stagnant
Time has been kind to me perhaps as of late, but for some reason I cannot help but think it has also been stagnant. I have my love returned to me, and this is good. However, it is also the only real joy I have, so I wonder if I even have a need to be here anymore.
I feel a sick stagnant feeling deep inside my soul. The last time I felt this, was before I left to hunt General Beatrix, several years before the war that nearly destroyed us. I don't know why I remember this when I have forgotten else that was equally important, but I do. I've had this feeling before, and it has yet to be wrong. Something horrible is going to happen.
I cannot leave her again, though, that is out of the question. I have a horrible impending fear, a fear that I will leave her one day to never see her again. Leaving before did no good to either me or Burmecia, things happened as they did and perhaps could not have been changed.
I may leave again, but I will most certainly take her with me. I will not forget her again; that is my oath.