Comments | sirenspull_logs: And you said it was like fire around the brim

fireintwilight in sirenspull_logs

And you said it was like fire around the brim

Jul 13, 2010 22:25

Who: Axel, Xion
When: Tuesday evening
Where: Sector 4
Summary: Axel and Xion meet, and Axel remembers
Warnings: None

( Like stars burning holes right through the dark )

†: axel, xion

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chisonooggi July 14 2010, 02:37:15 UTC

She wasn't very far from where Roxas and Joe lived right now; she was scared that if she left, they wouldn't be there when she got back. Like one of her bad dreams where no one ever saw her. She didn't know what to make of everything. It was all too confusing right now, with the Organization members around, and Riku was here, and then someone who was like her, except he looked like a young Riku.

And Sora. Sora was here too, and he had talked to her, and she had talked back, but when he tried to see who she was, she didn't want to see him and turned the camera away. She still thought that maybe she was only here because Sora was here. Did that mean when Sora left, she would have to leave too?

She didn't want to leave Roxas. He said that Axel was here, but she hadn't heard from him, or seen him, or anything. She was hoping to see him, but she didn't want to hurt him. So she was out, looking around in some of the places, looking down alleyways and different places on the street. But that didn't prepare her to actually see Axel. She stopped and stared at him.

"...Axel?"

fireintwilight July 14 2010, 03:05:09 UTC

No. No, it wasn't Roxas. It was a small girl, her face delicate--what he could see of it under the hood, anyway. Why had he ever thought differently?

Pain was like knives stabbing into his skull. If he hadn't known better, he'd have thought it was some kind of attack. But it was just her there, a strange girl wearing an Organization cloak. A girl in a coat, in the shadows, someone like Roxas, the same-- Axel groaned suddenly and clutched his head with both hands, almost falling to his knees from the force of the throbbing, piercing ache in his head and the questions slamming through his mind like bullet trains. He felt the kitten stir in his hood with a sleepy mrow?, surprised by all the jostling about.

"What are you doing to me?"

She said his name. She knew him?

"Who are you?"

chisonooggi July 14 2010, 03:15:47 UTC

Oh no. She didn't mean to hurt him, like she had hurt Roxas when he first talked to her. She didn't know everything that happened, but Joe had been worried. She wasn't sure if she should go help, to do something, or if it would make it worse. But on instinct she was already running to him.

"No! I'm not doing anything, Axel!" She came to a stop before him, a hand to reach out in case he fell to his knees. She had forgotten how tall he was compared to her, though, and she bit her lip.

"I'm. I'm Xion! I don't want to hurt you, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She was shaking, eyes searching his. How was she supposed to know that he didn't see her?

fireintwilight July 14 2010, 23:59:38 UTC

Xion...

His legs gave out, and Axel fell to his knees, clutching at his head. It was so painful. Even more so with her standing right in front of him. It wasn't just the physical headache...he felt assaulted by desperation, regret, guilt. All the things he wasn't supposed to feel, that had plagued him nonetheless when Roxas had been gone, especially when he'd been with Sora. They were as true and painful as they had ever been when the Keyblade master had been near.

Bewildered, Axel looked up at her. This time, he could see her face, her black hair, her blue eyes. Eyes like Roxas's, or Kairi's...eyes like Sora's.

"Xion?"

chisonooggi July 15 2010, 00:55:28 UTC

When he fell to his knees, Xion couldn't keep the horrified expression off her face. What was she doing to him?! What should she do? If she moved, would that make it worse? Or if she said anything, would that stop whatever it was from hurting, or would she just be making things worse?

She didn't want to hurt one of her best friends. She loved Roxas and Axel; why would she want to ever hurt either of them? So if she was hurting him, if it was actually her that was hurting him, should she go?

Maybe she should go. Slowly, very slowly, even while she nodded, she began to inch away.

"Axel?"

fireintwilight July 19 2010, 02:24:38 UTC

"Wait."

Even through the haze of pain and bewilderment and emotions, Axel saw that she was backing away, and staggering to his feet again he caught her arm with one hand. Don't let her go. He remembered...

