[Axel's eyes narrow almost imperceptibly at the mention of Saïx, and he throws back another swallow of his drink.]
Inevitable? Probably. [Whether he means Saïx or the Organization as a whole, though, he doesn't specify. He shakes his head, sort of glowering into the bottom of his drink a moment.] I think some structures are just destined to fail anyway...
[He looks at Marluxia sidelong then, a bit bemused. He really hadn't expected the other Nobody to be so forthcoming. Apparently he really had been through something. A click of his tongue and he spins the mostly-empty glass on the counter.]
Way I see it, maybe the heart itself doesn't matter so much. We remember, and that's enough--it's all just chemicals in the brain anyway, isn't it? Emotion... [He waggles his fingers near his temple as if in demonstration, then snorts a bitter laugh.] If you remember what it feels like, then it's really not so different.
[Roxas had made him remember... when Roxas was around, it was almost like he did still have a heart. Damndest thing, really--he could laugh with the kid like he was really laughing. But he wasn't about to get into that with Marluxia.
[Polishing off his drink, he prodded the ice with his swizzle, then cast Marluxia a sidelong look.] We make do with what we have, I guess... and in the end, maybe it's enough.
[Action]petalsofdeathSeptember 21 2011, 07:18:23 UTC
[There was plenty more for the Assassin to tell, but he kept those unpleasant secrets inside, at least for the moment. There may come a time where he would need to tell Axel the truth about his time in the Apartments, but certainly, he divulged more than enough to keep the other Nobody busy, hadn't he?]
I imagine that if our feelings were "just" chemicals in our brains, our hearts wouldn't be necessary at all. No, there must be something unique about the heart that allows us finally to be whole.
[he shrugs.]
Perhaps it is "light". Whatever light does for our hearts, our brains cannot synthesize it, and we remain yet incomplete beings.
[Marluxia looked down at the melting ice in his glass, the amber-colored water it left behind when it mixed with the remains of his drink.]
It seems too much a defeat to make do. Before... I had not wanted my heart. I could not face the pain that having one caused, but now... Well... it is indeed pleasant to taste something and enjoy its flavor, you understand?
[Axel gives an exaggerated sigh.] Ha~ah, don't you get all metaphorical on me; it doesn't suit you. Leave that nonsense to the chief. [Fishing an ice cube from his glass, he tosses it up in the air and catches it in his mouth, crunching on it a moment before giving Marluxia a slightly indignant look.]
I dunno. Getting a taste and never any more sounds like torture to me. But have it your way. I think it's better to just adapt than to lust for something you'll probably never get. [Oh. That was a little more honest than he meant to be. He quickly pushes the tumbler away like maybe eating the ice pushed him over the edge, then half-shrugs and waves a hand.] But suit yourself--it'll leave a pretty gnarly-looking scar, if nothing else.
[There: a little acerbic cynicism and perhaps the momentary lapse into honesty can be overlooked.]
Re: [Action]petalsofdeathSeptember 21 2011, 15:11:06 UTC
It is enough, for now, but perhaps I've just adapted to what I've been given.
[It seems Axel's tongue has loosened up a little bit. Interesting. It would almost seem as if they were bonding, but certainly, the Assassin couldn't expect that the admission was anything more than a slip.]
Is that why you left the Organization, in the end?
Not exactly. [It's not a lie. He didn't leave the Organization because he was exasperated regarding matters of the heart... not exactly. Roxas was the one who had him all confused, wondering why he almost felt like he did have a heart when the kid was around. But that isn't any of Marluxia's business, that's for sure.] Let's just say I felt my skills weren't being properly utilized in the Organization's hands.
What about you, anyway? [He leans back a bit on the barstool.] What in hell were you and Larxene planning to do if you actually managed to usurp the throne?
[Action]petalsofdeathSeptember 22 2011, 03:22:57 UTC
[Marluxia shook his head with a thin-lipped smile, as if embarrassed to admit...] We had no idea what we were going to do. We were so engrossed in the very idea of taking the Superior on, that we had no plans for what to do after we had killed off anyone who opposed us. [He ran a forefinger around the lip of the glass.] We just wished to be free. We were at the bottom of the Organization, and we felt our talents were being wasted by the Elders. If only we had been patient... But of course, Luxord isn't the only gambler in our number. I saw my opportunity, and I took it. The price of failure was worth it to me if I had even a chance to succeed.
Free... [There was a time when Axel wouldn't really have known what to do with freedom. He had spent so much time being angry at the Darkness for destroying his home and taking Isa away from him that when his heart was taken and he wound up in Never Was, he was so disoriented that in a way having to follow orders had been a blessing. It hadn't taken long for the novelty to wear off, of course, and after things with Saïx had started to go downhill he would have given any number of other internal organs just to have that freedom he'd once had back. He supposed he might have sympathized with Marluxia's situation, had he the capacity.]
