illness, updates, gay weddings, not being the youngest and booking our holiday
Ok, I’m not going to start this entry by saying how I’ve cracked it and from now on I will always managed to update my journal, as that just mean things go tits up, first the laptop broke and then all last week I was really ill so I couldn’t write anything.
I hate being ill for a number of reasons, besides it being horrible I’ve been off work, as I am a temp This is a financial disaster for me as I don’t get paid when I’m off. I also worry that people think I’m faking it and think I’m trying to wriggle out of something, so I’m laying in bed feeling rotten, not getting paid and feeling paranoid. The timing of illness is always crap too, I mean I’m ill just as loads of interesting social things are going to happen or cool people want to meet up with us (again I always worry that people think I’m snubbing them or I’m not interested in doing stuff)
I was wanting to meet up with tonight-we-fly, me and Loulou have been desperate to meet up with him since well before xmas, its ridiculous that we are drifting into March and we still haven’t met up for drinks and intense chat about indie music/footy and emotions. There’s also a lovely couple who invited us for a meal and to do some photography and teach us some rope techniques which sounds like an ideal weekend, I just hope they don’t think that we are not interested. Also I’m never ill when the cricket is on, again this is bad timing, if I was ill next week I could have met up with everyone and then drank tea wrapped up as I watched the first test against India. Bah humbug!
On the plus side of being ill, Loulou was ill at the same time so she stayed off with me, we couldn’t really do anything but it was nice to be with her in the week, but even more thrilling than that we both lost quiet a bit of weight! So I’m chuffed to bits!
Right I had better give brief updates and what I have been up to since I last updated. We went to a gay wedding which was great, Loulou went in a corset and lots of leopard print she was amazingly camp and looked spectacular, especially with the hat she was wearing. Surprisingly for a gay wedding I wasn’t hit upon by any of the blokes, usually I always seem to get attention from the men, not totally sure why, I’m cool with it but why don’t I get attention from the women?! That would be much nicer! Lol having said that, one lady turned up that we hadn’t seen in ages, whom is fond of me and Loulou. Last time we met it was just us three in the back bedroom of a house warming party chatting intently and taking class A’s and it was lovely. We had a bit of a shock when we met her again as she had lost so much weight. Anyway when she turned up she was obviously taken by Loulou who as ever was looking ravishing and she then kept complimenting me, which flummoxed me a little, though it was very funny looking back.
Its funny with some people in life that you meet, you just get this bizarre feeling that they are really important to you in some way, and they should be in your life more, its difficult to explain but I felt it really strongly with her and it was on a mental level (it had nothing to do with the fact she had massive breasts!) I hope its something that can be developed upon and we get to see more of her, though things were sullied a little by the fact our coke went missing and Loulou suspects she took it. hmmm
I’m usually the youngest person at these types of parties, as I am a little younger than Loulou and her gang, however this is no longer the case, the young and dashing James, one of the newer people into the fold is a good few years younger than me so I no longer have my uniqueness, which is rather depressing, I’ve realised I’ve lost my special talent, my unique selling point as I’ve aged, but I’ve not got any of the benefits of age such as knowledge or maturity, I’ve messed up! I need another gimmick!
That’s pretty much the only thing we have been up to really, what with being ill and everything. We went to the London munch on Friday night, I always look forward to this and yet every time its shite, the drinks are awful, and the place is far to crowded, it takes ages to move anywhere and more often than not you get trapped by colossally dull people and can’t escape, what makes it all the more frustrating is that Loulou keeps getting poached from me ‘for a girlie chat’ or something which naturally doesn’t include me, (I hate this closed club mentality, blokes never whisk a chap off for a manly conversation) so I’m not even in her company.
I just thank god for the legend that is Stuart who is always top notch company and one of the few people on the scene who are actually worth bothering with, an interesting guy for several reasons, its impossible to be in his company and feel your wasting your evening, he does Stirling work at the munch which is generally over run with terribly odious people, even if a lot of them are technically ‘nice’
He is an amazingly self contained gentleman though with a cast iron persona, you can tell he is a sweetie but that’s it. I wish I was more self contained like him, but that will never happen, despite my secretive nature (he says in a public blog lol) my flaws and vulnerability are visible easily from the outside, I know that I will always be like this, the inability to grow a thicker skin has haunted me in the past but now I’ve come to terms with it, perhaps it will be useful in some way in the future, perhaps it will keep me in check from getting to big for my boots! Or perhaps it will just feed my artwork with insecurity and neediness!
I’ve come to the conclusion that the flat is Hexed. There’s something about it that drains me of resolve, energy and the ability to do absolutely anything. The weekend that’s just been was fab, we went out and about doing stuff on both days, had a great time, was full of happiness and joy, yet when we got back to the flat, it just drained away, we became rudderless and just slouched around going on the net and doing bugger all. I’m sure there’s something in there working against us there. In theory I love staying in and just longing around and messing about, watching films, playing with Loulou. Yet when it comes down to it, the flats so horrid and oppressive, I just cant settle I don’t even want to snuggle up and watch a film, let alone do something that actually takes effort or use my imagination.
