♔ DECLARATION THE ELEVENTH // video ♔
EMERGENCY! THEFT AND EMERGENCY! THEFT AND EMERGENCY!
SOMEONE HAS STOLEN OUR AIR CONDITIONER! SOMEONE STOLE OUR AIR CONDITIONER!
The theft occurred last night, under the cover of darkness! Oh, yes; how sly and sneaky was the thief, to use so convenient a time to perform his terrible deed! The darkness made it difficult to see anything--and, really, I don't know how it was done, because we live on the fifth floor! A certain amount of ingenuity must have been applied! BUT IN THIS CASE, INGENUITY IS NOT COMMENDABLE! As soon as I noticed that the air conditioner was missing, I blocked up the window with everything nearby! And then, I gave immediate pursuit--but he was gone! And then, my bad luck curse struck and I tripped on a banana peel and fell into an alley and lost all hope of every discovering his identity! I couldn't even stay outside long enough to look for fingerprints or footprints or DNA residue, because I didn't want the curse to strike again!
BUT THIS IS TERRIBLE! I have a family to think of! A daughter! And as if a heat wave weren't worrying enough, there is now a CRIME WAVE IN PROGRESS! Air conditioners, being ripped from windows! Families left to suffer and suffocate in crippling heat! Daughters left to languish in severe heat! WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING? Alas, cruel world! Please, strike your blows upon me, fate, but leave my daughter out of it! She does not deserve such treatment, such assaults, such heat to overcome her!
Guard your air conditioners, Siren's Port! Let my terrible story of woe and heat and dastardly thievery stand as a sad warning! Do not let my fate become your fate!
SOMEONE HAS STOLEN OUR AIR CONDITIONER! SOMEONE STOLE OUR AIR CONDITIONER!
The theft occurred last night, under the cover of darkness! Oh, yes; how sly and sneaky was the thief, to use so convenient a time to perform his terrible deed! The darkness made it difficult to see anything--and, really, I don't know how it was done, because we live on the fifth floor! A certain amount of ingenuity must have been applied! BUT IN THIS CASE, INGENUITY IS NOT COMMENDABLE! As soon as I noticed that the air conditioner was missing, I blocked up the window with everything nearby! And then, I gave immediate pursuit--but he was gone! And then, my bad luck curse struck and I tripped on a banana peel and fell into an alley and lost all hope of every discovering his identity! I couldn't even stay outside long enough to look for fingerprints or footprints or DNA residue, because I didn't want the curse to strike again!
BUT THIS IS TERRIBLE! I have a family to think of! A daughter! And as if a heat wave weren't worrying enough, there is now a CRIME WAVE IN PROGRESS! Air conditioners, being ripped from windows! Families left to suffer and suffocate in crippling heat! Daughters left to languish in severe heat! WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING? Alas, cruel world! Please, strike your blows upon me, fate, but leave my daughter out of it! She does not deserve such treatment, such assaults, such heat to overcome her!
Guard your air conditioners, Siren's Port! Let my terrible story of woe and heat and dastardly thievery stand as a sad warning! Do not let my fate become your fate!