♑ video.
[ hey, network! on the screen is . . . well, you see right. it's a large pile of horns. bicycle horns. to make a pile like that, that's a lot of fucking horns. who the fuck keeps so many horns . . . anyway, at the moment it's just chilling there, silent as ever on a hardwood apartment floor, until there's speeding footsteps getting louder, closer--
something jumps and does a fucking pirouette canon ball right into the pile, causing a loud, chaotic honking unison, a few of the noisemakers scattering themselves around the room, landing with softer honks. when the figure stills, the video reveals that strange clown kid with horns, gamzee makara. well- at least what's visible! which was half of his face and his bright horns, the rest of him being buried underneath the mount. after a few moments of a possibly awkward, strangely calm stare, a few lazy blinkş, then a muffled-- ]
Oh-- shit, this fucker on?
[ a chuckle, then a muttered "i all up and forgot". now, gamzee begins to crawl out of the heap, every movement accompanied by variations of honk, honk, squeak, honk. reaching for his husktop, the troll begins his journey to the top of clown horn mountain. now on top, he shifts to get comfortable ( honk, squeeeak ), looks around him, then hunches over; the normal sitting position. he blinks, let's out a relaxed, prolonged sigh, then finally shifts his attention to the device. ]
Yooo, my motherfuckers. Motherfuckettes-- hoofsises, catbros . . . [ a friendly wave ] What the fuck is up? Y'all chill? [ from somewhere in the pile, he manages to dig and reach for a bottle of red soda, the brand reading faygo. beloved, beloved faybo. yeah, boi. guess who got him some sacred soda. jade mom lusus. ] Chill like this frosty brew?
[ he holds the bottle up near his ear, twists the cap, and snaps it open; what follows is that soft hissssss. just opening a bottle of soda, yeah. but gamzee looks pretty fucking entertained. ] Fuck, don't think I'll ever be all getting over that miracle . . . .
-- Anyway, all you peeps best be chill. But if you ain't, it's cool . . . . 'Cause motherfuckin' Gamzee's got the perfect fuckin' remedy, prescribed all special for you and straight over the table. Hear a brother out so he could be dropping this whismiharsh noise into your articular sponge clots, Aight? [ he takes a huge gulp of the beverage. ahhhhhh. ready? drum roll, please! ]
What I be droppin', like a flaming motherfuckin' potato out the troll canon, and over alls the acrabotic grief trapezes, is that beautiful disease we all know and love. That wild fire that be spreadin' the sickest of mirthful burns up in the good ol' blood pumping motherfucker. [ for a moment, he closes his eyes, looking peaceful. ]
Friendship.
I got a proposition, so lemme slam this shit down for ya', too. You chill? Ain't chill? No matter what the fuck you be, we should chill-- So we could be all gettin' to know each other. Be better brothers and sisters up in this Canda, yeah? Nothin' better that bein' tight with some new homies.
[ glug glug ] Plus, a lotta y'all are the dopest. Naw, wait-- All y'all are the dopest. You got this clown really enjoying all your bad motherfuckin' selves. [ a pause. when his eyes do that unfocus thing, it's kind of weird . . . er. looking like he's just started to space out actually, but luckily he snaps back to reality pretty quickly. ]
Woah-- Okay so you just say the word, the word everyfucker's heard, and we got ourselves a spot to be kicking that miraculous bitch by the name of friendship down some motherfuckin' stairs, y'nah mean? We can chug some wicked hiss liquid. And jam a little . . . And have some pie. Get our zone on, all that shit. With me, and my chica Jade. [ although he's forgotten he doesn't have any pie . . . ]
Yeah.
Honk.
