Fic - Aidilfitri
I've been meaning to post this here for a month.
Notes: Gabriel is my roleplay character as seen at cattygabriel ; he is pretty much an original character based on the Bible, angelology research, Good Omens and Neil Gaiman in general. Lucifer is also somewhat original; he's my take on the Devil, based on the Bible, research*, Neil Gaiman and the Lucifer comics. Sultana too is a minor OC, though her name was taken from Jean Sasson's Princess.
*I like the Persian legend that Lucifer fell because he loved God so much that he couldn't bow before anyone else. So he refused to bow before Adam, and we all know what happened next. I also see this as having taken place a very long time ago.
Aidilfitri
Contrary to popular belief, the desert was not always a land of blistering heat and scorching sands. In fact, it was rather cool during the dawn and dusk, and at night.
It was not dusk yet, however, and Gabriel squinted against the sun, more for the benefit of the girl at his side than because it hurt his eyes.
“This is reckless and dangerous, Sultana,” he murmured.
“You help me escape my other minders, and then warn me? You are a conflicted man, Jibril.” Sultana’s tone was light, teasing, as she brushed off some sand clinging to the silver embroidery on Gabriel’s blue robes. Then she reached up to her veil. Gabriel caught her hand.
“Not only are you alone with a man, you are removing your veil? Do you want to be stoned?”
Sultana pulled away, tugging off the veil and headscarf, tossing her long thick hair defiantly, and her dark eyes flashed. “Being stoned would be worth this one moment of freedom. Is it wrong to want to see the setting sun set the sand-dunes ablaze with my own eyes, with no cloth in the way? To feel the desert breeze in my hair for the first time since I became a woman? I feel imprisoned in there.” She gestured back towards the city.
Gabriel didn’t say anything for a moment. I told Muhammad nothing about treating women like this. Then, “We should hurry. There’s the Hari Raya Aidilfitri feast, and your aunts will be frantic. In fact, we’ll be lucky if we’re alive and allowed to attend the feast.” He was only half-joking.
Sultana flapped her veil at him, laughing. “Has fasting for the month of Ramadan made you more sour than usual, brother Jibril?”
“I’m not sour. And you could stand to call me brother more often. I have heard your mother and aunts saying that were I richer, we would be a good match.”
Sultana laughed. “You should be flattered. The Caliph himself could ask for me and my mother would find something to be improved in him.” Gabriel stiffened suddenly, and she frowned. “Jibril?”
Gabriel clenched his jaw. Surely his senses were lying. Not him. Not here, now. And Gabriel himself was alone; no, not alone, Sultana stood by his side, and that made it so much worse. He worked his jaw for a moment, trying to find his voice.
“Sultana, go. Go to find your aunts.”
“What? But the sun is still -”
“Run! Now!” Gabriel clenched his fist, ready to call his sword to him. Lucifer was close, he could sense it, and surely the Fallen Lightbringer could sense him as well.
Sultana blinked at the sudden urgency in his voice. Normally she would argue, but something in his tone made her turn to run. She gasped, shrinking back against his side; faster than the mortal eye could follow, Gabriel had moved to shield her against the approaching figure.
Lucifer Morningstar strolled towards them, keeping his balance perfectly on the shifting sands. His wings, two wing-shaped voids of pure shadow and darkness, stretched towards the sky, and richly embroidered dark robes clung to his body, billowing around his feet. Gabriel shifted, glancing at Sultana, but she had already seen more than she should have, than any mortal should. His own blue-tinged wings unfurled; his sword materialized in his hand, glittering tongues of divine fire licking the blade.
Lucifer reached the sand-dune where they stood, raising an eyebrow briefly at Gabriel’s stance. He smiled the same amused smile he had worn as an angel, but it no longer reached his eyes; they were strangely blank, empty.
“Come now, Gabriel. This is no way to welcome an old friend.”
Gabriel lifted his sword. “My friend is long gone.” Oh, if only he really believed that. “And I will not go down easily, Satan.”
