Today
I don't know why, but i feel extremely compelled to write today. My emotions are out of control. I haven't showered in a week. I haven't felt whole for a couple months now. I am sad. I feel like i am a lesser human. I wonder why I do the things I have done. I wonder why I get so angry sometimes, and why I lash out. Why I cry over other people's lives, and why I feel like I'm trying so hard, yet I am not trying at all. LIFE IS HARD. Situations and circumstances are our fate. LIFE IS NOT FAIR. I don't feel I can make any person on this earth understand who I am. Do I even know who I am. No. I try and try and try, and nothing happens. Possesions stay still. Money drains away. My body breaks, and my spirit fades. I know my man loves me. I know my mamma does too. But I can't seem to love what I've come to. I can't seem to hold on to myself. I DON'T TRUST LIFE. I don't trust anything. I'm not always like this. My heart beats warm, but too often turns cold as stone. Somebody bring me some red wine. To ease my pain, and just fade time. I can't seem to stay the same. I can't find shelter from this heavy rain. Where does the answer lie. Where is my soul meant to fly. This is me crying. This is me dieing. This is just too hard. Please don't deal me, my last playing card. I've got alot of love to give. I just want you to see, I give you my world. I give you my heart. Please don't tear it apart.