Mm, I dunno... the price of failure's a little too steep for me these days. Inflation, I guess. [And then he snorts a sharp laugh.] You ah... could have done better on the accomplice front, though. I mean, really... Larxene? I can't be the only one who figured out pretty quick she'd stab you in the back soon as look at you. Literally, even, if you were particularly unlucky.
[Action]petalsofdeathSeptember 23 2011, 06:51:44 UTC
In our treacherous little circle? Unlikely. There was no way she could have overtaken me, if our plot had succeeded. She was cunning, but certainly not the sort of woman who could act alone. She was the one who told you the entire plot, was she not?
Perhaps not, but that doesn't mean she wouldn't try.
[And then he chortles, the swizzle in his mouth again.]
Well yes, she's the one who spilled the beans. For what it's worth, though, I'd say my performance leading up to that moment certainly had something to do with it.
Inevitable? Probably. [Whether he means Saïx or the Organization as a whole, though, he doesn't specify. He shakes his head, sort of glowering into the bottom of his drink a moment.] I think some structures are just destined to fail anyway...
[He looks at Marluxia sidelong then, a bit bemused. He really hadn't expected the other Nobody to be so forthcoming. Apparently he really had been through something. A click of his tongue and he spins the mostly-empty glass on the counter.]
Way I see it, maybe the heart itself doesn't matter so much. We remember, and that's enough--it's all just chemicals in the brain anyway, isn't it? Emotion... [He waggles his fingers near his temple as if in demonstration, then snorts a bitter laugh.] If you remember what it feels like, then it's really not so different.
[Roxas had made him remember... when Roxas was around, it was almost like he did still have a heart. Damndest thing, really--he could laugh with the kid like he was really laughing. But he wasn't about to get into that with Marluxia.
[Polishing off his drink, he prodded the ice with his swizzle, then cast Marluxia a sidelong look.] We make do with what we have, I guess... and in the end, maybe it's enough.
Reply
I imagine that if our feelings were "just" chemicals in our brains, our hearts wouldn't be necessary at all. No, there must be something unique about the heart that allows us finally to be whole.
[he shrugs.]
Perhaps it is "light". Whatever light does for our hearts, our brains cannot synthesize it, and we remain yet incomplete beings.
[Marluxia looked down at the melting ice in his glass, the amber-colored water it left behind when it mixed with the remains of his drink.]
It seems too much a defeat to make do. Before... I had not wanted my heart. I could not face the pain that having one caused, but now... Well... it is indeed pleasant to taste something and enjoy its flavor, you understand?
Reply
I dunno. Getting a taste and never any more sounds like torture to me. But have it your way. I think it's better to just adapt than to lust for something you'll probably never get. [Oh. That was a little more honest than he meant to be. He quickly pushes the tumbler away like maybe eating the ice pushed him over the edge, then half-shrugs and waves a hand.] But suit yourself--it'll leave a pretty gnarly-looking scar, if nothing else.
[There: a little acerbic cynicism and perhaps the momentary lapse into honesty can be overlooked.]
Reply
[It seems Axel's tongue has loosened up a little bit. Interesting. It would almost seem as if they were bonding, but certainly, the Assassin couldn't expect that the admission was anything more than a slip.]
Is that why you left the Organization, in the end?
Reply
What about you, anyway? [He leans back a bit on the barstool.] What in hell were you and Larxene planning to do if you actually managed to usurp the throne?
Reply
We had no idea what we were going to do. We were so engrossed in the very idea of taking the Superior on, that we had no plans for what to do after we had killed off anyone who opposed us.
[He ran a forefinger around the lip of the glass.]
We just wished to be free. We were at the bottom of the Organization, and we felt our talents were being wasted by the Elders. If only we had been patient...
But of course, Luxord isn't the only gambler in our number. I saw my opportunity, and I took it. The price of failure was worth it to me if I had even a chance to succeed.
Reply
Mm, I dunno... the price of failure's a little too steep for me these days. Inflation, I guess. [And then he snorts a sharp laugh.] You ah... could have done better on the accomplice front, though. I mean, really... Larxene? I can't be the only one who figured out pretty quick she'd stab you in the back soon as look at you. Literally, even, if you were particularly unlucky.
Reply
Reply
[And then he chortles, the swizzle in his mouth again.]
Well yes, she's the one who spilled the beans. For what it's worth, though, I'd say my performance leading up to that moment certainly had something to do with it.
Reply
[He shook his head with a little scoff.]
Though, indirectly, I suppose you did fool me.
Reply
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