guess what today is

[uraniumnumnum]

Who: ASH and open!! That means YOU.
When: Daytime, Friday, April 1
Where: out and about Sector 4
Summary: Ash needs more supplies. Ash is now self-sufficient. Cue a bunch of remotely-controlled spider robots of various sizes walking around the city carrying boxes of machinery. There's nothing suspicious about this at all!
Warnings: Should be none,

Comments

lmao she's, uh, jokerized, so... HAVE FUN WITH THAT?

[topslug]

With bright green hair and skin as white as though she'd dabbed greasepaint all over it, Yako was traipsing around the city carelessly, barefoot and not particularly concerned about it. Sure, she could put on shoes, but that would mean stopping, and where was the fun in that? She only paused to snag a bite or two from some of her favorite restaurants before she bolted off again, humming a happy little tune as she made her way down the street.

The glint of sunlight off something metallic caught her attention, and she pivoted, doing a double-take. She'd started seeing a lot of weird things this morning, some of them things she wasn't entirely sure were real, but this wasn't a hallucination: a pile of boxes was moving down the road! How funny! How weird!

How perfect for riding on!

And thus it was that Yako, displaying the same extraordinary lack of self-restraint that was slowly infecting the city, launched herself at the biggest robot to land on top of the packages on it.

LMFAOOOOO

[uraniumnumnum]

Naturally, Ash hardly gave a damn about any of the various people (or other beings) that might be wandering about around him, unless they happened to come close by or started seeming like a threat. However, he'd designed these machines to do grunt work, not for battle and sharp reflexes like their predecessors had been. By the time his sensors had noted an organism flying towards the central carrier robot, it was too late for it to move out of the way, and there was a rather disheartening crack as Yako landed on top of a box full of delicate machine parts

I LEGITLY LOL'D

[topslug]

Unfortunately, a Jokerized Yako was apparently also a very persistent Yako; when the robot began to buck and tilt, she took it as her cue to scrabble through the boxes and try to grab onto the robot itself, grinning wildly (whether she as capable of any other facial expression at this point was debatable).

"Yee-hawwwww! Giddyap, robot!" The rather large skirt of the flamenco dress she'd pulled on from somewhere flopped behind her like a crazy black-and-white tail. Hysterical, obnoxious laughter bubbled up from somewhere in her until she was all but crying from it.

The saddest thing, perhaps, was that this was far from the weirdest thing on Siren's Port's streets.

[uraniumnumnum]

Dammit, she really wasn't coming off. As soon as she spoke, Ash's databanks recognized the voice to be Yako's, which did nothing but increase his irritation. This woman had been nothing but trouble so far.

"You don't know what you're asking for," his voice snarled angrily. He was mostly bluffing. Now some of the robots were finally leaping from the ground, attempting to latch onto Yako's limbs or body with their legs. They could deliver a pretty solid electric shock - provided they actually managed to attach.

EFFIN LJ

[topslug]

Even out of it as she was, Yako could recognize that voice; before the robots could latch onto her, she scrambled off the big robot, aiming to grab its ... er... head. Or whatever it had that passed for one. Had the robot been a human, it would be the equivalent of her grabbing its face by the cheeks and staring into its eyes.

"Ash? That's you, isn't it? Hey, it's really you!" She sounded incredibly happy about it too, if the laughter bubbling out of her was any indication. "It's nice to meet you-- again!" She let the robot go, twirling in place to avoid another small robot lunging for her. "What are you up to? Can I help?"

IT'S OKAY WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE

[uraniumnumnum]

Suddenly, raining small robots all over - they clatter off of the main robot's back and back onto the ground if they didn't collide with each other first. The mule-like machine lurched as Yako grabbed onto its frontal camera, the lens readjusting itself multiple times.

What was even on her face.

"Yes," Ash's voice replied, sounding deeply unamused. "I'm gathering resources. You can help by getting the hell away from me."

[topslug]

"You can't make me!" As if to reinforce the point, Yako flung herself agains the bot to hug it, smushing the lens of its frontal camera into her (very modest) bosom. The girl's mouth was set in a stubborn line (despite her twitching lips' attempt to crack another grin), and despite her relatively light weight, her grip was strong. One could imagine it was this same grip and same crazed look that had many a shopkeeper wilting and letting her get away with half the buffet.

"You should be careful, you know!" Scolding, now. "It isn't safe in the streets, these days."

