PORN.
my hometown is about 40 minutes northwest from downtown chicago. it's pretty. it's green. it's full of affluent families and is known as one of the wealthier northwestern suburbs. this, of course, is a fact i was largely unaware of until VERY recently, especially when one considers my very own subdivision: in the first link...the "official" schaumburg site, there is a link about "residents" with some a picture of houses next to it - the little red brick ranch house that shows up is on my street. it's dinky. i never knew the town was rich until i heard what that particular red brick 3 bedroom ranch sold for (somewhere around $350thousand). so i supposed the whole "schaumburg is rich" theory makes perfect sense, given the local industry of MAKING SHITTONS OF MONEY.
anyway. i love my hometown. i've lived there my whole life, and even though i've spent the past 3 years "appreciating" urbana, i really and truly can't picture living anywhere else but schaumpton.
however, as nice as my town is, and as much as i like it, it's staunchly conservative and full of old people who will call the police if you look at their perfectly manicured lawns (courtesy of some local landscaping company) the wrong way. it's full of yippy dogs and new couples with new babies who don't entirely know how to cope with everything all the time. it's full of uptight sexually-repressed soccer moms who drive BRAND NEW SUVS (because they're rich, remember?) or old beater minivans, full of their terrible affluent little monsters, which they unleash upon the mall/sports complexes, complete with cellphone plans and designer jeans, to be picked up "RIGHT HERE IN TWO HOURS."
so when i heard via andrea's journal that a HARDCORE PORN STORE had opened in my little thumb-up-its-ass hometown, you can bet your butts that i laughed for a good 20 minutes about that.
when i go home for thanksgiving break, i will be visiting this store for sure. and it will be so awesome.
anyway. i love my hometown. i've lived there my whole life, and even though i've spent the past 3 years "appreciating" urbana, i really and truly can't picture living anywhere else but schaumpton.
however, as nice as my town is, and as much as i like it, it's staunchly conservative and full of old people who will call the police if you look at their perfectly manicured lawns (courtesy of some local landscaping company) the wrong way. it's full of yippy dogs and new couples with new babies who don't entirely know how to cope with everything all the time. it's full of uptight sexually-repressed soccer moms who drive BRAND NEW SUVS (because they're rich, remember?) or old beater minivans, full of their terrible affluent little monsters, which they unleash upon the mall/sports complexes, complete with cellphone plans and designer jeans, to be picked up "RIGHT HERE IN TWO HOURS."
so when i heard via andrea's journal that a HARDCORE PORN STORE had opened in my little thumb-up-its-ass hometown, you can bet your butts that i laughed for a good 20 minutes about that.
when i go home for thanksgiving break, i will be visiting this store for sure. and it will be so awesome.