scamming.
i've been too damned busy this summer to "go out" much, which is unfortunate, because i'm all legal and shit these days. which, i have to say, is more than slightly awesome.
anyway, on friday night, the lovely emboz and myself decided to get all prettied up and go out and get wasted. so we did. we started at the alumni club, where our waitress had no idea what was going on, and charged us for drinks we certainly did not order, which put a sort of damper on things. so we left that place (but not before ordering TATER TOTS) and headed over to durty nellies, in palatine, to meet up with some people and watch this killer 80's cover band, do their thing and sing songs that everyone knew all the words to.
anyway, while we're dancing, em and i notice some really creepy older guy checking us out, and we're more than a little bit repulsed. so we decide to move away from the guy and get all dancey on some of our guy friends in hopes that creepy guy will get the idea. and for a while it seems to work, and we return to where we were. unfortunately, creepy old guy takes note of this and resumes his creepy staring. em and i panic a bit, and decide to ask the two EXCEEDINGLY HOT GUYS that happen to be standing THREE FEET AWAY if they will be our best friends for the next few minutes so creepy guy will go away again.
em, being the more sober one, did all the talking, and i drunkenly zoned out to the music. next thing i know, em is grabbing my arm and we are HAULING ASS OUT OF THERE. once outside i ask her what the hell just happened, and she relays the conversation to me:"well, i told them about the creepy guy, and pointed him out to them, and one of them looks at me and says, 'that guy? HE'S MY DAD!' so i give him a minute to say, 'haha, just kidding' only he doesn't do it! instead he says, 'WERE YOU SCAMMING MY DAD???' and then i grabbed you and ran."
what are the odds of that happening to anyone? and WHO brings their creepy old dad to a club full of pretty people? gross, gross, gross.
anyway, since i was entirely too incapacitated to sleep or drive or do much of anything, i called someone and made him take me to steak & shake. i have yet to determine whether or not this was a good idea, but it doesn't seem to be biting me in the ass just yet.
and yesterday em and i went to the track, and one of the jockeys calls out to me, "you are the perfect size! you shoulda been a jockey."
dude, i know.
anyway, on friday night, the lovely emboz and myself decided to get all prettied up and go out and get wasted. so we did. we started at the alumni club, where our waitress had no idea what was going on, and charged us for drinks we certainly did not order, which put a sort of damper on things. so we left that place (but not before ordering TATER TOTS) and headed over to durty nellies, in palatine, to meet up with some people and watch this killer 80's cover band, do their thing and sing songs that everyone knew all the words to.
anyway, while we're dancing, em and i notice some really creepy older guy checking us out, and we're more than a little bit repulsed. so we decide to move away from the guy and get all dancey on some of our guy friends in hopes that creepy guy will get the idea. and for a while it seems to work, and we return to where we were. unfortunately, creepy old guy takes note of this and resumes his creepy staring. em and i panic a bit, and decide to ask the two EXCEEDINGLY HOT GUYS that happen to be standing THREE FEET AWAY if they will be our best friends for the next few minutes so creepy guy will go away again.
em, being the more sober one, did all the talking, and i drunkenly zoned out to the music. next thing i know, em is grabbing my arm and we are HAULING ASS OUT OF THERE. once outside i ask her what the hell just happened, and she relays the conversation to me:"well, i told them about the creepy guy, and pointed him out to them, and one of them looks at me and says, 'that guy? HE'S MY DAD!' so i give him a minute to say, 'haha, just kidding' only he doesn't do it! instead he says, 'WERE YOU SCAMMING MY DAD???' and then i grabbed you and ran."
what are the odds of that happening to anyone? and WHO brings their creepy old dad to a club full of pretty people? gross, gross, gross.
anyway, since i was entirely too incapacitated to sleep or drive or do much of anything, i called someone and made him take me to steak & shake. i have yet to determine whether or not this was a good idea, but it doesn't seem to be biting me in the ass just yet.
and yesterday em and i went to the track, and one of the jockeys calls out to me, "you are the perfect size! you shoulda been a jockey."
dude, i know.