Title:Phantom Faces at the Door
Author:
paopu_parachutePairing(s)/Character(s):Sirius Black, Tonks, Molly Weasley, Remus Lupin, Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter
Rating:G
Prompt #:M35
Word count:3700
Summary:Sirius may be gone, but inside 12 Grimmauld Place, it almost feels like he never left.
Warnings: Highlight to read *Just canon character death & Sirius’ mum’s portrait *
Disclaimer:No copyright infringement intended. All characters, names, and places belong to J.K. Rowling and associates.
A/N:This fic was almost like a therapy session thirteen years in the making, but I enjoyed writing it immensely & I got to play around with things I’ve never written before which was so fun. Thanks to N for the beta and to the mods for being patient and running this fest!!
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AO3 LINK)
Tonks stormed up the stairs, her hair a fiery red. She didn’t stop until she was face to face with the door of Sirius’ childhood bedroom, the farthest she could storm before she was tearing into the attic. Sighing, she crossed her arms over her chest and tried to get her temper under control.
Footsteps sounded from inside the room and, for just a moment, she let herself pretend he was still here. His jokes were quick and vicious but they still diffused the tension. His absolute distrust of Severus made her feel like her mistrust was valid. He fought for Harry, let everyone know that while he was still a child, he couldn’t be shielded from this. His age meant nothing when he was actively being hunted down.
Tonks opened her eyes--the footsteps weren’t stopping--and knocked on the door. The footsteps went silent at that and so she asked, “Hello?”
There was no response and she cracked open the door, the room was empty. “Sirius?” she whispered, looking around. Silence was her only response and she felt so stupid for asking. As if he’d ever willingly come back here. As if he’d give up an afterlife with his friends. Nevertheless, she scanned the empty room again, “your mate is being a right foul git. If there’s anything you can do to get his head out of his arse that’d be great.”
She took a deep breath and then shut the door, feeling considerably calmer. She knew he wasn’t here; he was barely here when he walked these halls, but she could still feel him as she descended the stairs. She had all but run to him when Remus was being ridiculous with his self-sacrifice in the face of her sincerity.
It was time for her to get out of Grimmauld Place.
*
Molly elbowed opened the door to the bedroom Ron and Harry had stayed in during the time they spent at Grimmauld Place. There was a Chudley Cannons poster stuck to the wall and candy wrappers scattered on the dull hardwood floor. There was more wealth in the details than in their vault at Gringotts but it didn’t matter because the house was empty and cold. She whispered, “scourgify” over the wrappers and the beds and floors. She would erase every last hint of her children from this place. The Chudley Cannons poster was destroyed, burnt up and swept away.
As she went through the closet to make sure there wasn’t a spare Gryffindor tie left amongst the old coats and ridiculous pureblood finery her children found too amusing to bin, she couldn’t stop from picturing the great tapestry in the other room. The burn marks haunted her some nights when she thought about Percy.
No ties. She continued to clean the room, she was so much like the woman downstairs. Both of them had scrubbed their children from this flat, both had sons who disowned them. Did the fact Sirius still had a room here mean she had hoped her son would someday return? Percy’s room sat untouched for the most part at the Burrow. Once or twice someone from the Order slept in there when there were no other rooms, but Percy always hated people going through his things so Molly made sure it was only used if there was nowhere else for them to go. She had to believe her son would come back to them.
Sirius hadn’t. Sirius had never come back to his family. Molly knew it was ridiculous and not at all comparable but...what if Percy never came back either. In a way they were similar, they both blindly trusted in people, Sirius in his friends and Percy in the Ministry. Both of them were led by things that made them irrational, Sirius had his vengeance, the downside to his fierce loyalty and Percy with his ambition. She had been so proud of him in school for becoming Head Boy, for getting perfect grades.
The door creaked open behind her and she turned quickly. Others were here, scrubbing the Order’s existence from the flat, just in case, but she was still nervous. With Dumbledore gone, the protection on this flat was weakened. It wasn’t safe. The hall was empty and so Molly continued to clean all traces of her youngest son and Harry away.
Sirius had spoken to her about Percy several times, how he was sure he would come to his senses soon and come back home. He had been the one to find her sobbing in the kitchen when she had gone to her son’s flat again and he refused to open the door to her. Did he see her as the screaming portrait in the hall? Would this war force her to empty his apartment as well?
She remembered Sirius’ words well, she remembered the way he sulked around, the way his eyes lit up when Fred and George would show him what they were working on in the shop. He fought for his godson, asked nearly every day if it wasn’t better for him to be here, with people who actually cared for him.