[ and now. yeah, he's done. except he's expecting it to just be over and turn off by itself or something. which it doesn't. so, enjoy the mindless zoned out stoner staring. after a few moments, he burps-- he expression strains, then quickly relaxes again. then, without warning . . .
a bright, neon green fluid-- viscous and gross enough to look like some kind of goopy slime, starts secreting from his mouth, and around his pile. he doesn't seem to notice, too busy gazing restlessly at
what the fuck is he looking at anyway. ]
something jumps and does a fucking pirouette canon ball right into the pile, causing a loud, chaotic honking unison, a few of the noisemakers scattering themselves around the room, landing with softer honks. when the figure stills, the video reveals that strange clown kid with horns, gamzee makara. well- at least what's visible! which was half of his face and his bright horns, the rest of him being buried underneath the mount. after a few moments of a possibly awkward, strangely calm stare, a few lazy blinkş, then a muffled-- ]
Oh-- shit, this fucker on?
[ a chuckle, then a muttered "i all up and forgot". now, gamzee begins to crawl out of the heap, every movement accompanied by variations of honk, honk, squeak, honk. reaching for his husktop, the troll begins his journey to the top of clown horn mountain. now on top, he shifts to get comfortable ( honk, squeeeak ), looks around him, then hunches over; the normal sitting position. he blinks, let's out a relaxed, prolonged sigh, then finally shifts his attention to the device. ]
Yooo, my motherfuckers. Motherfuckettes-- hoofsises, catbros . . . [ a friendly wave ] What the fuck is up? Y'all chill? [ from somewhere in the pile, he manages to dig and reach for a bottle of red soda, the brand reading faygo. beloved, beloved faybo. yeah, boi. guess who got him some sacred soda. jade mom lusus. ] Chill like this frosty brew?
[ he holds the bottle up near his ear, twists the cap, and snaps it open; what follows is that soft hissssss. just opening a bottle of soda, yeah. but gamzee looks pretty fucking entertained. ] Fuck, don't think I'll ever be all getting over that miracle . . . .
-- Anyway, all you peeps best be chill. But if you ain't, it's cool . . . . 'Cause motherfuckin' Gamzee's got the perfect fuckin' remedy, prescribed all special for you and straight over the table. Hear a brother out so he could be dropping this whismiharsh noise into your articular sponge clots, Aight? [ he takes a huge gulp of the beverage. ahhhhhh. ready? drum roll, please! ]
What I be droppin', like a flaming motherfuckin' potato out the troll canon, and over alls the acrabotic grief trapezes, is that beautiful disease we all know and love. That wild fire that be spreadin' the sickest of mirthful burns up in the good ol' blood pumping motherfucker. [ for a moment, he closes his eyes, looking peaceful. ]
Friendship.
I got a proposition, so lemme slam this shit down for ya', too. You chill? Ain't chill? No matter what the fuck you be, we should chill-- So we could be all gettin' to know each other. Be better brothers and sisters up in this Canda, yeah? Nothin' better that bein' tight with some new homies.
[ glug glug ] Plus, a lotta y'all are the dopest. Naw, wait-- All y'all are the dopest. You got this clown really enjoying all your bad motherfuckin' selves. [ a pause. when his eyes do that unfocus thing, it's kind of weird . . . er. looking like he's just started to space out actually, but luckily he snaps back to reality pretty quickly. ]
Woah-- Okay so you just say the word, the word everyfucker's heard, and we got ourselves a spot to be kicking that miraculous bitch by the name of friendship down some motherfuckin' stairs, y'nah mean? We can chug some wicked hiss liquid. And jam a little . . . And have some pie. Get our zone on, all that shit. With me, and my chica Jade. [ although he's forgotten he doesn't have any pie . . . ]
Yeah.
Honk.
[ and now. yeah, he's done. except he's expecting it to just be over and turn off by itself or something. which it doesn't. so, enjoy the mindless zoned out stoner staring. after a few moments, he burps-- he expression strains, then quickly relaxes again. then, without warning . . .
a bright, neon green fluid-- viscous and gross enough to look like some kind of goopy slime, starts secreting from his mouth, and around his pile. he doesn't seem to notice, too busy gazing restlessly at
what the fuck is he looking at anyway. ]