[Voice]
LISH-LISHTEN UP!
[Yes, dear folk, Liquid Snake... is drunk. Not surprising for someone who can get tipsy after two glasses and has now been drinking since breaking contact with Undertaker. His voice is slurring and he sound completely out of it.]
If any one of you- you hundredsh of people out there findsh my body at any time, you keep it secret! Nobody getsh t'mourn dogs like us! Nobody wantsh to! So just leave it! Burn it for all I care. That way nobody ever gets to cut it up and cut it up and cut it up to get all the secrets in it!
[Like the nanomachines that don't work right now. His voice turns distinctly whinier.]
BROTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRR! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, YOU COWARD?! THAT'S RIGHT, 'M CALLIN' YOU A COWARD! ONE BAD EX- ES- E- HAPPENING AND YOU TURN TAIL AND RUN?! ARE YOU EVEN WORTHY OF BEING CALLED MY BROTHER? I CAN'T BELIEVE I USED TO LOOK UP TO YOU! TRY TO SURPASS YOU! HAH! Might as well try to surpass a goat. No, the goat's braver than you. Stop nibbling my hair, John! [A faint shoving sound and something bleats in the background.] Yeah, I was talking to you, John! Just 'cause you were Ocelot's doesn't mean you get to eat my hair. 's nice hair. But back to my point! You wouldn't have the nerve to nibble my hair.
An' would it kill ya to get off my lap, you? [A frustrated meow.] Stop dogpiling me. Hah. Dogpiled by cats. Do people ever get catpiled? 'cause catpiled sounds kinda dirty. I don't think many people want to be catpiled.
Hmph. I can't believe this... Bloody INSANE. [He cackles.] Now... they say dogsh are more loyal than catsh, but catsh... cats've been known to eat the corpses of their owners if they get hungry enough and nobody finds the body. 's not an urban legend. 's true. Not surprising. Humans are just animals, after all. Just another dumb shtupid animal! But animalsh are shmart. Maybe that's why FOXHOUND uses animals as- mrffle. [Another meow.] Off my face, dammit! All of you. And take your twinsh with you.
Miller shaid that catsh are loyal and that'sh true. When I needed them, these catsh were there for me. 'cept Ocelot washn't loyal, was he? And Otacon left. Jerk. BROTHER! COME FACE YOUR BROTHER LIKE A MAN! Let's settle it, once and for all! I won't even kill you when I win. 'm not like you. 'm better. You couldn't last a few hours! Not like I did. Mmph. 'm not... 'm not like you. You're like me. And that'sh better than you could hope for.
I want my Father back.
Hey, Kadaj! Kadaj, Kadaj, Kadaj! You should try this! Hah, you need to try new stuff and I... I wanna see if you can get drunk. It's a 'speriment. Or should that be a 'speriremnant? Shhhh, though! Don't tell Yazoo. Someone shoved a stick up his arse and now he can't have any fun. I think someone's been goin' around with the old stick lately 'cause a lot of people are like that. And hell, I've been good, right? I shtopped trying to take over the world, stayed out of trouble mostly, so why- oh right! I had an announcement! [He clears his throat.]
PEOPLESH OF THE MULTIVERSE, AND CANADA! I... forgot my announcement. Bugger. Did someone mess with my nanos? 'cause I don't usually f'get stuff. Unless it's politics, 'cause to hell with those. I need to make a pie chart. No... I need to make a potato chart. Mm, potatoes.
[A brief pause and the faint sound of cupboards opening.]
WHY THE HELL DO WE HAVE CARROTS IN THE CUPBOARD?!
(ooc: I am so not sorry.)
[Yes, dear folk, Liquid Snake... is drunk. Not surprising for someone who can get tipsy after two glasses and has now been drinking since breaking contact with Undertaker. His voice is slurring and he sound completely out of it.]
If any one of you- you hundredsh of people out there findsh my body at any time, you keep it secret! Nobody getsh t'mourn dogs like us! Nobody wantsh to! So just leave it! Burn it for all I care. That way nobody ever gets to cut it up and cut it up and cut it up to get all the secrets in it!
[Like the nanomachines that don't work right now. His voice turns distinctly whinier.]
BROTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRR! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, YOU COWARD?! THAT'S RIGHT, 'M CALLIN' YOU A COWARD! ONE BAD EX- ES- E- HAPPENING AND YOU TURN TAIL AND RUN?! ARE YOU EVEN WORTHY OF BEING CALLED MY BROTHER? I CAN'T BELIEVE I USED TO LOOK UP TO YOU! TRY TO SURPASS YOU! HAH! Might as well try to surpass a goat. No, the goat's braver than you. Stop nibbling my hair, John! [A faint shoving sound and something bleats in the background.] Yeah, I was talking to you, John! Just 'cause you were Ocelot's doesn't mean you get to eat my hair. 's nice hair. But back to my point! You wouldn't have the nerve to nibble my hair.
An' would it kill ya to get off my lap, you? [A frustrated meow.] Stop dogpiling me. Hah. Dogpiled by cats. Do people ever get catpiled? 'cause catpiled sounds kinda dirty. I don't think many people want to be catpiled.
Hmph. I can't believe this... Bloody INSANE. [He cackles.] Now... they say dogsh are more loyal than catsh, but catsh... cats've been known to eat the corpses of their owners if they get hungry enough and nobody finds the body. 's not an urban legend. 's true. Not surprising. Humans are just animals, after all. Just another dumb shtupid animal! But animalsh are shmart. Maybe that's why FOXHOUND uses animals as- mrffle. [Another meow.] Off my face, dammit! All of you. And take your twinsh with you.
Miller shaid that catsh are loyal and that'sh true. When I needed them, these catsh were there for me. 'cept Ocelot washn't loyal, was he? And Otacon left. Jerk. BROTHER! COME FACE YOUR BROTHER LIKE A MAN! Let's settle it, once and for all! I won't even kill you when I win. 'm not like you. 'm better. You couldn't last a few hours! Not like I did. Mmph. 'm not... 'm not like you. You're like me. And that'sh better than you could hope for.
I want my Father back.
Hey, Kadaj! Kadaj, Kadaj, Kadaj! You should try this! Hah, you need to try new stuff and I... I wanna see if you can get drunk. It's a 'speriment. Or should that be a 'speriremnant? Shhhh, though! Don't tell Yazoo. Someone shoved a stick up his arse and now he can't have any fun. I think someone's been goin' around with the old stick lately 'cause a lot of people are like that. And hell, I've been good, right? I shtopped trying to take over the world, stayed out of trouble mostly, so why- oh right! I had an announcement! [He clears his throat.]
PEOPLESH OF THE MULTIVERSE, AND CANADA! I... forgot my announcement. Bugger. Did someone mess with my nanos? 'cause I don't usually f'get stuff. Unless it's politics, 'cause to hell with those. I need to make a pie chart. No... I need to make a potato chart. Mm, potatoes.
[A brief pause and the faint sound of cupboards opening.]
WHY THE HELL DO WE HAVE CARROTS IN THE CUPBOARD?!
(ooc: I am so not sorry.)