He remembered a Keyblade in her hand and the chakrams in his, confronting her before the gate of Twilight Town's strange mansion. He'd been so angry, but he didn't know why. Now there was only regret, and none of it made sense at all.

"Who are you?" He hung onto her arm while the strange memories assaulted him like knives stabbed directly into his brain. Bent almost double, fighting against the pain, he nonetheless kept his grip intact. "How do I know you?"

chisonooggi July 19 2010, 02:34:30 UTC

She looked at him with wide eyes, stopping as he kept a grip on her arm. She didn't want to hurt him. She couldn't bring her keyblade out and knock him away, but being near her was hurting him too, she could see that. What was she supposed to do, then?

"We're...we were...friends," She said nervously, not moving away anymore, but she didn't want to touch him either, in case that just hurt worse.

"I'm...I'm Xion."

fireintwilight July 19 2010, 03:04:21 UTC

"We're friends?" Dimly he knew that echoing everything she said was getting them nowhere, but he had never had so much trouble processing basic information before. Then again, attempting to do it through an onslaught of memories and a killer headache--

Fighting her in Twilight Town--not once but twice. Carrying her back to the castle. Roxas telling him that they'd had ice cream together, talking to Saix, realizing what she was--

He let go of her arm, staggering back a step. He knew what she was. He had known for a long time and never told Roxas, even knowing what she was doing to him. They couldn't be friends, Roxas had always been his only friend (except maybe for Saix, once), but she was there, in every memory, every time they had sat on the clock tower and eaten ice cream together, all the times he'd thought it was just the two of them and only now saw how incomplete that picture had been.

How could he have forgotten?

They were friends.

The pain was fading. The incredulity, the overwhelming, staggering sense of guilt was not. It felt like his lungs were being squeezed so that he couldn't get enough air. "Xion..."

It wasn't often that he was at a loss, but now was one of those times.

"Hey."

chisonooggi July 19 2010, 03:13:50 UTC

She wrapped her arms around herself when he let go, looking down at the ground. When was the last time she saw him? He had brought her back. He kept bringing her back all the times she left, but she had asked him to. What had she last said to him?

Axel...don't hold back. Promise.

She bit her lip, continuing to look down at the ground until he said her name, and she looked back up, holding onto herself tighter. Did he know now? Did he know what she did? But she didn't blame him. She had asked for it, and really, he had helped. Even if it didn't feel like it to him.

"Hi, Axel. I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you."

fireintwilight July 19 2010, 03:32:53 UTC

"It's okay. It was nothing." Well, it hadn't been nothing, but it didn't matter. He could feel Winner shifting around in his hood, resettling herself after all the jostling. The sky had grown even darker and he hadn't seen it; the sirens would go off at any moment. The world moved along on its axis; it didn't care a bit about the revelation that had just hit Axel with the force of a locomotive. Only he and Xion understood.

And Roxas, too, he supposed. If he remembered.

"Does Roxas know?" No wonder, Axel thought bleakly. No wonder he'd been so furious. He knew now that neither he nor Roxas had even known the full extent of his anger--he wondered if Roxas remembered, if he hated him now for what Axel had done.

He wondered if Xion hated him too.

I didn't want to hurt you either.

chisonooggi July 19 2010, 03:42:23 UTC

It wasn't nothing, but it was kind of like with Roxas. They needed to talk about it more and it would be bad and it would hurt everyone but that's what they needed, right? She looked back down at the ground.

"Yeah. I spoke on the NV thing and he heard me and then he came to get me. Him and Joe," She said, biting her lip hard and shifting around nervously. Did Axel hate her, now? Now that he knew everything? He might be mad at what she had made him do, but she hoped not. She didn't want one of her best friends to be made at her.

"But they all said that it was okay now. And I talked with Riku, and...and Vexen said something, too, but I don't think I hurt him that much..."

fireintwilight July 19 2010, 23:37:58 UTC

"Oh, they did, did they?" Axel smiled ruefully, rubbing the back of his head. Of course Roxas would say it was all okay. He had never wanted to hear a bad word spoken of Xion, back then; it stood to reason he'd be the same way now. Had he ever come to realize that Xion's very existence was killing him? And what did it mean now that she was back, for Roxas and for Xion herself?

