's and otak. I'd only ever bought milky bubble tea a few times in Upper Secondary and this appalled them. XD Now instead of living on sandwiches and cold mee goreng from the school canteen, I learnt to be a little more familiar with Serangoon Central, which was really near Nanyang JC anyway. Despite having studied there since Feb 2009 and having been to the McDonald's there and back with various classmates many times, only late last year was I actually able to go back to school from there by myself. *blush*
During the long study break before the exams, I went to stay with my uncle and grandma, who live in a part of Hougang that's near Serangoon. I could take a bus to Serangoon Interchange and then at first I took the MRT to Lorong Chuan and walked from there, but soon I was just walking to school from the Interchange. However, what I saved on transport I spent on food! Gena eats a LOT and enjoys pretty much every meal. And she always tempts you into eating more, too. So eating with Gena ensures that your wallet grows lighter and you grow heavier. XD However, she also ensured that I actually ate decent meals instead of living on plain mee goreng (I bought those almost every day because at $1 without side dishes they were cheap, and since they could be packed in styrofoam boxes I could bring them to the librarians' workroom and wolf down lunch in five minutes while RPing). They were overjoyed to learn that I now lived so near them, because now I could spend more time with them and get home faster.
On one occasion, I had horrible stomach cramps in school. Alvie was at home as she had been feeling a little ill in the morning, and Gena and I had been planning to meet her for lunch, but then I was in severe pain. So we took a cab to Alvie's house and I was made to strip down to PE attire and lie down on Alvie's bed. Gena held a hot water bottle to my stomach and then, since we were all hungry, she went down to the nearby stores to buy some food. Meanwhile Alvie, who as I said is very warm and cuddly, cuddled with me and held the hot water bottle in place. Feeling extremely comfortable and safe, I dozed off.
Gena returned with Milo, jelly, kueh, cheese fries for me, otak or something (don't recall) for Alvie, and bustled about making toast for us, and they had the awful job of waking me up. We ate, watched some episodes of a Chinese drama, and then studied for a while before finally leaving (call it a daytime sleepover XD). Alvie walked us to the bus-stop and doublechecked that I was feeling much better. Since I lived so near Gena now, we took the same bus and got down at some point near the condominium where I now lived with my gran; she walked me to the gate and then walked home. I'm grateful to them for a lot of things, but particularly that afternoon when they took such good care of me when I was in pain.
Plus, during that revision period, consultation slots with teachers were in high demand. Gena, Deanna, Jing Jia and I thus formed a little consultation group for History and Eng Lit (I believe Alvie joined them for Econs, which I didn't take), and Mr Sequiera (who taught us International History) called us the fearsome foursome, or the terrible threesome if either Deanna or JJ didn't show up. I can think fondly of those consultations, because being in small groups meant the teacher had more time to attend to your personal doubts and misconceptions (Poor Mr Sequiera was so appalled at us so many times) and it was also a more informal atmosphere, so there was a lot of joking around too. And Ms Melissa Kwok (who taught us Shakespeare) was completely in love with my gran's muruku (traditional fried Indian snack). XD So were Gena and the others, really; I'd bring bagfuls to school and watch them finish in ten minutes.
[also, the memory of what we'd discussed, about the Second Front and the events leading to the Cold War, during one of those consultations practically saved my life during the International History A Level paper]
And one day during one of the breaks during the A Levels, there was construction going on outside Gena's house and it was really noisy, so she asked if she could come over to study with me for our Women in Lit paper. My gran and uncle agreed. I love discussing Lit with Gena; half the time we have completely different viewpoints, but we love arguing them out with all the evidence and we usually end up accepting the validity of each other's statements, if not the viewpoint itself. Since we need counterarguments in essays, this was useful. XD So we sat in the living room, surrounded by books and files, and argued and pointed things out and frantically flipped through texts looking for quotes we remembered and highlighted things and annotated notes and actually enjoyed ourselves. Later we took a study break to talk to Alvie via webcam on MSN, and we ate lots of muruku.
The A Levels were horribly stressful and I broke down a number of times and kept questioning myself, but moments like that, as well as phone conversations and the occasional FB rant during study breaks, really helped keep me going. eidolon_bird , sunflower_mynah , steadfast , _silverfox, rickyzehrer , halosphere , minselding , Priyanka, and others like my wonderful big sister helped so much too, and I owe you guys so much. <3
I should be going out with Gena and Alvie next Tuesday, if all goes well, and I'm really looking forward to it. I mean, I spent so much time with them last year and now it's been weeks; I miss them. :( *stares at the calendar, willing it to go faster*