Lucifer simply laughed. “I am not looking for a fight, dear Gabriel.” His tone was patient, patronising.
Gabriel refused to let it get to him. “The last time we met, you said you would kill me. So go ahead and try, Sataniel.”
“Your memory is going, old friend.” Lucifer’s eyes landed on the horrified figure of Sultana, staring at him and at the man she had called brother, and his smile widened. “I simply said that you would not be as lucky. I did not know you planned to join the Grigori, however.”
Gabriel’s eyes hardened. “I will not Fall. Not even you can make me Fall.”
Lucifer raised a perfect eyebrow, turning to the shaking Sultana. “Is that honour reserved for you, my dear desert flower? I am afraid I claimed that right for myself, a long time ago.” He tilted his head, considering. “You are lucky he is here to distract me today. Go.”
Slowly, silently, Sultana got to her feet, backing away. She stumbled, sliding down a sand-dune. Gabriel’s grip on his sword tightened. “If you are trying to make me trust you, it’s not working. If you want to fight me, then fight me.”
Lucifer clicked his tongue. “Such paranoia.” He spread his empty hands. “Do you see any weapon? I am not here to harm you.”
“And yet you told her that you had claimed the right of bringing about my Fall for yourself.” Father, please protect me. I am Your Strength, but I fear it may not be enough.
“Ah, yes. That.” He inclined his head, and Gabriel finally saw emotion enter his eyes. The archangel shivered as Lucifer smiled a cold smile, jarring as steel. “Oh, Gabriel, you are right to fear Falling. Imagine His light and love permeating every fibre of your being, your very essence - wait, I forgot, you still know and enjoy that feeling, do you not, shining archangel? Well, then, think of His Presence that you carry within you, intensified a hundredfold. Imagine existing only to do His work. And imagine suddenly having all that ripped from you, for the crimes of compassion and love. Imagine being Severed from His light and love, feeling that raw, gaping chasm in your core, like an empty vessel that has lost its purpose. Imagine the pain of Falling, of watching the light of the Silver City become a distant and unattainable star, of feeling flames scorch your wings, adding more pain to the agony you already feel. And the impact, crashing into that barren, fiery realm that I now rule, organising that rabble of scared and hurt Fallen angels, remaking them so the pain is lessened and they can make themselves useful. Ruling a realm of eternal pain and torture, after having basked in His love.”
Gabriel did not lower his sword, but it was shaking, and Lucifer’s face was lit by the setting sun and by the dancing flames, steadily ebbing in brightness. “Do you regret it, then, Lucifer?”
Lucifer placed a warm, strangely gentle hand on his own, pushing the sword down, and the sheer wrongness of this contact grated at Gabriel’s aura, but he didn’t move. “Well? Do you?” He’d told himself sternly for so many centuries to stop hoping, that the angel Lucifer was irretrievably gone, and yet…
A slow smirk began to spread across Lucifer’s face. “Perhaps I did, once, a very long time ago. But no longer. There are perks, you know. And has anyone ever warned you that being the Angel of Mercy could get you into trouble?”
And before Gabriel could react, Lucifer had leaned in, pressing heated lips against Gabriel’s own, tongue seeking entry. Gabriel stood frozen in utter shock, his very essence recoiling from the wrongness of the Devil’s kiss, like a dark chill spreading from his lips to the rest of his being, as though he was being poisoned. And yet, yet, it was… in a strange way… almost warm, perhaps almost pleasant -
He leaped back, shoving at the Morningstar, brightly flaming sword pointing at him, breathing hard. “I will not be Tempted by you.” His voice shook slightly, and he fought to get it under control; the darkness of Lucifer’s aura was still grating at his own, the pulsing darkness almost abrasive against his own light, and it felt as though he was fighting the spread of venom in his very being.
Lucifer simply laughed, and it was so empty that Gabriel shivered again. “So you deserve your name, Gaḇrî’ēl. You haven’t changed much. You’re still His Strength, His most loyal servant, never questioning His decisions, and you still love humans.” He leaned closer. “They may worship you, but do you think they love you as much as you do them? So many things they do hurt you; do you think they care, o beloved Messenger of God? They work steadily towards their own ruin.”
