(Untitled)

May 30, 2011 22:06

Who: leaderly and outbursting
When: Late afternoon May 30th
Where: Souji's starter apartment
Summary: Souji is having Yosuke over for dinner to talk about a few things since he's come to Siren's Port.
Warnings: None!

Mystery Food X: Revamped to be edible! )

yosuke hanamura, souji seta

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outbursting June 1 2011, 01:37:43 UTC
"Well, when they come back, the memories return... then they know that they didn't know anything while there." His shoulders gave a little shrug. It made him wonder about the idea that Rin was onto something. The idea that the Core was doing something to memories or not. He let out a little sigh, but decided that it was best to let that go, too. If he kept second-guessing himself about what was real and what wasn't, he was just going to end up making himself constantly paranoid.

"Hey, man, there's like a lot I have to talk to you about, but I think it's best to do it in like parts." Yosuke decided to start off with saying that rather than just start in on what it was that he wanted to say. "I mean, this is all a lot to take in right now, so if you need more time before more is given ... just lemme know."

Scratching the side of his neck awkwardly, he just wasn't sure where to start, but knew that he had to do that first. His leader was someone that he idolized -- who didn't, though? -- but that didn't mean that he could just keep piling stuff on them and expecting them to always be able to take it. Right?

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leaderly June 1 2011, 01:56:22 UTC
While Yosuke was talking, Souji added the potatoes and spices to the pan, and gave the curry a quick stir. At what Yosuke was saying, he stopped stirring to look at the other, blinked in confusion and put the wooden spoon off to the side. He again turned to fully face Yosuke, leaning against the counter.

He had a couple of questions about the Core, but what the other was saying sounded more important at the moment. His questions could wait. He nodded slowly, a slight frown on his face, noticing how serious and seemingly uncomfortable the other was.

"Tell me as much as you want to tell me," is what he said, but he wanted to know everything. What could he have to say that was making him act this way so suddenly?

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outbursting June 1 2011, 02:08:28 UTC
Where to start now?

He held his chin for a moment as he tried to think of what he should begin with. "You know, I really might be from another world from where you are." Yosuke had talked about this a bit before, but he just couldn't let it go. So, he was not really the same Yosuke that this Souji knew. He suddenly wasn't able to make eye-contact.

"I mean, I mean, you know..." Letting out a frustrated sound, he just decided that he wouldn't keep stumbling over his words. "...it's hard to stare a you, man, and think that we might not be from the same world. But we did have the same experiences with each other, right?"

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leaderly June 1 2011, 02:21:41 UTC
Souji let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding.

"Well...I've thought about that before."

He placed a hand on his hip as he slowly said, "...You know that I can't guarantee that we've had the same experiences. We can sit around and compare them all day, trying to find differences."

He paused.

"Does it bother you a lot?"

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outbursting June 1 2011, 02:36:29 UTC
One of his feet rubbed against the other awkwardly, before he tucked them behind either end of the chair. He wasn't sure if he wanted to sit around all day to just talked about the differences in what they had experienced. It was just not something that he was ready to do -- didn't even want to do it with Kanji.

He shook his head at the offering. "I guess that it does. I mean--" Yosuke rubbed his nose, just needing to do something with his hands. "--you said I didn't let you down. That meant a lot to me, man. It still means a lot to me."

A beat. "But I can't help feeling like one day... I might let you down." There was an awkward smile tossed in, like he was trying to laugh about these concerns. "'Cause I might not be your Yosuke."

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leaderly June 1 2011, 03:00:27 UTC
Souji knew that Yosuke took what he said pretty seriously, but hearing him admit it like that made it seem more real. He felt an odd sort of clutching at his chest that he knew wasn't because of the Pull. It was...almost a sort of guilt that Yosuke put so much into his words.

He looked straight at the other, replying quietly, "You're still yourself." These words echoed somewhere in his memory. He had said them to Yosuke after facing his Shadow. His Shadow was just another part of Yosuke, and Souji had accepted that side of him without issue. He didn't understand why a few possible differences that may not even exist between their worlds would bother his best friend so much.

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outbursting June 1 2011, 03:06:15 UTC
His shoulders shook a little before he lowered his head. He wasn't able to look at Souji then when he said something so simple to all his concerns. It was ridiculous to feel so at ease and consoled with those words. There was a rush of embarrassment that burned across his face when he thought of how silly that he was being.

"How is it that you always know what to say, man?" He smiled weakly, before letting out a soft laugh. "And you best start checking what you're cooking or we really will have Mystery Food X."

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leaderly June 1 2011, 03:21:27 UTC
Without realizing, Souji had reached a hand out towards Yosuke. He stopped himself and lowered his hand back down to his hip. He stood there for a bit, just quietly looking at the other.

"Will it bother you if there are differences though?" Obviously Yosuke had been stewing in this for a bit. One sentence of his wasn't going to clear away all that troubled the other about this subject.

At Yosuke's prompting, he laughed a little, despite the seriousness of the conversation and checked the pan; he was glad he did, because it was right about time to start making the roux, which he began to do in a separate pot. Once he had all the ingredients in the second pot, he began to stir, looking over at Yosuke, watching him carefully.

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outbursting June 1 2011, 03:31:29 UTC
"Kind of, yeah." He nodded once.

Yosuke looked up finally, happy that Souji was mostly focusing on cooking. Or at least, that was what he was telling himself so that he wasn't worrying their leader too much. His shoulders gave another shrug, then chastised himself about it. He really needed to stop shrugging.

