Fic: The First Drop of Rain (Sirius/Remus, PG)
Title: The First Drop of Rain
Author: youcantseeus
Pairing(s)/character(s): Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Walburga Black, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew
Rating: PG
Word count: ~2000
Summary: Sirius needs to prove certain things to his mother. Remus is not impressed.
Warnings: Angst, prejudice against half-bloods.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: Just a little something I came up with. I hope you enjoy!
Sirius is sitting in a little café in Diagon Alley with his friends and they’re drinking butterbeers and laughing at Peter’s impression of their former Charms professor. The café is a little more posh than the type that they normally frequent, but James insisted that they needed to branch out a little now that they’re mature men of the world rather than Hogwarts students. Remus sits across from Sirius and they play footsie under the table while Remus shoots Sirius sly smiles.
Just as Sirius is finishing his second butterbeer, his afternoon is ruined when his mother walks through the door. She’s with a couple of her old biddy friends and they’re all decked out in rather formal robes and the traditional tall, pointy hats. Sirius’s friends don’t seem to notice her which isn’t surprising because they can’t have seen her more than a handful of times. She doesn’t seem to notice Sirius as she’s shown to her seat and gives the waiter a curt nod. Sirius hasn’t seen her since he left home two years ago.
Peter moves on to mimicking Professor McGonagall to uproarious laughter from the others, but Sirius can’t seem to find anything funny at the moment. Sirius’s mother has now noticed him - he can tell from the firm set of her mouth, the way her gaze keeps wandering over to their table. When her eyes finally meet Sirius’s, he impulsively leans across the table and kisses Remus full on the mouth.
“Oi!” James says when they pull apart. “Not across the table, you two! You nearly knocked over my butterbeer.”
Remus grins. “What was that for?”
Sirius shrugs, his eyes moving once again to his mother’s table. She now has a derisive smile on her face that Sirius recognizes well. “I don’t know. Just felt like kissing you, I guess.”
“As adorable as you two are, can you try to keep it in your trousers for a while?” James says. “This is a nice place.”
“Sure,” Sirius says, feeling oddly better. He even manages to laugh at Peter’s impression of Dumbledore.
But after about ten minutes, to Sirius’s great surprise, his mother gets out her chair, stands up and comes over to talk to him. Peter abruptly stops his impression of Madam Pomfrey midsentence when he sees her. James’s eyes go wide. Remus doesn’t react in any visible way, but he’s always been the best at hiding his emotions.
“Sirius,” she says.
“Mrs. Black,” Sirius answers.
Her mouth curves into a smile that resembles a grimace. “It is fortuitous that I ran into you today. My husband wishes to talk to you about certain matters. I have no such wish. You should get into contact with him.”
Sirius blinks. “I have no wish to speak to him.”
“That, of course, is your choice.” She doesn’t turn to leave. Instead they just stare at one another awkwardly. Her two friends at the other table are obviously straining their ears to overhear what is being said.
“Oh, do stay and chat awhile, Mother,” Sirius says at last, sarcasm lacing his voice. “You remember James and Peter, right? And this is Remus Lupin. My boyfriend.”
Had they been at home, she’d already be shrieking loudly enough to deafen the house-elves. But her public persona is different and she simply raises one delicate eyebrow.
“Remus’s mother is a Muggle,” Sirius goes on.
“Sirius!” Peter objects.
“What?” Sirius glances at Remus who currently seems to be examining the grain of the table very closely. “He’s not ashamed of it.”
“Amazing the sorts of filth they let into this establishment nowadays. I had no idea. I’ll have to consider taking my business elsewhere.”
“Sirius,” James says, looking from Sirius to Sirius’s mother to Remus who is still staring downwards. “Maybe we should go.”
“Why should we? She’s the one --”
“There’s no need,” she says. “I have no wish to sit in this establishment and watch Sirius shame himself by carrying on with a filthy blooded opportunist.”
There is a moment of shocked silence. Sirius knows why. Even most pureblood bigots aren’t so open about it in public. Sirius’s mother is a special case.
“That’s uncalled for, ma’am,” James says at last.
“I’ll carry on with whoever I want, wherever I want,” Sirius puts in, hotly.
Sirius’s mother sniffs. “I’m leaving.”
“I’m sure we’ll all be thrilled to see you go,” James replies. His face is slightly red and he grips his butterbeer tightly.
Sirius reaches forward to grab Remus’s hand. Remus allows this, but he doesn’t look at Sirius, doesn’t squeeze his hand as Sirius had expected. Sirius’s mother strides back to her table, her heels clicking against the floor. She speaks to her two friends and they almost immediately rise and leave. Sirius breathes a sigh of relief. Remus drops his hand.
“Whoa, that was insane,” Peter says.
“Reminds me of my childhood,” Sirius says.
James shakes his head. “If she hadn’t been an older lady and your mother, then I would have hexed her. Are you okay, Moony?”
“I’m fine,” Remus mutters, but he doesn’t look it. His face is very pale, his eyes inscrutable. “Excuse me, I need some air.” He stands and quickly makes for the door.
James looks at Sirius and raises his eyebrows. “I guess I should go after him?” Sirius asks.
“I’d say so,” James replies after sharing a long look with Peter.
