now is the hour, the time when lost souls wander restlessly in the night

[thepull_mods]

Who: Siren's Port
When: The night of Sunday, October 16th into the morning of Monday, October 17th.
Where: In the mind, in the dreams, in the unconscious of the sleepers.
Summary: --
Warnings: These dreams may be considered not safe for work, with violence, gore, death, underlying sexual themes and other mentions of graphic nature. Having them is

Comments

[got_it_memorizd]

[Axel shakes his head.] No, I... I know you know Hollow Bastion. [He thinks he heard that's where you died, but he's not going to say that. His hand swims awkwardly to the back of his neck and he squeezes the tightened tendons there a moment before threading his fingers together in his lap.] It ain't the same, though. Radiant Garden was a cheesy-ass name for a world, but it was still home. The first time I got sent on a mission to 'Hollow Bastion' I thought I was gonna throw up. [He'd been told that the worlds that had been destroyed had been restored thanks to Sora, but Hollow Bastion was not Radiant Garden, no matter how he looked at it.

[He sighs then, avoiding Demyx's eye and frowning at his hands.]

We've had something in common with that place long before now, Demyx. [He gives him a watery smile.] It was the first world to fall. Because that castle is where all the Darkness nonsense started. In a way, it's kind of where we're all from. At least in the form we're in now, anyway.

[He and Isa had snuck into the castle enough to get an idea of what was going on there. Granted, the pieces hadn't really fallen into place until much later, but once things lined up there was no escaping the conclusion.]

[ninthserenade]

Better than bawling like a three-year old. I was sent to Atlantica for the first time in the Organization 'n I went back to my old place and sobbed for like, an hour.

[He gnaws on his bottom lip as he takes in the rest of Axel's words, and he swears his eyes were starting to water. He'd blame it on the lack of sleep, of course.] ...S'their fault, then? The ones in the castle?

[And then he pauses to wipe at his eyes. His voice was still level and even, thankfully.] A-Axel, just who were you looking for?

[got_it_memorizd]

[Axel fidgets--he's not really sure what to say to that. Demyx, you're such a sap. But... well, that's not such a bad thing, he thinks. But then he is slapped with a bit of a dilemma. Does he answer the question completely and tell Demyx that he met some of the founders of the Organization long before he joined it? That he'd been thrown out on his ass by Xaldin and Lexaeus back when they'd worn silly blue uniforms instead of black ones? Back when they'd had hearts? (Not that you'd know...)

[As he wavers on how to respond, though, Demyx asks a new question, and this one catches Axel off-guard, as much as he supposes he should have expected it. He meets his eye, then glances away, scratching his temple absently. It's a nervous habit he's had for years, a fidget when he doesn't want to be honest. He's a pretty good liar, but only when he actually doesn't care about the person he's lying to.

[A sigh, and he can't look Demyx in the eye. He shakes his head.]

Someone I never found.

[And that, at least, is true.]

[ninthserenade]

[Someone he never found.

Why does that make him feel like he was just punched in the kidneys? He wouldn't deny he felt a little... lost and frustrated after experiencing that for 'himself' in that nightmare, but he had gone through similar feelings when one of his friends would disappear courtesy of Ursula, though he had always gotten them back one way or another.

He was pretty quick on his feet--er, fins, back in those days.

But then Axel isn't looking him in the eye and he has to refrain from saying something stupid. So he takes the blanket off himself and drapes it over Axel's body the rest of the way, his hand lingering on his shoulder for a few seconds.]

...You're starting to scare me, dude. You know you can talk to me, right? We're friends, so you know I'll listen no matter how stupid things are.

[got_it_memorizd]

[He doesn't move as Demyx adjusts the blanket. Something in him appreciates Demyx's generosity, he supposes, but he's still not sure how to react to something like this. Once upon a time, Lea might have been open and forthcoming with just what was on his mind, but Axel had never been so candid with his own thoughts. He has always been fiercely guarded, making certain that wall around the more fragile things remains firmly in place.]

May. [It's a gentle correction. Lifting his head a bit, he gives Demyx a look that teeters somewhere between apology and extreme discomfort.] I know I may talk to you. Can implies I'm capable of talking about this kind of crap in the first place.

[He glances away again and kneads his forehead. He's not even sure he's allowed to talk about this. It's Isa he was looking for, after all, what would Sa'x think if he knew he'd told Demyx about that? ... Does he really care what Sa'x thinks? Sa'x never seemed to care much what Axel thought, after all...]

I ain't tryin' to scare you. Is this where I say 'it's not you it's me'? Look, Demyx, I know you'll listen, I'm just bad at talking about myself.

[ninthserenade]

[His face screws up for a moment, and then he lightly shoves at his arm with a gentle smile.] Way to sound like a cheesy romance flick, dude.

[Then the musician focuses on his water glass, tapping his fingers against the side to make small little shapes appear in the water. It's... This whole situation right now feels foreign to him. He knows he experienced it as Myde, but that was so long ago--does he even remember what it was called? It was hard to focus on it with the dream so fresh.]

What about talking about that world? That was the first time I've really uh... Seen it like that.

[got_it_memorizd]

[Axel scoffs indignantly and shoves him back.] Oh shut up, I wasn't even going for cheesy. [His last words--now those were cheesy. But he's not about to put on an encore of those.

[He frowns at his hands a moment longer, then gives Demyx a sidelong look.] I... guess I could tell you about it, if you really wanna know. [A shake of his head.] I mean, structurally it ain't that different from Hollow Bastion... [He manages a faint chuckle, sort of plucking at the blanket draped around his shoulders.] Seriously, dude, we don't have to have like a therapy session or anything; it's not like this still bothers me.

[Well, if that were true he would have just gone back to bed. But... well, it doesn't bother him as much as it used to.]

