video
[A bit more subdued, a bit more smudged than usual, Sirius turns on the video with a little wave.]
Wotcher, Siren's Port. Let's have a show of hands, then. How many of us are still alive? [He pauses, as if taking a count, then grins a bit more.] Splendid, glad to hear it.
Bit unrelenting these days, innit? If it's not a bloody great monster terrorizing everyone, it's some bastard in robes chanting at you, or all the lights going out, or it's someone making statues from cadavers, or tearing out hearts. [He does not say anything about explosions, of course.] Gets to be enough to make you feel mental, right? Just the other day, I was talking to this lad who says that where he's from, when a great mad beast shows up, it's an omen for something terrible on the horizon. Something terrible! What a thing for us to look forward to. If you believe in omens, that is.
Anyway, here's a joke for you: There were two blokes en route to some afterlife. Doesn't matter what it was, they were dead, and talking with one another. Perhaps they were here, since that sort of thing seems probable.
Anyway, one of 'em asks the other how he died. Typical line of conversation. "Well," he says, "I froze to death," and the other says, "Oh, Merlin, that's awful, what was that like?" And the first says, "Rather cold, y'know, and it hurts at first--but after a time, you go so numb it doesn't quite matter, and after that, it's rather peaceful, it's like falling asleep. What about you?"
"Well," says the second, "I died of a heart attack. I came home early from work, y'see, 'cos I knew my wife was cheating on me. So I walked in the door, but she was alone, knitting. I knew the bastard was there, so I ran down into the cellar, but he wasn't there. I went up and looked in all of the bedrooms, but he wasn't there. And just as I started up the third floor, I had a heart attack and died."
"Merlin's beard, but that's ironic!" says the first. "If only you'd looked in the freezer, why, we'd both still be alive!"
[He raises his eyebrows, with a smirk--get it?--and then shrugs.] Congratulations, you just laughed at a joke about dead people. Don't get all cynical on me, now, and chastise me for telling insensitive jokes at a time of strife--you're the ones laughing at it. You're welcome.
Wotcher, Siren's Port. Let's have a show of hands, then. How many of us are still alive? [He pauses, as if taking a count, then grins a bit more.] Splendid, glad to hear it.
Bit unrelenting these days, innit? If it's not a bloody great monster terrorizing everyone, it's some bastard in robes chanting at you, or all the lights going out, or it's someone making statues from cadavers, or tearing out hearts. [He does not say anything about explosions, of course.] Gets to be enough to make you feel mental, right? Just the other day, I was talking to this lad who says that where he's from, when a great mad beast shows up, it's an omen for something terrible on the horizon. Something terrible! What a thing for us to look forward to. If you believe in omens, that is.
Anyway, here's a joke for you: There were two blokes en route to some afterlife. Doesn't matter what it was, they were dead, and talking with one another. Perhaps they were here, since that sort of thing seems probable.
Anyway, one of 'em asks the other how he died. Typical line of conversation. "Well," he says, "I froze to death," and the other says, "Oh, Merlin, that's awful, what was that like?" And the first says, "Rather cold, y'know, and it hurts at first--but after a time, you go so numb it doesn't quite matter, and after that, it's rather peaceful, it's like falling asleep. What about you?"
"Well," says the second, "I died of a heart attack. I came home early from work, y'see, 'cos I knew my wife was cheating on me. So I walked in the door, but she was alone, knitting. I knew the bastard was there, so I ran down into the cellar, but he wasn't there. I went up and looked in all of the bedrooms, but he wasn't there. And just as I started up the third floor, I had a heart attack and died."
"Merlin's beard, but that's ironic!" says the first. "If only you'd looked in the freezer, why, we'd both still be alive!"
[He raises his eyebrows, with a smirk--get it?--and then shrugs.] Congratulations, you just laughed at a joke about dead people. Don't get all cynical on me, now, and chastise me for telling insensitive jokes at a time of strife--you're the ones laughing at it. You're welcome.