emotion????
Hmm, so after telling my mom about China, I mentioned to her stuff that happened with my roomate. Yeah, did not expect my mom to yell at me for letting people walk all over me. I wasn't too aggravated about her yelling at me for that, because even my friends yell at me for lacking a spine (yeah Ana, so when are you going to give me my bitch lessons?).
But the interesting part is the conversation we had after the spineless one. My mom says I'm way too unemotional and detatched. I think it's been a couple of months since I told my parents that I loved them. I practically don't even talk to my parents anymore, minus the "good morning" "I'll be home by 5" "yeah, I'm taking out the garbage" sorta things.
But of course, my little brother has to show me up completely and make me look like the bad child. He's like the total opposite of me, just to shove it in my face. He does everything I don't, he hangs out with my parents all the time, talks to them, tells them that he loves them, he shows emotion, yadda yadda. Arg, that just aggravates me that he does that, just to prove he's the 'better' child of us two.
And my mom thinks it's unhealthy that i'm unemotional to the point that I don't even show anger or sadness. Yeah, the anger things ties in with the "letting people walk all over me" bit, but the sadness thing...hmm..I guess it's because I view people who cry for stupid reasons as weak. Stupid things to cry about in my mind: bad grades (get over it, you can always pull your grade up, it's not the end of the world), boyfriends (you seriously think you're going to marry the guy you're with now? You date someone knowing you'll break up sometime, at least in high school that's how it is), friends (if your friend says something mean to you, suck it up, and go talk to them, crying doesn't do anything to solve it), and to get something you want (we all know what i'm talking about on this one). Ok, so I've cried about some of the stuff mentioned above, but at least I don't cry in public to get some sort of pity, and I don't go telling the world that I was crying. (sorry, I'm a bit pissed at the moment, that could be why I sound so mean).
Ok, so that was my rant, I was on invisible most of the time tonight/this morning because I really didn't feel like talking to anyone. Though Joey figured that out, and we're talking now. Sigh. Didn't want to burden anyone in specific with my problems, so I decided a blog will do, since it's been a while since I've ranted. I don't even know if what I typed makes sense/anyone will understand it because they're not in the same position as me, but it cleared my mind up a bit.
But the interesting part is the conversation we had after the spineless one. My mom says I'm way too unemotional and detatched. I think it's been a couple of months since I told my parents that I loved them. I practically don't even talk to my parents anymore, minus the "good morning" "I'll be home by 5" "yeah, I'm taking out the garbage" sorta things.
But of course, my little brother has to show me up completely and make me look like the bad child. He's like the total opposite of me, just to shove it in my face. He does everything I don't, he hangs out with my parents all the time, talks to them, tells them that he loves them, he shows emotion, yadda yadda. Arg, that just aggravates me that he does that, just to prove he's the 'better' child of us two.
And my mom thinks it's unhealthy that i'm unemotional to the point that I don't even show anger or sadness. Yeah, the anger things ties in with the "letting people walk all over me" bit, but the sadness thing...hmm..I guess it's because I view people who cry for stupid reasons as weak. Stupid things to cry about in my mind: bad grades (get over it, you can always pull your grade up, it's not the end of the world), boyfriends (you seriously think you're going to marry the guy you're with now? You date someone knowing you'll break up sometime, at least in high school that's how it is), friends (if your friend says something mean to you, suck it up, and go talk to them, crying doesn't do anything to solve it), and to get something you want (we all know what i'm talking about on this one). Ok, so I've cried about some of the stuff mentioned above, but at least I don't cry in public to get some sort of pity, and I don't go telling the world that I was crying. (sorry, I'm a bit pissed at the moment, that could be why I sound so mean).
Ok, so that was my rant, I was on invisible most of the time tonight/this morning because I really didn't feel like talking to anyone. Though Joey figured that out, and we're talking now. Sigh. Didn't want to burden anyone in specific with my problems, so I decided a blog will do, since it's been a while since I've ranted. I don't even know if what I typed makes sense/anyone will understand it because they're not in the same position as me, but it cleared my mind up a bit.