Supernatural Fic: Abandoned
I swear I'm working on some other more dramatic hurt/comfort Supernatural stories. One in particular I'm working on is Dean helping Sam with his demon blood withdrawal. But those get intense, and sometimes I need a break. A friend asked for a gift fic, and sometimes those just write themselves. Here's what my fever-induced brain wrote now.
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Interesting thought with Caleb taking to John in an almost surrogate father capacity - you did so well portraying just how badly Caleb was in need of that. Caleb feeling both responsible for his parents and feeling responsible for making sure the same loss didn’t come to John’s boys and that intense guilt / feeling of responsibility spilling over here with the fear that he would be left alone.
Can’t even tell you how bad I need reactionary from the boys on this. I think it’s interesting because I was reading the comments about this one on spn_spankings and you mentioned that you write all your stories as if they take place in the same ‘verse. If that’s the case, what I really find interesting here is John’s reaction to Caleb - that he reached out and offered that comfort to him.
Maybe I need to reread part 3 of ‘Scorch Marks’ (like that would be a major tribulation ;)) I have a tendency to make things worse for Dean in my head then they happened on show or fan fiction and I know John is in a bad place in that one, but he was pretty darn fired up here too and by my memory he seemed far more willing to extend comfort to Caleb here than he had been to Dean in ‘Scorch Marks’. May just be wishful thinking on my part.
There’s also the fact that John laid into Caleb in front of the boys (presumably to make a point) and then just left them (presumably mortified / in shock) in the room while he attended to Caleb. Obviously Caleb needed the aftercare, but your mention of the story being about its effect on Dean just got my hurt!Dean brain into hyper drive...
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I love it so very much about Supernatural's hunters too! I had to think about what I wanted Caleb's backstory to be. I thought about it being someone he was romantically involved with being killed, but Bobby lost his wife and I wanted something different, and I feel that it seems he's worked with John a long time and I wanted to start him into hunting pretty young. That left parents. I was going to have had him lost both of his parents at the same time to monsters, but I liked the idea of hunting with his dad and kind of looking for a surrogate dad in John. I also like that it opens up a lot of possibilities. What does Caleb think of John raising the boys as hunters and taking them on fights when he was raised that way too? What does he think of John not keeping himself safer for the boys? What would Dean think of Caleb losing his father? What especially would Dean think if he learned HOW Caleb lost his father. I left myself a lot of room to play later if I wanted.
Can’t even tell you how bad I need reactionary from the boys on this.
You've had me thinking about this all day long at work. I think it might happen. I'd thought of writing more Caleb, but I realized that I probably do need to write a response from Dean's POV. I liked what I was doing to him and hinting at to the reader's, but I think I do need to write it out, what seeing this did to him. Might happen. Still might write some more Caleb or John POV too.
You mentioned that you write all your stories as if they take place in the same ‘verse.
Yes, I do. All of my stories are intended to fit together. The teddy bear from "Teddy Bear Doctors" manages to show up in just about every fic. The paddle from "Scorch Marks" is used in "Over the Impala." Dean's getting paddled at school for fighting over a girl in "Scorch Marks" ties into Sammy's punishment in "Texas Blues." Sometimes I mess up a detail or two because maybe something occurs to me later or I see something in a new light, but I tend for them all to fit together.
Comment over limit???? You've got to be kidding me. Continued *grrr*
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I would really, really love to see more from Caleb too - Caleb’s views on the how John is raising his boys would be very interesting. I also couldn’t think of a proper way to express this last night, but I wonder about Dean’s reaction to the fact that his Dad took a belt to Caleb for saving his Dad’s life. I’m assuming that Dean being Dean is just going to try to tell himself that Dad is right and Caleb was wrong, but Dean has to be thinking about if he’d been in Caleb’s position - would he break rank if he thought it would save John?
I’d love more of absolutely anyone’s POV here - it’s an interesting dynamic you’ve set up with the almost third son there.
All of my stories are intended to fit together.
I find that really interesting. I have a few different ‘verses that of course are all interconnected, but most my stories wouldn’t come close to fitting together. That’s a fun way to do it though and mean’s I’m going to have to go through and read all your SPN fics to make sure I’m getting the whole story.
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YES! I really love leaving questions running around in a reader's head. How would Dean interpret all of this? I have my opinions, but I love seeing what other people think.
I’m going to have to go through and read all your SPN fics to make sure I’m getting the whole story.
If it helps, I have a Master List of my fanfics. They're in chronological order of the time the stories occur (canon time, not when written).
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Oh please do! Compare the scenes side by side. I really love this kind of thing!!! Let's not only over-analyze the show, but let's do it with my fic too. Yes please!
I think you'll be very, very fascinated by what you find. John is actually pretty consistent. But John did physically comfort Dean a bit MORE than Caleb, actually. John gave Dean a full-on emotional hug in "Scorch Marks." He only gave Caleb a half-hug arm around him, somewhere between a true hug and a more fraternal 'hey you're all right' gesture. The difference you'll find is not in the spanker, but in the spankee and the POV. Caleb is so very desperate for any kind of affection at all that he interprets an arm around his shoulder as "John really cares about me." But Dean is so hard on himself he interprets a strong hug as "Wow, Dad's really acting weird but this feels nice." In both cases, John tells the boys when they are expected to report in again and sends them off to bed. Dean responds to the order, and John lets him go. Caleb is too disoriented here from his flashback to respond to the order, and John realizes Caleb needs some more aftercare. I think the responses fit with what was going on the boys' heads at the time. I'd be really curious to hear what you think after re-reading the two scenes.
but your mention of the story being about its effect on Dean just got my hurt!Dean brain into hyper drive...
