(no subject)
for the first time since deciding on how things are going to be, i actually feel single.
i don't like it. i don't know how i expected to feel, but this isn't it.
perhaps i also feel alienated.
tonight i had a nervous attack, again. this time in the form of extremely heightened sensory perception. physical sensations, sights, and sounds all affected my brain in some odd way; i was simultaneously drawn to and repulsed by smooth objects. the shape of the cat, the way the light played off its form, irritated me. the sound of multiple people's voices at the same time split my attention in an indescribable way.
these are not normal things.
am i insane?
i don't like it. i don't know how i expected to feel, but this isn't it.
perhaps i also feel alienated.
tonight i had a nervous attack, again. this time in the form of extremely heightened sensory perception. physical sensations, sights, and sounds all affected my brain in some odd way; i was simultaneously drawn to and repulsed by smooth objects. the shape of the cat, the way the light played off its form, irritated me. the sound of multiple people's voices at the same time split my attention in an indescribable way.
these are not normal things.
am i insane?