One → [video]

[whoisjohnsmith]

[Haruhi's face is way too close to the camera to start with--all you can see is a large, gleaming eye--but soon the camera backs off a bit and she's fully visible, wearing her North High school uniform. She's been repressing both excitement and a touch of confusion and fear for a while now, going through the SERO medical examinations very politely

Comments

[painhumbles]

...You're kinda exuberant for someone who hung around that kid.

[whoisjohnsmith]

Who? Kyon? Yeah, he's a total lump and a waste of a good Brigade member position, but on the other hand, we do need drudges and menial labor.

[painhumbles]

Nope. Pull the other one. She had bells on. And by bells, I mean a lot of hardware.

[whoisjohnsmith]

...Geez, what does that even mean? Yuki had hardware bells on? If they had the Christmas party without me, too, I'm going to plunge them into eternal torment!

[painhumbles]

I'm gonna back up, and just tell you that your little girlfriend's a stalker. ..Not that she's done a lot of stalking here lately.

[whoisjohnsmith]

Really, Yuki? But Yuki is our indispensable silent member. A stalker... She was probably just following her mission mandate! A member in good standing of the SOS Brigade will undoubtedly stalk all kinds of supernatural phenomena that she encounters.

Whatever she was stalking, it must have been cool!

[painhumbles]

...It was me.

[whoisjohnsmith]

Really? But you don't look very cool.

Then again, it's definitely true that traditionally, looks can be deceiving! If you have a choice between a jewel-encrusted sword and a rusty-looking sword, you should always pick the second one!

[painhumbles]

You got me. I'm fooling everyone into thinking I'm just a Joe Schmo with great hair.

[whoisjohnsmith]

I knew it! Now that I've figured out your facade, you're legally obligated to reveal to me your true name!

[painhumbles]

[He is trying so hard not to crack up at this. See him deadpan like a boss.]

Gabriel.

[whoisjohnsmith]

Gabriel?

Drat, I was kind of hoping for something in an unpronounceable alien language...

Okay, Gabriel! Why was Yuki stalking you?

[painhumbles]

Because I can bend reality over backwards and make it my bitch. She figured she could phone home to her overlords or something using me as a conduit.

I told her to take a walk. Guess she did. I haven't seen her since.

[whoisjohnsmith]

Huh? Well, good for her! She made the effort, at least. That was totally appropriate behavior. I knew I could count on Yuki...

Well, even though the success or failure is what matters, ultimately. But I thought they said no one could escape the island's pull anyway.

Now, what exactly does bend reality over backwards mean? That could potentially be cool.

[painhumbles]

[He spreads his arms. This? This is his warehouse. It looks like a porn star's apartment. He snaps both his fingers and it shifts to something a little more post modern and pretentious. And he's wearing a smoking jacket and tooling around with a corncob pipe like a 50's sitcom dad.]

You think that's cool? You should see my club. Not really for the faint of heart and underage though.

[whoisjohnsmith]

[She does a double take and stares at the screen.]

Was that real?! It looked a lot like CGI! Okay, that's officially cool enough to qualify!

How did you get such powers? Did you seek out a strange artifact that granted you magic, but then discover that the magic was inside you all along? If so, that's the path I'm totally going to travel down!

[She's started waving her arms around a little, snapping her fingers. Nothing is happening.]