No matter where she looked, she was reminded of him and, maybe it was for the best they were leaving. Molly couldn’t walk these halls without hearing his voice or expecting to see him turn a corner in front of her.
A slip of white from underneath a curtain caught her eye and she picked up the piece of paper quickly. It was a half-written letter to Harry from Ron, detailing everything that had happened the summer of the Dementor attack. She destroyed it silently and then went to take on the next room.
Molly couldn’t help but feel like she was destroying the last of Sirius’ happiness, erasing all traces of his godson and the only friendly faces he had known from this place which must have felt so much like Azkaban.
*
He had gone back after his fight with Harry, of course he had gone back. Harry, Ron and Hermione weren’t there though and Remus walked down the dark halls in silence. There was still food in the pantry and toothbrushes by the sink so it was only a matter of time before they returned.
This house was the only place he had known Sirius-sans-James. They had been friends before they met him, sitting together on the train and never really leaving the other’s side again. They had avoided so many conversations, danced around so many things they had to say.
Once when they were alone, Sirius had sat on the bottom step and cried because he and James thought that Remus might be a traitor, that James and Lily might still be alive if they hadn’t fallen into the same prejudices they had fought all throughout Hogwarts. Remus had spent enough time thinking about what ifs and it wasn’t like he hadn’t spent years believing Sirius had killed their best friend
In front of the great stone fireplace, they talked about Azkaban and living with werewolves. The sickening finality of the moment they found out about James and their relief over Harry. How Remus had been to blindsided by the deaths of three of the people who accepted for who he was to even doubt Sirius’ guilt. The moment he saw that Peter was alive and the moment he realized what he had let happen.
How they were still best friends and would always be best friends no matter the years and the hurt and the betrayal and the mistakes between them. Sirius had told him to ask Tonks out, he had teased him and it had felt so familiar that the lack of James and Peter was almost a real, clawing physical absence.
Sirius had died protecting Harry who was stupid and headstrong and foolhardy just like James, just like all four of them.
Now it was just him and Peter.
The apartment was cold as if some lingering bit of Sirius could read his thoughts. If they had just killed him in the Shrieking Shack...Sirius would still have been confined to these foreboding walls but he would have paid for the years of isolation and solitude. He would have paid for the terrible childhood he had condemned his best friend’s son to.
He could remember when they were kids, Peter smiling at him, telling Remus that as long as they had each other, they’d never be alone. Sirius had laughed, it echoed through the Shrieking Shack, but he had ruffled his hair and passed him the firewhiskey. They had all been so stupid.
It was just Remus left to try to keep James and Lily’s son safe. It was just him to somehow figure out how to raise a child of his own in this war-torn twisted world. He had been so stupid, imagining the future as they took their OWL’s. Never once did he ever imagine something like this. Standing in Sirius’ parents’ home, waiting for James’ son...
“Disgrace...filth of my flesh...blood traitor...vile…”
Remus stood in the doorway to the dining room and turned to look back towards the portrait of Mrs. Black. She was seemingly speaking about Sirius in the dark hall.
For a moment, he half expected to see his friend walk out from the shadows. He craved the relief of seeing him again, to know he wasn’t alone in all of this.
“Blood traitor…” she hissed again and Remus took a step forward, pulling his wand out.
“Sirius?” he asked the apartment, glancing up the stairs and behind him into dining room. “Lumos.”
Light flooded the hall but there wasn’t even a wisp of his friend. Still, his absence got stuck in his throat and Remus wondered if this was how suffocating Sirius felt here.
Instead of waiting for the kids to return, with the portrait of Sirius’ mother whispering hate, Remus stepped outside and apparated to Tonk’s parent’s home. His wife greeted him with a tight hug; they had fought last night, of him going alone, of her wanting to go as well, how they couldn’t force Harry to do something he didn’t want to, how they just wanted this to all be over and for everyone they loved to be safe.
Before Remus could go back, Hestia appeared to tell them that Death Eaters had broken in.
It was ridiculous to think of that building as anything but the Order’s headquarters but still, Remus couldn’t help but feel like another piece of his friend was being ripped from him.
*
Ginny cracked her knuckles and looked around number twelve Grimmauld Place. Harry had been living here for a couple of months now and it still looked exactly the same. With Luna at her side, Ginny had a laundry list of things to get done before her boyfriend returned home from the Ministry.
First of which was getting rid of this screeching portrait. Walburga Black had finally met her match.
