Watching Marcus Aurelius' army kick the shit out of the Germanians
I'd sprinkle the grapefruit with sugar and eat until i realized that i don't like grapefruit, i'd take the sponge down to that weird corner store and see if i could trade it for some mint oreos. I'd drink the rum but save a little for the parrot, which would find a new home on top of the television set because what he really wants to be is a penquin.