(no subject)
Today, I went to the mail room three times. When I found nothing in my box, I wondered if I had somehow opened the wrong one and left the letter there without noticing it. Maybe I worry too much. I kind of feel like a sociopath.
I just got back from a weekend at home. I didn't expect it to be so pleasant. I missed driving on Ritchie Highway in cold weather. The summer felt so long that I had almost forgotten about it. Luckily, I had the chance to don my old Spalding hoodie (I left my college clothes here) and haunt the shopping center at night. Every time I think about that place, I think about one night last winter when my sister and I were driving to Annapolis to pick up Emily to see RENT. I just remember drinking coffee and looking out of the window and seeing all of the headlights in the dark. It's one of the few moments during which I can recall feeling completely peaceful. I miss winter. Fortunately, it's start to sneak up on Chestertown. I'm very excited about this.
I'm also beginning to notice that my grasp of the English language is slipping significantly. I recognize this may only be a personal opinion, but I find myself struggling to write coherently. Maybe those confusing philosophy courses are to blame. Whatever, I got an A on my first English paper.
I realize now that this is all very adolescent, and I don't care. This weekend I felt like a kid again, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm tired of putting on the appearance of some hardened, bitterly sarcastic adult who only makes good jokes when he's really depressed. I should be allowed to get upset over stupid things, and I reserve the right to laugh until I feel better. I don't want to live entirely for the future. It tends to screw over the present. I feel like I've said that before. I should probably be doing work now, but I don't feel like it. I have time tomorrow. There will always be work, and I can't let myself get stressed all the time. I miss my sister. I need to lose more weight. I'm kind of dreading getting too distracted this weekend.
I suppose I've happened upon the main reason why I've made this journal: to bitch about things that I'll probably forget in a week or less.
Still, it's nice to look back on former angst and laugh. I don't care how ridiculously childish my rants will be. I just need an outlet. I'm not trying to produce literary gold.
Positive Thoughts of the Day:
I'm hopefully going to Brooklyn during Fall Break. I can't wait. I sat alone in the basement lounge and played guitar for about an hour today. I also slept for the most of the afternoon just because I could. This is my life, and I don't care about analyzing the philosophical implications of that statement. I just want to feel human, and I think I'm taking a step in the right direction here. Most likely, I'm going to survive this week regardless of what I do. I have no reason to be afraid. It's not going to kill me, so I might as well make the most of it.
Next four years, let's do this thing.
I just got back from a weekend at home. I didn't expect it to be so pleasant. I missed driving on Ritchie Highway in cold weather. The summer felt so long that I had almost forgotten about it. Luckily, I had the chance to don my old Spalding hoodie (I left my college clothes here) and haunt the shopping center at night. Every time I think about that place, I think about one night last winter when my sister and I were driving to Annapolis to pick up Emily to see RENT. I just remember drinking coffee and looking out of the window and seeing all of the headlights in the dark. It's one of the few moments during which I can recall feeling completely peaceful. I miss winter. Fortunately, it's start to sneak up on Chestertown. I'm very excited about this.
I'm also beginning to notice that my grasp of the English language is slipping significantly. I recognize this may only be a personal opinion, but I find myself struggling to write coherently. Maybe those confusing philosophy courses are to blame. Whatever, I got an A on my first English paper.
I realize now that this is all very adolescent, and I don't care. This weekend I felt like a kid again, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm tired of putting on the appearance of some hardened, bitterly sarcastic adult who only makes good jokes when he's really depressed. I should be allowed to get upset over stupid things, and I reserve the right to laugh until I feel better. I don't want to live entirely for the future. It tends to screw over the present. I feel like I've said that before. I should probably be doing work now, but I don't feel like it. I have time tomorrow. There will always be work, and I can't let myself get stressed all the time. I miss my sister. I need to lose more weight. I'm kind of dreading getting too distracted this weekend.
I suppose I've happened upon the main reason why I've made this journal: to bitch about things that I'll probably forget in a week or less.
Still, it's nice to look back on former angst and laugh. I don't care how ridiculously childish my rants will be. I just need an outlet. I'm not trying to produce literary gold.
Positive Thoughts of the Day:
I'm hopefully going to Brooklyn during Fall Break. I can't wait. I sat alone in the basement lounge and played guitar for about an hour today. I also slept for the most of the afternoon just because I could. This is my life, and I don't care about analyzing the philosophical implications of that statement. I just want to feel human, and I think I'm taking a step in the right direction here. Most likely, I'm going to survive this week regardless of what I do. I have no reason to be afraid. It's not going to kill me, so I might as well make the most of it.
Next four years, let's do this thing.