The Hacienda must be built
“And you, forgotten, your memories ravaged by all the consternations of two hemispheres, stranded in the Red Cellars of Pali-Kao, without music and without geography, no longer setting out for the hacienda where the roots think of the child and where the wine is finished off with fables from an old almanac. That’s all over. You’ll never see the hacienda. It doesn’t exist.
The hacienda must be built.”
Ivan Chtcheglov
Despite spending far too much time on the net surfing of late I’ve not really been in the right headspace to do anything productive with it such as replying to comments/emails etc so I’ve effectively been using it to kill time because its easier messing about on it to reading a book or learning latin or something.
Well this weekend has been rather good, went to Catherine and Hazel’s for a BBQ, caught the sun, got drunk, managed to wear Hazel’s ski coat which I am in love with, got invited to Christmas back up north, got the loft ladder installed, discovered bopped and reached a tipping point with my health…
I’ve been getting away with my health for some time now, I’ve had an alcoholic drink every day for the past month or two, eaten rubbish and been secretly elated if I manage to get out of going to the gym in the evening. It’s all caught up with me though and I feel my system is in a right mess, I only haven’t tackled it early because I am not massively over weight and it is the vanity that makes me address things first! This weekend though has taught me enough is enough so I’m going to really cut down on drink and eat better food and exercise. I have always been freaked out by how men let themselves go or play Russian roulette with their health and I am not going to be one of those, lately though it’s dawned on me how much its effecting me and stopping me doing stuff I want to do. I didn’t really notice too much because I have been generally very positive about the future and although I have not had great self esteem about my physical state of late and feeling fat and unattractive I’ve not paid as much attention to is as I should, especially as I focused on Loulou’s health issues more. Trying to get up on Saturday morning though I realised that I need to sort myself out and stop getting distracted so I don’t have to stop drinking red wine every evening! I also have a bad habit or not taking responsibility for things and being too laid back or lazy. Certainly the best way to look after Loulou and cheer her up is for me to be as fit as a fiddle, that and exercising my mind to ward of persistent procrastination. For heavens sake I need to get my life sorted before I hit 30! why do I never chase my dreams and desires with more persistance. I have been so flukey with my life so far but really all the achivements I have had so far have been with practically no effort from me. If I just take courage then I could really be a contender.
All this is going to have to start on Tuesday though as we are going for a really unhealthy meal/piss up with Catherine and Hazel and Catherine’s parents tomorrow, it’s a tradition the six of us do when we are all together in London and also me and Loulou want to treat Kevin for helping us out with all his handwork to the flat - yes it was mostly him that installed the loft ladders!