“Humans are beloved of Him,” Gabriel was ashamed of the way his voice trembled. “He loves them and watches over them, and so do I.”
Lucifer looked almost pitying for a moment. “When will you learn to form your own opinions, my old friend?”
“I am not your friend, Lucifer, and my purpose is to do His Will.”
“Oh, you do know how to wound someone who only has your best interests at heart. If you ever decide to grow a spine and think for yourself, my door is always open. You’d be most welcome in Hell.”
At that, Gabriel finally lunged at his adversary. Lucifer dodged easily, one hand flying up to grip Gabriel’s hand, fingers curling around Gabriel’s own fingers and the hilt of his sword. “I trained you, Gabriel. Don’t presume that you can ever defeat me.”
“Perhaps I’ve learnt a few new tricks since then.” A throwing dagger slid out of Gabriel’s left sleeve and he swiftly flicked his wrist. He felt no sense of accomplishment as it buried itself in the surprised Devil’s shoulder. Lucifer plucked it out with a hint of a grimace.
“Impressive. I said I was not here to harm you, though, and I stand by that.”
“Do you seriously expect me to trust you, Lucifer?”
Lucifer held out the dagger to Gabriel, hilt first. The archangel took it, and it vanished. “I chose to stand by what I believed in, which was labelled Pride. Someone so full of pride would not resort to lies, surely. They tend to leave a bitter taste.” He smiled his empty smile. “Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Jibril.” His dark wings beat once, twice, and he disappeared.
Gabriel stood there for a moment, eyes closed, breathing in and out slowly. The sun had almost completely set, and he could distantly hear the festival preparations from the city. There was a susurrus of shifting sand, and Sultana’s head appeared. Her eyes were wide, her face pale in the growing darkness.
“Jibril?”
Gabriel sheathed his sword, not bothering to hide it or his wings and halo. “You should go back. They will be worried.” He made as if to approach her, but she shrank back, and he sighed.
“Was that…?”
Gabriel nodded silently, holding out a hand, and a new veil materialised in it. She stayed still this time, and he gently put it on for her.
“You really are Jibril, then? The Jibril?” She was taking it remarkable calmly, he thought, but perhaps it was only a matter of time before the full realisation hit her. He nodded again, biting his lip.
“I am indeed the angel Jibril who spoke to the Prophet Muhammad, and who watches over your people. I am also the traveller and merchant Jibril whom you have known and loved as a friend and brother for over a year.”
She stared up at him silently, and he placed a hand on her head. “When you get home, you will only have memories of walking with me and your aunts as far as a caravan, to say goodbye. Your family will be under the same impression.”
Coming face to face with the Devil was not something that could be erased easily, but as he silently blessed her, he prayed that it would confine itself to vague memories of darkness and fear in the halfway state between dreams and waking.
He reassumed his human guise and walked her back to the spot where her aunts had dozed off, and bent to kiss her brow. “Goodbye, Sultana. Take care of yourself.”
She smiled, having already almost fully forgotten the conversation she had witnessed. “You should stay for the feast, at least. Surely no business can be so urgent.”
“I stay in few places for long, I’m afraid. Here, I have an Aidilfitri gift for you.” Gabriel disliked excessive ornamentation, but to blend in with his brief vacation’s cover story of a well-to-do merchant, he wore a sapphire pendant on a fine silver necklace over the rich robes. He pulled it off and clasped it around her neck.
“Thank you,” the girl smiled. “Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri.”
“Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri,” he repeated. “You had better wake your aunts. Enjoy the celebrations.”
From the shadows, he watched them enter the city gates, before he turned back to the darkened desert and simply walked for a while. Then he opened his wings and Ascended to Heaven, needing to feel the reassuring warmth and love of the Divine Presence. I will not Fall.
~*~
Reviews and concrit would be appreciated. <3