A little time...
So finally I have a little time to update while watching Casablanca downstairs with my Mom eating lunch in the other room. My internet in shady as hell so I don't know if this will even go though when I get done typing.
I guess the big news is the ordeal with Dan. As the entire fucking world knows by now I like Dan. And finally now Dan knows I like Dan. He never caught on before that I liked him which begs the question, are most men that oblivious to women being attracted to them? He seemed shocked that a women could find him attractive; which is bullshit because he is extremely attractive, funny, caring, sweet... I could go on for days. The only problem, which I realized when this entire thing started, is that Dan is Alix's best friend. And Dan being the amazing person he is told me that he couldn't date me because it would be wrong since he and Alix were friends. And I respect that, I honestly do. So we reached a compromise, friends with benefits. We did make a list of general rules, since there needs to be at least some guidelines when dealing with shit like this...
1) No talking about Alix when it's not in casual conversation.
2) We both have to be tested for STD's. His exact quote, "I trust you, I don't trust Alix."
3) We tell no one.
4) Because it's for shits and giggles, once one of us gets in to a serious relationship the funs over.
5) No emotional attachment.
I think those are it, but we thought of those over the course of a few days so I could be mistaken.
Even though I'm kinda upset that Dan and I aren't going to have a "real" relationship, whatever the hell that mean in today society; the more I think about it, the more I don't think I want all that commitment and heartache if something bad was to happen between us. So if there are so feelings or emotions involved then no one can get hurt. It will be like my relationship with Alix all over again, but this time I'll actually be attracted to the guy. (Don't to anyone I said that.)
At the same time, Dan said he won't date me because he's friends with Alix. Well, how is "fucking" his ex-girlfriend any less serious then dating his ex-girlfriend? It's beyond me, but whatever helps him sleep at night. So if Alix finds out, which actually its a matter of when not if, he's not going to forgive Dan or let Dan off the hook or even be more understanding for sleeping with me rather than dating me.
But either way, in the end I get Dan. And as selfish as that sounds, for the first time in my life I feel like being selfish when it comes to a relationship. I was a "fuck buddy" because I can and I don't want to feel bad about it.
...We're leaving to go to my cousins house in a bit so I'm not going be going into anymore detail (not that you guys really care about any of this shit).
I guess the big news is the ordeal with Dan. As the entire fucking world knows by now I like Dan. And finally now Dan knows I like Dan. He never caught on before that I liked him which begs the question, are most men that oblivious to women being attracted to them? He seemed shocked that a women could find him attractive; which is bullshit because he is extremely attractive, funny, caring, sweet... I could go on for days. The only problem, which I realized when this entire thing started, is that Dan is Alix's best friend. And Dan being the amazing person he is told me that he couldn't date me because it would be wrong since he and Alix were friends. And I respect that, I honestly do. So we reached a compromise, friends with benefits. We did make a list of general rules, since there needs to be at least some guidelines when dealing with shit like this...
1) No talking about Alix when it's not in casual conversation.
2) We both have to be tested for STD's. His exact quote, "I trust you, I don't trust Alix."
3) We tell no one.
4) Because it's for shits and giggles, once one of us gets in to a serious relationship the funs over.
5) No emotional attachment.
I think those are it, but we thought of those over the course of a few days so I could be mistaken.
Even though I'm kinda upset that Dan and I aren't going to have a "real" relationship, whatever the hell that mean in today society; the more I think about it, the more I don't think I want all that commitment and heartache if something bad was to happen between us. So if there are so feelings or emotions involved then no one can get hurt. It will be like my relationship with Alix all over again, but this time I'll actually be attracted to the guy. (Don't to anyone I said that.)
At the same time, Dan said he won't date me because he's friends with Alix. Well, how is "fucking" his ex-girlfriend any less serious then dating his ex-girlfriend? It's beyond me, but whatever helps him sleep at night. So if Alix finds out, which actually its a matter of when not if, he's not going to forgive Dan or let Dan off the hook or even be more understanding for sleeping with me rather than dating me.
But either way, in the end I get Dan. And as selfish as that sounds, for the first time in my life I feel like being selfish when it comes to a relationship. I was a "fuck buddy" because I can and I don't want to feel bad about it.
...We're leaving to go to my cousins house in a bit so I'm not going be going into anymore detail (not that you guys really care about any of this shit).