(no subject)
i was trying so hard not to make this post i really was. but i was at work today and i just felt like crying for no reason jus couldn't shake that feeling you know? and so obviously this got to me more than i let show or even thought and i can't keep this in anymore. i just can't. and i can't keep having this crap pop up in my life i really can't. i'm only one person you know? i do eventually break. and so here it is
i'm tired. so fucking tired of giving my all to friendships that are deceiving. i'm tired of being there for someone 110 fucking percent and then not having them there for me. i don't know how to be a better friend and i thought that i was but apparently not. and it just kills me that it seems to always come down to this cause for me my friends are my fucking family but apparently for some people that's not how it is. i can't do this anymore. i've felt the distance caving in and it's suffocating. and if this leaves me with no real friends anymore - with a few being the exception - then fine so be it. guess i'll just have to live that way then won't i?
so here's it is my ultimatum:
i'm tired of being THE ONLY ONE to try to keep this friendship afloat. i'm more than tired of texting/calling/IMing you and either getting no response, no call back, or one word conversations. and i am more than tired of being told "hey i'll call you back" and then you never do.
SO I'M NOT DOING IT ANYMORE. GOT IT? i'm not going to be the one to call and i'm not going to be the only one to try to keep this thing afloat. if you don't hear from me for a long ass time well then guess what this applies to you now doesn't it? go figure. you want to keep this alive? get your ass in gear and make some effort it's not that damn hard. i should know.
oh and that whole no facebook thing? GET OVER IT!!! so i don't have a fucking facebook it's no excuse for you to not contact me let alone when major life changing shit happens in your life!! i'm sorry that i have no real interest in facebook. i don't. get over it. for those who don't use LJ anymore i still make the effort to keep them updated you could do the same damn thing. really you could. i mean i'm pretty fucking sure we kept in contact all those years before facebook even popped up on the web. and just like myspace is dying facebook eventually will too once the next big whatever comes around so what are you going to do then?
if you feel this wasn't meant for you then guess what it prolly wasn't just move on and ignore it. if it pisses you the fuck off then guess what it prolly was targeted right at you so just suck it up. and if it leaves me with no one sitting alone at home on a Friday night well guess what i already do that guess i'll oh gosh i dunno get over that one too. and if you're pissed off that i had the "balls" to even say that well get over it cause if you're looking for the girl who hide in a shell shy as all get out then you're oh i dunno 7 years too late and you really need to get past that. but i will not cry my eyes out anymore for friendships that are obviously not worth it. funny wonder if in that case it was even a friendship at all....
i'm tired. so fucking tired of giving my all to friendships that are deceiving. i'm tired of being there for someone 110 fucking percent and then not having them there for me. i don't know how to be a better friend and i thought that i was but apparently not. and it just kills me that it seems to always come down to this cause for me my friends are my fucking family but apparently for some people that's not how it is. i can't do this anymore. i've felt the distance caving in and it's suffocating. and if this leaves me with no real friends anymore - with a few being the exception - then fine so be it. guess i'll just have to live that way then won't i?
so here's it is my ultimatum:
i'm tired of being THE ONLY ONE to try to keep this friendship afloat. i'm more than tired of texting/calling/IMing you and either getting no response, no call back, or one word conversations. and i am more than tired of being told "hey i'll call you back" and then you never do.
SO I'M NOT DOING IT ANYMORE. GOT IT? i'm not going to be the one to call and i'm not going to be the only one to try to keep this thing afloat. if you don't hear from me for a long ass time well then guess what this applies to you now doesn't it? go figure. you want to keep this alive? get your ass in gear and make some effort it's not that damn hard. i should know.
oh and that whole no facebook thing? GET OVER IT!!! so i don't have a fucking facebook it's no excuse for you to not contact me let alone when major life changing shit happens in your life!! i'm sorry that i have no real interest in facebook. i don't. get over it. for those who don't use LJ anymore i still make the effort to keep them updated you could do the same damn thing. really you could. i mean i'm pretty fucking sure we kept in contact all those years before facebook even popped up on the web. and just like myspace is dying facebook eventually will too once the next big whatever comes around so what are you going to do then?
if you feel this wasn't meant for you then guess what it prolly wasn't just move on and ignore it. if it pisses you the fuck off then guess what it prolly was targeted right at you so just suck it up. and if it leaves me with no one sitting alone at home on a Friday night well guess what i already do that guess i'll oh gosh i dunno get over that one too. and if you're pissed off that i had the "balls" to even say that well get over it cause if you're looking for the girl who hide in a shell shy as all get out then you're oh i dunno 7 years too late and you really need to get past that. but i will not cry my eyes out anymore for friendships that are obviously not worth it. funny wonder if in that case it was even a friendship at all....