They went to stand in front of the portrait and Luna pulled out two sets of earmuffs, they were both charmed to block noise out and Ginny felt so ridiculous putting them on she almost wasn’t bothered by the hate that was spewing from the portrait.
Luna said something that Ginny couldn’t hear and then she was pulling the curtain down from in front of the portrait. Immediately, the woman was ugly faced and screaming. Either this was going to work or the inhabitants of eleven and thirteen Grimmauld Place were about to find out they had a neighbor. Ginny pulled out a vile of a sticky gel she and George had perfected over the past couple of weeks and proceeded to smear it over the frame and surface of the painting as Luna casted charms to keep Walburga inside the frame, to weaken the spells placed on it and to protect the surrounding areas. Once all the gel was in place and Ginny carefully cleaned her hands, Luna casted a shielding spell and Ginny pointed her wand at the now red-faced woman.
“Bombarda Maxima,” she said and a great explosion knocked the both of them back into the wall. Dust hung heavy in the hallway and Ginny slipped the earmuffs off--nothing. “I think it worked.” she whispered, pushing herself off the wall and clearing the air with a flick of her wand.
“Do you think the muggles next door noticed?” Luna asked, testing out how severe the damage had been.
“I don’t think so, all of the spells and charms are still in place.”
“Your parents might have the most protective spells in place.”
“A most impressive feat, honestly.” Scattered on the floor were lifeless bits and pieces of the portrait that had woken her up on more than one occasion with her screeching. Sirius would have loved this. She cleared away the remnants of the painting, feeling as if Harry’s godfather was watching her. Sometimes she felt that way, that Sirius was still here even though it had been years since his death.
Luna started rebuilding the wall and Ginny went towards the room Harry always talked about converting into a room for Teddy when he stayed over. He was still so hesitant about changing anything here but the Blacks were gone from 12 Grimmauld Place and it was time they took the dark and the war with them. It was maddening to sit at the table eating breakfast on the Black’s finest china and feel like Tonks was about to walk into the room. Especially when Teddy wore his hair bright pink.
She thought Harry might feel like Sirius would have been upset with him, moving in and making the place his own, but he would have been the first to transfigure the ceiling and knock down walls. It was more likely he felt like he would be losing him again if he changed things. Which was a silly notion, the Black family tree may have been covered up, but in its place were pictures of Harry, Sirius and Lupin, James and Lily, Harry with her family at Bill’s wedding.
Sirius could never be gone from this house because he’d never be gone from Harry. Wherever Ginny turned, there were reminders of Sirius. On the mantle there was a picture of him during his school days, constantly trying to flirt with someone out of view. James and Lupin were always wrestling, trying to best the other and Peter Pettigrew was in the background, giggling wildly at his friends antics.
The attic had a room for Buckbeak and they were free to come and go as they pleased. Ginny still didn’t know how the muggles had never sighted the hippogriff, she was always waiting for the day she found out Harry had been caught. Mostly because she looked forward to hearing how he was going to talk his way out of it.
The more changes they made to the townhouse, the more she thought of Sirius. Only, it wasn’t the Sirius who was trapped inside these walls, it was the Sirius who laughed and joked and transformed into a dog for a punchline. The Sirius who was in all the photographs framed around the house.
“Ginny--do you think Harry would mind if I put an anti-nargle charm on the closet? I know he’s lost three hats to them already.”
She smiled, transfigured the walls a bright blue and added a couple golden snitches throughout the room before stepping out into the hall, “yeah go ahead.” She turned back towards the room and with a flick of her wand, drew open the blinds and threw the windows open, just because she knew Sirius would have liked it.
*
Sometimes Harry forgot the Order of the Phoenix used to hold meetings in his dining room. Sometimes Harry forgot James Sirius’ room used to be covered in Gryffindor banners and posters of half-naked women and fighter jets. Sometimes he walked through the front hall and didn’t think once of the portrait who would scream hate at everyone passing by.
Sometimes he forgot this home use to be a prison for his godfather.
Ginny had outdone herself this Christmas with decorating the townhouse, there was garland everywhere and Molly had helped string up so many fairy lights they hardly needed to turn lights on. Andromeda and Ginny had both been in the kitchen long before Harry awoke this morning (but not James and Albus, they apparently had been up at the crack of dawn to fawn over their gifts).
This was their last Christmas at Grimmauld Place, with two boys, Teddy and another baby on the way, they were finally making the move outside of London. They had taken most of the spells down around the house and the Ministry had actually been by to inspect a few weeks ago. The house was Officially safe to sell to muggles, which is exactly what Harry felt Sirius would want him to do. They already had buyers--cousins of Percy’s muggle fiancée.