"I mean, it's like, I dunno... the idea that there's a person that's me and isn't me. I'd feel like I was their Shadow or something." His lips pressed together for a moment, then. "Kanji -- the Kanji before -- said that he didn't see me that way ... that he would vouch for me when we got back, but the back that I'd be would there really be another Yosuke there?"

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leaderly June 1 2011, 03:59:44 UTC
Souji took out a ladle, ladled some of the water from the first pot into the second pot and began stirring the roux into the water.

"Siren's Port really starts to make you think about the multiple universes and timelines theory," he mused as he continued to stir. When the roux/water mixture was smooth, he dumped that into the first pot with all of the meat and vegetables in it, stirring.

He sighed a little. "I understand what you're saying but...there's not really much you can do about it though. Has there ever been a case where two of the same people from different universes or timelines were together here at the same time?"

Souji lowered the heat, letting the curry simmer a little longer. The rice that had been cooking on the back burner seemed to be done, so he turned it off of the heat.

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outbursting June 1 2011, 04:44:55 UTC
"I guess there isn't." All he could do about it was just worry and talk about it ad nauseum. He'd been talking about it for so long that he wasn't sure if he was even getting anywhere other than deeper into that hole rather than climbing out of it.

"I haven't hear of that, no." A beat. "Guess the world would just implode if that happened, or something. But I dunno, man, if I came back with you ... would that mean that Yosuke would be negated so I could live there?" Now, that was a rather depressing thought. He really also needed to stop thinking of himself as that one and this one. Hadn't Souji just said that he was himself.

"Sorry, man. That's not helping much of anything." He sighed long, hard. "I am me. That's just how it is. I'm me. There isn't any other one but me. So that's it. That's all that I have to accept, right?"

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leaderly June 1 2011, 11:30:42 UTC
Souji gives the curry one last stir and turns the burner off, pulling two plates down from the cupboard. He dishes out half of the rice from the pot onto a plate and spoons out some of the curry on the other side of the plate. Grabbing a spoon, he places both in front of Yosuke, going back to get himself some.

Looking up from the stove, his plate full in hand, he said, "If it's never happened before, maybe the Core is incapable of bringing two of the same person here at once." He stood in front of his chair, forgetting to sit down right away as he thought. Without looking at the other, he also said, "We also might not have control of where we go after this--together or separately." Souji finally remembered to sit down and got himself situated in his seat.

He looked up at Yosuke, shaking his head a bit. "You don't have to apologize, especially since it's been bothering you. I wish I knew more to help, but for now, just know that you're...just Yosuke." He nodded as he said this, almost affirming his thoughts to himself.

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outbursting June 1 2011, 18:41:19 UTC
"Yeah, guess that's true." If he went back to his own world, to that time, he prayed that he would have the memories to know that he had done the wrong thing. That he shouldn't have shoved Namatame into the television. Yosuke admitted to the fact that he let his emotions get the better of him. And it was rare to see that Souji also was just as upset as he was. But, could Adachi really be the killer? He just couldn't see it. Maybe in that Souji's world, but in his?

Yosuke had been watching him since that Souji mentioned it, but nothing really came out of it. Adachi didn't do anything other than be that same bumbling detective, until the day that he disappeared from the City. Unless, he was hiding out somewhere, but that seemed just weird. "Anyway, I just have to keep reminding myself of that ... it's about as hard as it is to keep thinking of that Shadow as me. I know I accepted it, but it did take me awhile to completely accept it."

It was a bit of a fishing expedition to see if Souji had that memory of all the talks that the two of them had riverside and throughout Inaba.

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leaderly June 1 2011, 22:58:53 UTC
He nodded slightly, putting some curry on the rice. "I remember," he said simply.

Souji understood what the other was talking about and yet he couldn't be bothered with it. There had been another him before now and while he didn't know much about what he was like, he knew that that Souji was him and that if he was different because of something different that happened in his timeline, that meant he was capable of acting that way too. No matter how he looked at the situation, he knew that other Souji was a part of him and would accept that fact.

Souji stopped playing around with his curry for a second, eyes going back up to Yosuke (his eyes had unfocused while he was thinking), now with a bit of realization in them.

"Does this have to do with when I was here last time?" It was his other self that had said what was bothering Yosuke, and though he had said that Yosuke had never let him down and that he accepted his other selves (wherever they may be in time or space), he wasn't quite sure how to rationalize what his other self had said.

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outbursting June 1 2011, 23:35:52 UTC
Yosuke let out a soft sigh of relief -- glad that, at least, had remained constant between the different worlds that they were from.

His gaze focused on the surface of the table. There were a lot of things that were still unclear in his head, but he still felt like that fog was clearing. Everything that's happened and finally feeling like maybe he's found himself a stable place to be. Looking up, he did jerk back just a little to see that Souji was looking at him -- definitely was not expecting that.

"Yeah, it does." Little awkward to be talking about Souji about himself, or not really himself. "I don't know why he didn't trust me like you do. It seemed like I just wasn't able to be really be there for him." A beat. He wondered if it had anything to do with how long that the other Souji was in Port before he came or not.

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leaderly June 2 2011, 00:06:12 UTC
Souji suddenly felt very very guilty. He had already taken responsibility for the different versions of himself and yet...why did he want to deny that other version's actions so badly? A white-hot shame burn in the pit of his stomach. Was this what it was like to face something like one's Shadow? This urge to deny everything and feel this ashamed?

"Didn't...trust you?" he asked incredulously. "You told me he had said you had let him down but--" he trailed off.

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