news feed; Thursday, May 26th, 2011
Thursday; May 26, 2011
Weather
Cloudy with a few showers in the morning. Afternoon sunny periods. 14°C and a low of 9°C (57°F/48°F)
Current Moon Phase: Waning Crescent
Morning sirens will go off at 5:20 am, and evening sirens will go off at 8:58 pm.
BRINGING HOME THE BACON
The article confirms that the kidnapping of a doctor last week was the work of Jason "Schweinmeister" Finnigan, widely considered to be the heir apparent to Beefeater McMason's meaty throne. Apparently furious that his own takeover attempt was aborted by the intervention of two Newcomers, he forced Dr. Tommy Aik to perform an extremely dangerous operation to give himself four extra stomachs.
Once healed, he proceeded to challenge the Newcomers to another eating contest, seizing the Sausage Party factory by the loins. Threatening to let all the factory's current supply rot unless they faced him for a showdown, he promised to “make ‘em squeal” like little piggies, all the way home.
It seems the Newcomers once again stepped up to the plate to put a stop to this hamfisted scheme. He was found and arrested Wednesday night in the middle of a pile of bratwurst and slop, stunned and apparently struck dumb with shock. According to one of his Piglets, the girls were heard to say the following on their way out:
"How’s them rinds, porky? Bitter, like the taste of defeat? Take that!”
"Wait, it's over already? I'm still pretty hungry..."
The article goes on to praise the pluck of these Newcomers (while adding that gels should not be inclined to imitate their unladylike appetites), and encourages them to come forward with their identities. For now, they remain anonymous.
Other News:
- Scorching Rivalry Leaves Sports Fans Burned At Tailgate
Before the Flyers/Grimmsocks baseball game yesterday, Grant Stadium's parking lot exploded in factional conflict. An AGI tailgater with heat-resistant hands reportedly flipped his charcoal grill onto passing jeering SERO fans, sending them to their affiliated hospital with 2nd degree burns. The Knights Flyers' shortstop, who scored their winning run in the 9th inning stretch, visited their loyal fans with a catcher's mitt signed by the entire team.
- Looking To Form Flash Mob Team!
People of all ages levels of dance experience welcome to join the fun! Time & Place for Dance Flash Mob TBA. Learn & practice routine at SPU's Student Center, Today at 4pm.
- Featured Auction Tomorrow @ Keelson's
Afterglow Inc. is auctioning twelve handpainted rickshaw bicycles, used as props in the recent filming of a Bollywood-style movie musical's opening number, to be released later this summer. Commute to work or start your own taxi business in an authentic piece of Siren's Port cinematic history! Bidding begins at noon.
----------
[ News Notification Thread]
Weather
Cloudy with a few showers in the morning. Afternoon sunny periods. 14°C and a low of 9°C (57°F/48°F)
Current Moon Phase: Waning Crescent
Morning sirens will go off at 5:20 am, and evening sirens will go off at 8:58 pm.
BRINGING HOME THE BACON
The article confirms that the kidnapping of a doctor last week was the work of Jason "Schweinmeister" Finnigan, widely considered to be the heir apparent to Beefeater McMason's meaty throne. Apparently furious that his own takeover attempt was aborted by the intervention of two Newcomers, he forced Dr. Tommy Aik to perform an extremely dangerous operation to give himself four extra stomachs.
Once healed, he proceeded to challenge the Newcomers to another eating contest, seizing the Sausage Party factory by the loins. Threatening to let all the factory's current supply rot unless they faced him for a showdown, he promised to “make ‘em squeal” like little piggies, all the way home.
It seems the Newcomers once again stepped up to the plate to put a stop to this hamfisted scheme. He was found and arrested Wednesday night in the middle of a pile of bratwurst and slop, stunned and apparently struck dumb with shock. According to one of his Piglets, the girls were heard to say the following on their way out:
"How’s them rinds, porky? Bitter, like the taste of defeat? Take that!”
"Wait, it's over already? I'm still pretty hungry..."
The article goes on to praise the pluck of these Newcomers (while adding that gels should not be inclined to imitate their unladylike appetites), and encourages them to come forward with their identities. For now, they remain anonymous.
Other News:
- Scorching Rivalry Leaves Sports Fans Burned At Tailgate
Before the Flyers/Grimmsocks baseball game yesterday, Grant Stadium's parking lot exploded in factional conflict. An AGI tailgater with heat-resistant hands reportedly flipped his charcoal grill onto passing jeering SERO fans, sending them to their affiliated hospital with 2nd degree burns. The Knights Flyers' shortstop, who scored their winning run in the 9th inning stretch, visited their loyal fans with a catcher's mitt signed by the entire team.
- Looking To Form Flash Mob Team!
People of all ages levels of dance experience welcome to join the fun! Time & Place for Dance Flash Mob TBA. Learn & practice routine at SPU's Student Center, Today at 4pm.
- Featured Auction Tomorrow @ Keelson's
Afterglow Inc. is auctioning twelve handpainted rickshaw bicycles, used as props in the recent filming of a Bollywood-style movie musical's opening number, to be released later this summer. Commute to work or start your own taxi business in an authentic piece of Siren's Port cinematic history! Bidding begins at noon.
----------
[ News Notification Thread]