I Don't Know What to Do
Ok, so this stress has been building in my head but i need to vent somewhere and i dont feel as guilty sharing my thoughts with a faceless journal that no one reads, except for one person...whom i kinda hope doesnt have to read all my crap, but i can only pray, i guess. So anyhow, the past week or so have been beyond shitty. I cant even describe the fatigue i feel all over my body, especially after this last weekend. I could have sworn i paid my price with my shoulder burning out and my having to deal with retarded employees that kepts me at work, working my ass off for an extra fucking 2 hours, but no. I have an ok monday just to wake up to a truck that doesnt fuckin work on tuesday. I cant even figure out what is wrong and now I'm spending an extra $60 i never had anyway just taking wild guesses. I'm about a week behind in the only 2 classes i have to try in and i cant even make it up because of my god forsaken truck and my other obligations. And you know, you would think that after walking to and from school didnt make me bitter enough (this is the Icing on the cake and out of all sincerety I not only want you to keep this information to yourself [and i am dead fucking serious] but i need help because im scared to fucking death because) on Wednesday night i find out that my sister is hella depressed for a reason she wont talk to me about and apparently she attempted suicide weakly and wanted me to stay up late with her because she got afraid and wanted me to help her. So i dont know a better way to wake up on a thursday, than to 'wake up' after only a few hours of not worrying, or to wake up expecting a dead sister in the room next to you. So lets just say my head and body are really goddamn close to exploding and i think this 'peice' is me exploding. I dont know if im furious or about to cry. I cant tell the difference anymore. I dont know what to do.