[uraniumnumnum]

Fortunately, Ash wasn't particularly fazed by that flattering view - it was more the fact that Yako was just grabbing onto the machine and wouldn't let go. There was obviously something up here... unless this was just how she acted normally. Either way, he wasn't having any of it. The smaller robots start to pick themselves up and form a semi-circle around the largest robot and the clinging woman.

"Oh, really? I hadn't noticed," he growled, managing to ignore the ever-so-ego-damaging fact that someone was trying to give him advice. The two front legs of the robot, though one of them was somewhat damaged thanks to someone shooting it, are lifted to prod at her none-too-gently. "Get off before I kill you."

Bluffing, of course - he couldn't kill anything like this.

[topslug]

"I'm serious-- ahahaha, hey, that tickles!" Yako yelped, trying to squirm away from the arms while hanging on to the robot still. Of course she wasn't acting normal, but she certainly wasn't in a position to tell him that.

"Anyway, you're not going to kill me." Said with absolute confidence, the grin stretching her face wide. "But I really can help you, you know! I can show you where to go so you don't get run over by clown cars or get toilet papered by anyone else!"

[uraniumnumnum]

Clown cars? Toilet papered? He supposed it was April Fools'. Ash had been so wrapped up in his own business that he hadn't been paying much specific attention to what the physical-bodied masses were doing around him (unless, naturally, it looked like it was going to involve him.) Nonetheless, neither of those two things sounded particularly threatening to a being who'd survived having an entire army thrown at him in the past; really, it just sounded like she was spouting gibberish.

Enough prodding - now he has the big robot just plain old shove Yako as hard as he can to try and throw her off. "You really think I need help? Especially from someone as pathetic as you? Don't make me laugh."

[topslug]

Yako drew back to indignantly protest that, but the robot caught her mid-breath, knocking her flat on her butt. She yelped, but more out of surprise than pain; grumbling, she heaved herself onto her feet, hands on hips.

"Everyone needs help from someone." A rather out-of-character giggle rather ruined whatever seriousness that statement had. "Even you. Even if you're just a little bit human." More giggling.

[uraniumnumnum]

Finally. The robot landed back on its feet, stumbling somewhat on the injured leg, and the lens on the front readjusted with a click. While most of the robots remained positioned aggressively around Yako, a few of them started heading over to the large robot to make sure she hadn't broken any of those packages.

Of course, once Yako went and called him a little bit human, things were different. The robot didn't react at all, but Ash's voice was definitely even angrier than before, tone venomous. "What...? I'm not even close to human, you idiot. Don't you dare call me that again, or I'll send you to hell myself."

[topslug]

It could be being Jokerized, or it could be that she really is that stupid, but Yako tipped her head to the side curiously. "Is it that bad? Humans grow, you know. They can evolve. And you don't act anything like HAL-- in the end, even he couldn't change his own programming. And you get mad an awful lot!" She giggled.

"Besides, you make yourself look human on the network! Why didn't you pick something else, if you don't like being mistaken for them o much? Hahaha-- this city's used to things that don't look human!"

[uraniumnumnum]

Now this was starting to cross the line. The robots all started slowing to a stop and facing towards Yako, motionless. There was nothing he despised in the world as much as humans. And, perhaps, nothing he envied as much - although that part was buried too deep now for him to acknowledge it anymore. His voice was a snarl.

"Galerian, not human, you ignorant bitch. And keep your mouth shut. You learned about me by accident, and you're going to be the only one who does so." There's a flash of metal as some of the spiderbots raised their front limbs for a few moments - but, Ash apparently reconsidering, they lowered them soon, and then the entire troupe began to turn and walk away. "I'm done wasting my time with you."

So he said. Possibly willfully ignoring the fact that the robots don't walk very quickly.

[topslug]

A fact that wasn't lost on Yako, of course. After a moment, she stood up, dusting herself off, and began ambling a companionable distance beside the large robot, seemingly heedless of her bare feet.

"I'm sorry about messing up your boxes," she said solemnly, though the effect was ruined by the rather hysterical giggle at the end of it. "If you stand still for a sec, I'll put them back on, and then-- hahaha--- I'll go away. Okay?"

[uraniumnumnum]

"You'll probably take them for yourself like the greedy human you are," huffed Ash's voice from the largest robot, still limping along. The smaller ones were attempting to keep up while balancing the boxes on themselves, which became somewhat difficult when many of them were way too big. But, apparently, this was still preferable in his mind to having Yako interfere.