The house changed as he did, Ginny viciously redecorated long before she moved in and they got married, claiming she felt someone was going to walk in on them. Regulus’ room was made into a permanent bedroom for Teddy as he started staying over more and more. Andromeda had a room on the second floor for when Teddy came home from Hogwarts during the winter holidays, it became tradition that his grandmother and him stay with Harry and Ginny. Andromeda told stories of her favorite cousin over tea and they had to warn Teddy--and then James when he came along--to not get any ideas.
Teddy had tried to become an animagus twice so far ‘just to see what would happen’. Sometimes Harry had Mrs. Weasley come over when he, Ginny and Andromeda were exhausted, if she could raise all her children, she certainly could keep Teddy under control (although sometimes Harry got the feeling she was only encouraging him). Once he caught her staring out into the distance in James’ room and when she left it was to go visit Percy who lived just across the city.
They ate off the Black family’s finest china on all but special occasions; Harry wasn’t sure if they were going to take it with them or not. He was seriously considering leaving them with an old book of secret Black family recipes for the new owners.
He was a little worried he was going to lose some of Sirius when he moved but, the memory of his parents, of Remus and Tonks were all still so vivid in their lives. And, Grimmauld Place had changed so much, only the layout resembled the Order’s old meeting ground. No matter where he went, Sirius would go with him.
He remembered being thirteen, for those few golden hours thinking he was about to live with someone who actually cared for him. He was going to finally escape the Dursleys and live with his father’s best friend, his godfather.
Ironically, Dudley, his wife, their daughter and Aunt Petunia visited them a week ago. When their children were born so close together, Harry and Dudley had decided that, since they were the only family they had, it was best if they stayed in touch (Harry took particular delight in this because he was pretty sure Dudley’s daughter was showing beginning signs of magic). Dudley and Aunt Petunia both, even though he told them Sirius hadn’t murdered anyone and that he was long dead, looked around the apartment nervously, like a mass murderer was going to spring from the floorboards and do them in (something had fallen from the closet onto Aunt Petunia though but that was probably more last minute cleaning than Sirius expressing displeasure from the afterlife).
The move was going to be so strange, for the first time he and Ginny would have a place that was entirely their own, the only memories would be the ones they created. It was going to be hard leaving, in a way he got to live with his godfather; he got the life Peter Pettigrew had taken from him. He could scan the dusty albums in the attic and see a tiny Sirius and a tinier Regulus waddling around in front of the fireplace opening gifts in the same spot James and Albus were.
There was a knock on the front door and Ginny shouted that it was probably Bill and Fleur. Even though their home was the smallest, everyone was coming over to celebrate on last Christmas. Arthur had even decided to mark the occasion by injuring his leg at work, thus putting him in a wheelchair like he had been during the first Christmas here, the only Christmas he got to spend with Sirius.
Harry went out into the hall thinking about his godfather and movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention. He glanced and for a moment, he was certain Sirius was staring back at him. He blinked and fixed his glasses and realized it was only his reflection.
His heart was still racing though and the front door opened to revealed George, who was lightly dusted in snow, “you look like you’ve seen a ghost, mate.” he laughed and then stepped aside to let Rose, Victoire and Dominique fling themselves into the house.
“What the hell are you doing here before noon?”
George shrugged and then stepped inside to let the others in. Ron shouldered him roughly but he was smiling, “Rose wanted her favorite uncle--”
Harry gasped dramatically and Hermione and Fleur both laughed and kissed him on the cheek as they passed him.
“So I had to go get him before the sun was even up. We bumped into each other down the street.”
“Rebecca says hello, by the way.” Bill told him, shutting the door.
“He forgot the muggles could see the house and nearly dropped the gifts into the snow.” George told him before he and Bill went to go see the others, “I hope that’s your cooking I smell, Andromeda, and not Gin’s--”
“You alright, mate?” Ron asked, shedding his winter clothes.
“Sirius would have loved seeing the house like this.”
Slowly, Ron stuffed his jacket and battered Gryffindor scarf into the hall closet. He turned and smiled at Harry sadly, “yeah, he would have.”
“Daddy! Hurry up! Aunt Fleur said she got me something really good but I can’t open until you and Uncle Ron get in here!” James bellowed and Ron turned to look at Harry evenly as they walked into the other room.
“I’m sneaking off for a nap as soon as possible and I expect you’ll cover for me.”
They passed a picture hanging in the hall of Sirius and Lily laughing as James chased a baby Harry around on a broom, “yeah, of course.”