A lifetime of it. . .

[sirensfall]

When I think about the way I've felt, for no good reason, the past two nights, I realize that it is nothing new. I have spent my entire life afraid of something. Most of the time, it is just strangers, change, anything new. I remember hiding behind my mother when it came time to meet my kindergarden teacher. I've always been scared of failure,

Comments

[stinknyu]

in a way yes, a lack of activity probably can because for me its a feeling of void. the feeling of not accomplishing anything. i have to be working on something, moving, putting my hands to work. i feel depressed and useless if i'm not doing something. but even more its our own will and self esteem that triggers a lot of it. i still struggle with my long time depression but corey is a big help. even with my job at @ chkd i still feel unfullfilled. i feel it isn't me like i dont' belong. so i'm on the search for something else. HOWEVER!!! i am grateful and pleased at myself for at least giving it a shot and getting of my sorry ass to try. hey who said working at the big corperation is better anywho? its not like i'm making big bucks here or anything. so no worries, just get up and do something. even if its not exactly what you want for the moment. be proud of your decisions for they are yours and yours alone. take it as a learning experance and say fuck it; i tried and i can move on without regrets. it might help you feel better, i know it is for me.