All three of them now--Roxas, Xion and Sora--were here in this city at the same time, apparently whole and well. It made no sense, but then, neither did forgetting one of your best friends and everything having to do with her for a year, only to remember when she appeared before your eyes.

The call of the sirens suddenly shrilled through the air, a clear and unmistakable warning, as the last of the sun's rays disappeared behind the concrete towers. "We'd better get inside. There's too many things that go bump in the night out here." And he wasn't about to throw Xion into harm's way, no matter how good she was with a Keyblade. A quick glance around, and then he hauled open the door to the lobby of some commercial building, before the security system could kick in and lock them out. It'd be safe enough for the moment.

"You can go back to Roxas if you want." Axel held the door and waited, without quite meeting her gaze. "The dark corridors work here."

chisonooggi July 20 2010, 00:42:28 UTC

"Yeah," She said, looking down at the ground. "And everyone told me not to talk about the Organization or anything like that or the...the companies here would do something about it."

Looking up, she sighed softly, about to say something more when the siren call went off, and she jumped, visibly shaken by it. She still needed some time to get used to that, but for now all it did was scare her by surprising her with the sound. She looked at Axel and nodded. She had yet to encounter any of the monsters yet, but she knew that she could handle them if need be. Walking quickly, she went into the building and turned around to watch him close it.

"They do? I wanted to try to make one when I got here, but I didn't want any of the people to see. I guess I can if I want to...right?"

fireintwilight July 20 2010, 01:46:38 UTC

Some tightness in his hollow chest seemed to ease a little when she came inside, and he let the door swing shut behind them both, tripping the lock for good measure. She wouldn't stay if she hated him, right? It wasn't that he was afraid of losing her and Roxas--he was a Nobody, he couldn't be--but it was a scenario he didn't want to contemplate. Forgetting her again, or just...knowing that her friendship was gone for good, because of the things he'd done.

What did he do, what did he say? This was harder even than when Roxas had been so angry at him.

"The companies, yeah. One of them does human experiments, the other makes slaves out of the fine citizens of Siren's Port. I suppose they might decide they want to get their hands on some Nobodies." Axel reached back to his hood and scooped out Winner, who mewed a sleepy protest. He put her down on the lobby floor, and she immediately went over to rub against Xion's legs, purring. "I wouldn't do it out in the open, but yeah, you could. It won't work if you try to get out of the city, though."

chisonooggi July 20 2010, 02:21:26 UTC

She didn't hate him. She never could hate him. He was one of her best friends, and part of the trio that had somehow come together. And even with what she had said to him, didn't she show that she didn't hate him? Xion was so glad that he didn't hate her. She was glad that at least he didn't want her completely gone. Because he seemed mad (he couldn't rally feel mad, could he? But he acted like it) and she knew that it was her fault for him to feel that way.

But as she watched him scoop out a cat from the hood of his coat, she smiled brightly. She got down on her knees to pet the cat gently, laughing when she kept bumping her head against her hand.

"Yeah, that's what they said. But I don't want anymore experiments or anything, so I just have to make sure not to say anything if I talk to people," She smiled, gently stroking the kitten. "That's okay. I don't really want to leave here. If I leave, then I won't exist anymore."

fireintwilight July 20 2010, 02:58:22 UTC

Axel sat down on the floor, cool polished marble; the lobby was dark and empty, cold and elegant. Their voices echoed a little off the ceiling high overhead. He watched Xion play with the kitten, but it was hard to smile even at the sight, when everything was so tangled he didn't know how to begin picking it apart.

"Is that why we all forgot you?" he asked presently, reaching out to run a gloved hand over Winner's sleek back. "'Cause you stopped existing?"

I've decided that I have to go back to where I belong. He remembered her saying that once. He'd told her he thought it was best, which was true, but that it stunk, which was also true. An impossible choice, like trying to choose between two best friends. But had she gone through with it? Had she gone back to Sora?

"What did you do, Xion?"

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