Sirius finds Remus leaning against the brick wall outside, lighting a cigarette. He looks at Sirius and then away from him, his mouth forming into a thin, tight line. Remus isn’t the sort of person who is open about his feelings, but in years that they’ve been friends and the months they’ve been dating, Sirius has learned to read his facial expressions well enough.
“You’re angry,” Sirius says.
Remus shrugs and looks at the passing wizards and witches. It’s beginning to look like rain. “No,” he says in a clipped sort of voice.
“You’re angry at me?” Sirius guesses.
“No,” Remus says, but he blows a plume of smoke out of his mouth in a harsh, even huff.
“Bollocks,” Sirius says. “Why can’t you ever just be honest with me?”
Remus taps his cigarette and hot, burning ashes fall the ground and blow about Sirius’s feet. He waits for several agonizing seconds before replying. “Okay. I’ll be honest with you. I don’t appreciate you using my blood status to piss off your mother.”
Sirius is stunned that Remus admits to being angry and even more stunned at the reason for his anger. “I - I wasn’t using your blood status to piss her off. I just wanted to show you that I’m not ashamed for her to see us together.”
Remus smiles, ruefully. “And why should you have to show me that, Sirius? Why would I assume that you’re ashamed of me?”
“You wouldn’t. But she would. You don’t know what it’s like to be raised by someone like that - my mother and her stupid, old biddy friends would assume that my relationship with you would be something that I would want to hide.”
“And you wanted to show her otherwise. Which means that you kissing me in the café wasn’t about you and me at all; it was about you and your mother.”
It sometimes takes a lot of effort to understand what’s going on in Remus’s mind. He thinks about the world in a way that is fundamentally different from James or Peter who would have understood exactly what Sirius was trying to do in the café.
“Maybe it was a little bit about my mother. Would you prefer that I blush when she brings you up like you’re some dirty secret?”
“Are those my only choices? You’re either ashamed of me or you use me as a cudgel to beat your mother?”
Sirius shakes his head. “So I’m supposed to leave her disgusting world views unchallenged? I thought that’s what we were joining the Order to fight.”
Remus rolls his eyes. “I didn’t want to fight just now. I wanted to have a few butterbeers.”
Sirius doesn’t understand Remus sometimes. He’s the only one of the Marauders who isn’t a pureblood, but he’s also often the one who seems the least interested in challenging prejudiced pureblood viewpoints. “So you just want to me allow my mother to say whatever she likes about you?”
Remus shakes his head. “I don’t want you to drag me into your arguments with your family at all. Practically the first words out of your mouth were that my mother is a Muggle. That’s not normal, Sirius. In there, you got to stand up for me and pat yourself on the back for being an enlightened, progressive pureblood. You got to assure yourself that you’re nothing like your parents. You’re dating a half-blood. And a werewolf. Good for you. Meanwhile, I got called ‘filth’ in front of a whole restaurant full of people. ”
“Oh,” Sirius says.
Remus throws his cigarette to the ground and stamps it out under his foot.
“No one heard, I think,” Sirius says, quietly.
“Everyone in that café was listening.”
Sirius doesn’t think this is true, but he doesn’t object. “No one would agree with her, anyway. At least, no one who matters.”
Remus shakes his head and looks at the sky. A single drop of rain falls onto his forehead and slides down his nose. “Merlin, Sirius. Don’t you get what the war is about? Lots of people agree with her. That’s why Voldemort has supporters. And it does matter what those people think. I know you can ignore it, but I can’t. Anyone in that place could end up interviewing me for a job someday and remembering me as some half-blood who Walburga Black humiliated in a nice café in Diagon Alley.”
“They say Voldemort is a half-blood.”
“They say a lot of things about him. No one knows what’s true.”
A cold breeze cuts through the air. Sirius sticks his hands in his pockets to guard against it. “Come back inside. I’ll buy you another butterbeer.”
Remus shakes his head. “I think that I’d better head back to our flat. I’ve got a job interview tomorrow morning.” He smiles without humor and turns to leave.
“Moony,” Sirius says. Remus turns and looks at him expectantly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you or hurt you with what I did in there.”
Remus lets out a long, slow breath. “It’s okay. I didn’t want to have an argument.”
Sirius chances a grin. “You never do.”
“I know that you can’t help the way that your family thinks.”
“I can’t. I just - I’m sorry. But we can’t start tearing each other down what with the war and everything. We’ve got no hope if we start doing that.”
“You’re right,” Remus concedes. Then, he reaches out and takes Sirius’s hand in his own, gripping it tightly. His fingers are like ice. He brings Sirius’s hand to his lips and kisses it. His lips are nearly as cold as his fingers. “I’ll see you back at our place, okay?”
Sirius nods and then watches as Remus walks down the street and disappears around the corner. He stares down the street for far too long, Remus’s brief absence thundering against his heart as keenly as if they’ve been separated for years. Despite his boyfriend’s easy forgiveness, Sirius can’t shake the feeling that their relationship has lost something that will be difficult to get back. He considers lighting a cigarette, but decides against it. The rain begins to fall and Sirius shivers, the cold of it going to his very bones. He turns to go back inside where James and Peter are waiting.