To finish the update, Loulou’s booked our holiday for 6 days away in New York in March, which we are really looking forward too! Its very exciting I cant wait, just what we need, I’m looking forward to doing all the art galleries and looking at the art deco buildings, eating far too much and checking out all the historical music and popular culture places where the events happened. I’m also really looking forward to being able to treat myself to a few items, its not often I’m in a position where I can just treat myself so that will be a nice change, plus everything’s cheaper out there so my money will go further! Hurrah, as Alan Partridge would say, ‘Back of the net’
I hate being ill for a number of reasons, besides it being horrible I’ve been off work, as I am a temp This is a financial disaster for me as I don’t get paid when I’m off. I also worry that people think I’m faking it and think I’m trying to wriggle out of something, so I’m laying in bed feeling rotten, not getting paid and feeling paranoid. The timing of illness is always crap too, I mean I’m ill just as loads of interesting social things are going to happen or cool people want to meet up with us (again I always worry that people think I’m snubbing them or I’m not interested in doing stuff)
I was wanting to meet up with tonight-we-fly, me and Loulou have been desperate to meet up with him since well before xmas, its ridiculous that we are drifting into March and we still haven’t met up for drinks and intense chat about indie music/footy and emotions. There’s also a lovely couple who invited us for a meal and to do some photography and teach us some rope techniques which sounds like an ideal weekend, I just hope they don’t think that we are not interested. Also I’m never ill when the cricket is on, again this is bad timing, if I was ill next week I could have met up with everyone and then drank tea wrapped up as I watched the first test against India. Bah humbug!
On the plus side of being ill, Loulou was ill at the same time so she stayed off with me, we couldn’t really do anything but it was nice to be with her in the week, but even more thrilling than that we both lost quiet a bit of weight! So I’m chuffed to bits!
Right I had better give brief updates and what I have been up to since I last updated. We went to a gay wedding which was great, Loulou went in a corset and lots of leopard print she was amazingly camp and looked spectacular, especially with the hat she was wearing. Surprisingly for a gay wedding I wasn’t hit upon by any of the blokes, usually I always seem to get attention from the men, not totally sure why, I’m cool with it but why don’t I get attention from the women?! That would be much nicer! Lol having said that, one lady turned up that we hadn’t seen in ages, whom is fond of me and Loulou. Last time we met it was just us three in the back bedroom of a house warming party chatting intently and taking class A’s and it was lovely. We had a bit of a shock when we met her again as she had lost so much weight. Anyway when she turned up she was obviously taken by Loulou who as ever was looking ravishing and she then kept complimenting me, which flummoxed me a little, though it was very funny looking back.
Its funny with some people in life that you meet, you just get this bizarre feeling that they are really important to you in some way, and they should be in your life more, its difficult to explain but I felt it really strongly with her and it was on a mental level (it had nothing to do with the fact she had massive breasts!) I hope its something that can be developed upon and we get to see more of her, though things were sullied a little by the fact our coke went missing and Loulou suspects she took it. hmmm
I’m usually the youngest person at these types of parties, as I am a little younger than Loulou and her gang, however this is no longer the case, the young and dashing James, one of the newer people into the fold is a good few years younger than me so I no longer have my uniqueness, which is rather depressing, I’ve realised I’ve lost my special talent, my unique selling point as I’ve aged, but I’ve not got any of the benefits of age such as knowledge or maturity, I’ve messed up! I need another gimmick!
That’s pretty much the only thing we have been up to really, what with being ill and everything. We went to the London munch on Friday night, I always look forward to this and yet every time its shite, the drinks are awful, and the place is far to crowded, it takes ages to move anywhere and more often than not you get trapped by colossally dull people and can’t escape, what makes it all the more frustrating is that Loulou keeps getting poached from me ‘for a girlie chat’ or something which naturally doesn’t include me, (I hate this closed club mentality, blokes never whisk a chap off for a manly conversation) so I’m not even in her company.
I just thank god for the legend that is Stuart who is always top notch company and one of the few people on the scene who are actually worth bothering with, an interesting guy for several reasons, its impossible to be in his company and feel your wasting your evening, he does Stirling work at the munch which is generally over run with terribly odious people, even if a lot of them are technically ‘nice’
He is an amazingly self contained gentleman though with a cast iron persona, you can tell he is a sweetie but that’s it. I wish I was more self contained like him, but that will never happen, despite my secretive nature (he says in a public blog lol) my flaws and vulnerability are visible easily from the outside, I know that I will always be like this, the inability to grow a thicker skin has haunted me in the past but now I’ve come to terms with it, perhaps it will be useful in some way in the future, perhaps it will keep me in check from getting to big for my boots! Or perhaps it will just feed my artwork with insecurity and neediness!
I’ve come to the conclusion that the flat is Hexed. There’s something about it that drains me of resolve, energy and the ability to do absolutely anything. The weekend that’s just been was fab, we went out and about doing stuff on both days, had a great time, was full of happiness and joy, yet when we got back to the flat, it just drained away, we became rudderless and just slouched around going on the net and doing bugger all. I’m sure there’s something in there working against us there. In theory I love staying in and just longing around and messing about, watching films, playing with Loulou. Yet when it comes down to it, the flats so horrid and oppressive, I just cant settle I don’t even want to snuggle up and watch a film, let alone do something that actually takes effort or use my imagination.
To finish the update, Loulou’s booked our holiday for 6 days away in New York in March, which we are really looking forward too! Its very exciting I cant wait, just what we need, I’m looking forward to doing all the art galleries and looking at the art deco buildings, eating far too much and checking out all the historical music and popular culture places where the events happened. I’m also really looking forward to being able to treat myself to a few items, its not often I’m in a position where I can just treat myself so that will be a nice change, plus everything’s cheaper out there so my money will go further! Hurrah, as Alan Partridge would say, ‘Back of the net’