That was intentional. I kind of wanted to leave the reader wondering about the effects of this on Dean, but I think you're right, I really should spell it out. The belt here was quite traumatic, but that's not the part that's going to affect Dean the most. What I really wanted to highlight here was the abandonment issues and how this might play into Dean's mind as well. Caleb disobeyed a direct order from John, and John's first response is to leave him. Of course we understand that John's just trying to protect Caleb, that if Caleb is going to ignore orders for his safety and place himself in danger on hunts, then he shouldn't be hunting with John. But from fourteen year old Dean's POV, Dean that's already lost his mother, who probably already has a lot of abandonment issues because Dad leaves him alone so often . . . Dean saw Caleb disobey an order and Dad was willing to leave him right there. Disobey and you'll be abandoned. But Caleb begged and John gave him another chance. Instead John beat Caleb. Being beaten meant John hadn't given up on him, wasn't going to abandon him yet. There's so much room for so many twisted things to go on in Dean's head here.
and then just left them (presumably mortified / in shock) in the room while he attended to Caleb. Obviously Caleb needed the aftercare...
I think John tends to attend to the most obvious problem and forget about what he might be doing to others involved. It just seems to me he seems to forget about how things might affect Dean a lot. He didn't send the boys out of the room for the punishment on purpose so they would understand how serious obeying on a hunt was, but the leaving them alone after, that was just him getting distracted and forgetting that the boys might need some care then too.
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I have a gift for overanalyzing everything so certainly can’t resist. I did re-read part 3 and this one, but got totally side tracked by the fact that you posted part 4 and I somehow totally missed it! But that’s a different comment.
And it’s true, Dean did get more of a hug than Caleb. In my head I was imagining more happening with Caleb than was actually happening (past the end of the story just like I mentioned doing with ‘Asylum’) and in ‘Scorch Marks’ part 3 for some reason John telling Dean to go to bed had stuck out more in my memory than him hugging him. Reading it again, I’m not sure why that was.
The difference you'll find is not in the spanker, but in the spankee and the POV.
Bingo. I think that it is that ‘Abandoned’ came off as feeling warmer because of Caleb’s reaction of feeling a support system he thought he’d lost / hadn’t had for a long time whereas Dean’s reaction is distant, which is of course very Dean. It’s almost as if the physical contact is there, but the connection between John and Dean isn’t whereas Caleb was so heavily leaning on John and John’s focus was so fully on Caleb.
Caleb disobeyed a direct order from John, and John's first response is to leave him.
Excellent point. Somehow I didn’t even think of that one, though I was still too busy having fun with all the other potentials I surely would have eventually worked to that one which is so supremely appropriate. That Dean would equate being beaten to not only something he deserves, but something that is telling him John hasn’t given up on him is so spot on for where I love to play with Dean. And it’s thinking like that that makes your Dean stories so delicious (and of course every story that has Dean in it is a ‘Dean story’ from my POV ;))
It just seems to me he seems to forget about how things might affect Dean a lot.
After having just read part 4 of ‘Scorch Marks’ I do see John focusing on the boys last as a reoccurring theme in your stories, which I didn’t think about that much before, but which really does fit for his single-minded focus on the hunt. I think it’s true that the bad he did to the boys was unintentional, that he was just too focused on other things. For some reason I can’t phrase this right...but it almost feels like he’s actively avoiding the boys. Not consciously, but that he’s full heartedly putting his focus into other things and the boys are just kind of there...just this total disconnect like he’s as much running away from something as running towards his revenge.
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Oh good. I always thought you didn't comment because you didn't like it. I would really like to hear your thoughts on my version of John there.
‘Abandoned’ came off as feeling warmer because of Caleb’s reaction of feeling a support system he thought he’d lost / hadn’t had for a long time whereas Dean’s reaction is distant, which is of course very Dean.
That's actually what I was going for.
Somehow I didn’t even think of that one
Sigh, I've utterly failed an author. But maybe I can still bring out what I intended in a sequel. If I can get into it.
That Dean would equate being beaten to not only something he deserves, but something that is telling him John hasn’t given up on him
This is, in essence, my Dean. He's that desperate for attention, that afraid of being abandoned.
And it’s thinking like that that makes your Dean stories so delicious
Well this is good.
I do see John focusing on the boys last as a reoccurring theme in your stories, which I didn’t think about that much before, but which really does fit for his single-minded focus on the hunt.
I don't think it's that he's not thinking about the boys or not caring about the boys, but rather that he doesn't understand what the boys need or what's best for them. He forgets that they're children and not little soldiers. He forgets that they need snuggles and to be cuddled and babied a little bit. He thinks that he's put the things into place that they'll be fine, but really he's neglecting them and doesn't even realize it.
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