"the hot list"
i recently learned that i'm on "the hot list" at work.
and i was a hundred kinds of excited about this until i got to thinking about what that really means. this "hot list" is composed of girls, that are considered "bone-worthy" by the gentlemen of rainforest cafe. we are the work "hotties" and thereofre we get hit on and complimented and propositioned and more than a few suggestive comments are thrown our way. this is all fine as far as i'm concerned.
what is NOT fine is how goddanmed excited i am to be on this stupid fucking list.
maybe i'm so excited because i've never been popular. all through preschool and elementary school and junior high and high school, i was never popular. sure, people knew who i was, but i was never POPULAR by conventional standards. i'd have a group of friends that would vary in size, depending on whether or not i was on the outs with someone that week or not. but there was no large-scale wanting. certainly not for me. and maybe i'm excited because i've had SHIT luck with boys since....my sophomore year of college. maybe i'm so bitter and jaded and i think being wanted sexually is better than not being wanted at all. or maybe i'm so far gone that i have repleace being wanted in a relationship sense with being wanted for sex. and that's just sad and depressing, but also probably true.
boo-urns.
and i was a hundred kinds of excited about this until i got to thinking about what that really means. this "hot list" is composed of girls, that are considered "bone-worthy" by the gentlemen of rainforest cafe. we are the work "hotties" and thereofre we get hit on and complimented and propositioned and more than a few suggestive comments are thrown our way. this is all fine as far as i'm concerned.
what is NOT fine is how goddanmed excited i am to be on this stupid fucking list.
maybe i'm so excited because i've never been popular. all through preschool and elementary school and junior high and high school, i was never popular. sure, people knew who i was, but i was never POPULAR by conventional standards. i'd have a group of friends that would vary in size, depending on whether or not i was on the outs with someone that week or not. but there was no large-scale wanting. certainly not for me. and maybe i'm excited because i've had SHIT luck with boys since....my sophomore year of college. maybe i'm so bitter and jaded and i think being wanted sexually is better than not being wanted at all. or maybe i'm so far gone that i have repleace being wanted in a relationship sense with being wanted for sex. and that's just sad and depressing, but also probably true.
boo-urns.