013 (Voice) I wanna hear what you have to say about me...
[The NV comes on to static, like an old radio that isn't quite tuned into the right station. A few crackles, pops, and indistinguishable sounds later, and Gabriel's voice starts speaking... Except residents who have been here for the past year may notice that the messages sound a little familiar, disjointed- it's not Gabriel talking. It's Gabriel replaying bits of his old posts to the network- a series of unrelated sentences strung together and punctuated by static.]
"I was gonna open this with a morality essay question, but, hey, it's been done, right?"
"That's your big coup de gras? Canada? Oh, be still my beating heart, I don't think I can take it."
"I hope you're all enjoying tonight's entertainment- I mean, it's Monsters On Ice for the fiftieth night in a row, but I bet that never gets old."
"The forces of good- or at least the forces of 'slightly more moral than your average nutcase'- triumphed and your streets are short one less psycho. You're welcome."
"And for the record? I'm not dead or anything. "
"And if you're listening to this, you sorry piece of shit? I plan on making every waking moment in your life agony, because you, my friend? Have pissed off the wrong guy."
"Price you pay for fucking around with things way outta your league. Bravo, gang. Gold stars for all of you."
"Don't strain yourself. Wouldn't want those slave girls laughing at you later."
"Also, Jinx. You have absolutely nothing to eat in this place. I drag my ass all the way over here to fix your little redecoration problem, and what do I get? Stale Chinese food. Where's your humanity?"
"And Edgeworth? ....Eh, we still hate each other. The status quo's maintained. I think that's all either of us can really ask for, hm?"
"So, boys and girls. I have only one thing to say and I'm only gonna say it once."
"And lo the Angel of the Lord said, bite me..."
"I'd like to think I'm not that hard to get along with. Oh sure, I'm kinda stuck on sarcastic, I think tact is for other people, and I'm about as sensitive as sandpaper, but let's not get hung up on the details. The point is... It's really not that hard to stay on my good side. I think we can all agree that for all my flaws, I'm a pretty easy-going guy."
"And the most important rule? Don't touch my girl or else she'll grab whatever the hell she wants and rip it off you and that's just what she'll do to you. Those are the house rules, kids. Try and keep up."
"Here endeth the lesson."
[The static cuts out, the feed returns to normal and Gabriel starts to speak. He sounds as nonchalant as ever for all the stress he's under. This? This is as sentimental as he's going to get. Siren's Port's been as much of a home to him as anything has been in a long time and even with all the shit... He wouldn't trade it.]
I didn't really do the whole big sobbing montages, but.... It's been one hell of a year, gang. If there was ever a time to get my sentimental on... It's now.
I mean... What the hell, right?
[A momentary pause and then the feed cuts out.]
"I was gonna open this with a morality essay question, but, hey, it's been done, right?"
"That's your big coup de gras? Canada? Oh, be still my beating heart, I don't think I can take it."
"I hope you're all enjoying tonight's entertainment- I mean, it's Monsters On Ice for the fiftieth night in a row, but I bet that never gets old."
"The forces of good- or at least the forces of 'slightly more moral than your average nutcase'- triumphed and your streets are short one less psycho. You're welcome."
"And for the record? I'm not dead or anything. "
"And if you're listening to this, you sorry piece of shit? I plan on making every waking moment in your life agony, because you, my friend? Have pissed off the wrong guy."
"Price you pay for fucking around with things way outta your league. Bravo, gang. Gold stars for all of you."
"Don't strain yourself. Wouldn't want those slave girls laughing at you later."
"Also, Jinx. You have absolutely nothing to eat in this place. I drag my ass all the way over here to fix your little redecoration problem, and what do I get? Stale Chinese food. Where's your humanity?"
"And Edgeworth? ....Eh, we still hate each other. The status quo's maintained. I think that's all either of us can really ask for, hm?"
"So, boys and girls. I have only one thing to say and I'm only gonna say it once."
"And lo the Angel of the Lord said, bite me..."
"I'd like to think I'm not that hard to get along with. Oh sure, I'm kinda stuck on sarcastic, I think tact is for other people, and I'm about as sensitive as sandpaper, but let's not get hung up on the details. The point is... It's really not that hard to stay on my good side. I think we can all agree that for all my flaws, I'm a pretty easy-going guy."
"And the most important rule? Don't touch my girl or else she'll grab whatever the hell she wants and rip it off you and that's just what she'll do to you. Those are the house rules, kids. Try and keep up."
"Here endeth the lesson."
[The static cuts out, the feed returns to normal and Gabriel starts to speak. He sounds as nonchalant as ever for all the stress he's under. This? This is as sentimental as he's going to get. Siren's Port's been as much of a home to him as anything has been in a long time and even with all the shit... He wouldn't trade it.]
I didn't really do the whole big sobbing montages, but.... It's been one hell of a year, gang. If there was ever a time to get my sentimental on... It's now.
I mean... What the hell, right?
[A momentary pause and then the feed cuts out.]