HMD: Constructive Criticism

[thepull_mods]

This post is for offering constructive criticism to fellow players regarding how they play their characters in Siren's Pull

Comments

[pullsheavendown]

Player Name: Jaina
Character Name: Roxas
Character Journal: pullsheavendown
Character Canon Source: Kingdom Hearts

[dancing_pierrot]

Player Name: Tash

Character Name: Franziska von Karma
Character Journal: whip_the_fools
Character Canon Source: Ace Attorney

Character Name: Shuji Ikutsuki
Character Journal: rodeforthefall
Character Canon Source: Persona 3

Character Name: Tyrell
Character Journal: tinderfoot
Character Canon Source: Golden Sun

[walkthedawn]

Player Name: Kal
Character Name: Riku
Character Journal: walkthedawn
Character Canon Source: Kingdom Hearts

Character Name: Re-l Mayer
Character Journal: proxysearch
Character Canon Source: Ergo Proxy

Character Name: Minako Arisato
Character Journal: foretells
Character Canon Source: Persona 3

[madeinoblivion]

Player Name: Kelly

Character Name: Daedalus Yumeno
Character Journal: gaveherwings
Character Canon Source: Ergo Proxy

-Daedalus has been getting relationally...complicated, so I appreciate any/all commentary crit on how he's developing. Also, if I need to make any changes to how I'm playing out his doctoring.

Character Name: Replica Riku "Joe Fieldman"
Character Journal: madeinoblivion
Character Canon Source: Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories

-I'd love some ideas for how to mature this guy. Especially because he's a bit Tubthumping about hard knocks (butIgetupagain), so those lessons don't always seem to stick. Longer term guilt and some steering is better.

[underachieves]

Player Name: Pana

Character Name: Shikamaru Nara
Character Journal: underachieves
Character Canon Source: Naruto

Character Name: Madara Uchiha
Character Journal: forefather
Character Canon Source: Naruto

[revengeisbitter]

ALRIGHTY. I'm too lazy to comment here and to the Poscrit so I just want to say first off that I like the layers you've brought to Shikamaru. Not a lot of people I've seen have been able to capture that about him-- They just sort of Flanderize him, if that makes sense? So mad props.

That's where it falls short, though. I kind of want to see a little bit of those traits that make Shikamaru unique-- Namely, how lazy he is, how much of a complainer, how unmotivated he tends to be. He's a stoic, yes, but not in an angsty sort of way... it's more like he just doesn't give a shit. I know your Shika's from a previous game, so he has plenty of development from it, so I understand how that might change how I'm reading him. And I know that you and I haven't threaded much (sadly D:). So disregard this if I'm off the mark. :D BUT OTHERWISE. GREAT JOB. I HOPE THIS MADE SENSE.

[underachieves]

IT MADE COMPLETE SENSE. Thank you so much. This has actually been a concern of mine. It's not really his NG history that's done this to him (actually, I used to get the opposite crit for him there... because he was such a lazy fuck-up and never stepped up to do anything for so long) but he's been in SP since May and... well, a lot of shit's happened

[revengeisbitter]

You're very welcome. 8) I hope we can write some more in the future. I'm at a loss because... I want to write with Madara, but I DON'T want Sasuke knowing the truth about the Uchiha (I took him before that point in canon for a reason) so...CONFLICTED.