[ninthserenade]

[Demyx just gives Axel A Look before he huffs, crossing his arms over his chest to glare at the wall.] Seriously, dude, we've known each other for years. I wasn't trying to start a stupid therapy session, I was just trying to show a little compassion for a friend. If it didn't bother you, how come you're up? You didn't really come out here at all the last two nights this has been going on, y'know.

[He pauses, shaking his head slowly.]

Geh... Sorry, again.

[got_it_memorizd]

[Axel inhales as if to posture back, like maybe he's going to insist that his being out here has nothing to do with the dream, that he was awake anyway, that maybe he just wanted some ice cream, but... none of that would be true. He knows Demyx means well--Demyx rarely doesn't mean well--but as if it wasn't enough that Axel had seen that same old nightmare that had haunted him for a decade, now he's supposed to talk about it? Talk about his feelings? Did he even have feelings? He still couldn't decide. It was convenient to say he didn't, that he couldn't, that nothing got to him, but he hadn't really believed it for a long time.

[He sighs, unfolding his legs and propping his elbows on his knees. He really wasn't trying to upset Demyx, he's just really out of his element here. There's a long pause and then he just frowns at his hands.]

Sky was always blue there. [His words are halting, almost terse, but more because this is strange to him than out of any irritation or frustration.] When the sun went down it was like that dye that ain't quite black, ah... indigo? And even when it was pouring down rain, it was never completely grey, there was always blue. [A pause and he furrows his brow.] When I went back, after it became Hollow Bastion... it was like the color was all gone. [He glances at Demyx then, something almost perplexed in his expression.] It's kind of a stupid thing to notice, I guess, but... [A shrug and he goes back to looking at his hands. Well, he's trying.]

[ninthserenade]

Axel, [He starts softly.] ...How 'bout a trade-off? I mean... I ask questions, then you ask some 'n we just kinda babble on 'til we can't do it anymore? Squid-pro-crow or whatever the saying is, right?

[Because just trying to force Axel to talk--he almost felt bad about it. There were things he was reluctant to talk about himself, he realized. This almost seemed like a similar situation.]

Like, uh... I asked you what it was like, so you get to ask or somethin'. I dunno, man. ...The sky thing isn't stupid.

[got_it_memorizd]

Trade-off? [He chuckles helplessly, shaking his head.] It's quid, Demyx... Quid-pro-quo. [Another shake of his head and he looks back down at his hands, still smiling a bit. Demyx really is hopeless.]

I dunno what I'd ask, Demyx. I'm... not really used to this sort of thing, you know? [Another helpless laugh--there's almost something frantic about it, frazzled, worn, spread too thin.] But I guess... if you really wanna know, I could tell you about Radiant Garden and all. I mean, it's not like it's a secret.

[ninthserenade]

Quid, squid, same thing 'cept with an extra letter tacked on. English still isn't my forte, remember? S'pretty much Greek to me.

Might as well be one to me, dude. The stuff I saw in that dream, even if it was all eff'd up 'n stuff was nothing like the one I saw. There... There weren't really any flowers. Hell, the only colors I really seen there was the yellowish sky, purplish-blue rocks, an old rusted up castle 'n then stray bits of green 'n blue on the ground in some areas. Oh, and pipes. I can't forget those. [He pauses and gets up from the couch just long enough to venture into the kitchen to rummage around in the fridge, and then he's coming back with the pizza box from yesterday to drop it down onto the coffee table. And without missing a beat;] S'the best comfort food next to ice cream, man.

[got_it_memorizd]

Right, right, sorry. [He smears the heel of one hand across his eye, something amused in his voice.]

Ah... well, ah... The pipes didn't used to be there. I mean, not as they are now, anyway. There were pipes in the aqueduct--a lot of the town ran on water power. [He manages a sincere grin.] You actually might have liked that part.

[He lifts his head as Demyx gets up, then actually laughs when he returns with leftover pizza. There's something so unsinkable about Demyx, and honestly Axel is grateful for it right now.

[He flicks a finger at the box and it glows with a pale orangey light. Cold pizza might be good under some circumstances, but... right now? Axel's more got a hankering for something warm. He lifts the box lid and lifts a slice for himself and then hands one to Demyx.]

I'd say they're about tied, actually. Cheers.

[And for the first time since having moved in with Demyx, Axel is honestly actively glad he doesn't live alone.]

[ninthserenade]

Nah. I wouldn't have liked it.

[He grins, taking the offered slice and takes a bite.]

I would've loved it. ...S'always been a huge part of my life, but you know that already. Not to mention I dehydrate a lot easier cuz of my element so I can't really stand hot places like Agrabah for too long in our Organization coats. But then running around in the clothing of the locals is kinda weird too even though they're super comfy. As for the opposite of that? Eh... Let's just say I sorta envy you sometimes.

[And then he shakes his head a bit, the crooked grin still in place.]

When you say that though, it kinda makes me wonder what you guys even did--farmers or somethin'?

[got_it_memorizd]

I do know. And... well, I never indulged in a costume change in Agrabah, but I guess you know it never really bothered me. That's why I always traded with you, heh; Atlantica always made me uncomfortable. Never got the hang of that breathing underwater thing...

[And then he snorts a laugh, giving Demyx a shove.]

Farmers? Jeez, no. --Well, I mean, there were some folks who did agriculture, but... not everybody. You make it sound like we were bumpkins or something.

[ninthserenade]

Breathing underwater since I was born, dude. I think that was one of the few worlds I actually got stuff done in just so I could have extra down-time. Remember that "two-week" long mission that was supposed to have been given to someone else, but they shoved it on me? I actually had it done in three days.

[He tips over onto the arm of the couch, lightly returning it with his foot before he rights himself.]

Hey, don't burn the bumpkin life. My old man used to do it for a living.