Can't sleep.
"Mirror mirror can you tell..
If they are kneeling in confession
or if they just fell"
I really don't know what to say. Everything is and I am just as sure of everything falling apart. Knowing and not able to say.... K, I am not going to be straight forward just as I am almost never straight forward. I am slightly frustrated at, well a many of things. What I expect in life is what I expect not to work out. *sighs* I am rambling in code of avoiding saying anything in particular. I guess I can say it seems like previous incidents have reoccurring aftershocks and I really can't stand each and every one of them. And its only I that know and see of them. If I knew things would be mostly like how they ended up. I might not have put my self in the position in the first place. But there is where things would have to go as I sortof predict. But That would require a lot of change. And that is at a 50/50 chance of occurrance. *blah blah blah* Im going to shut up because im just saying stuff but at the same time...I am not. Im a shitty friend and a shitty other things and its going to bite me back in the ass sooner or later. You only get what you deal out you know-
-I wish I knew what to do and things would be easier to figure out and not be so complicated. Its easy to do things and find away to fix them. But right now I can't fix them. And I seem to hinder or create further complications. I have gotten my mind finally set on things that don't change, things that I can fall too if other things let me down. But they are things that can only temporarily hold me to; they are not strong enough to last.
For example: Again attempting to resurrect the book I wrote. That seems to be a good idea and I finally feel good about it and am not discouraged. When I was younger, the story of which I am writing was the one I used to think about in my head, a sort of day dream I fell on. Basically Im saying its a comforting get away from reality-
-And that is where it is weak. The sence of reality is strong, discouraging, and remapping constantly. Nothing is certain in reality. And it never goes in a favor as often as a fantasy thought can do. Yes, tragedy does happen in reality, But something greater can come out of such.
Anyways I going to go to bed because I have work...
_-_-_-_-_-_Ryan_-_-_-_-_-_
If they are kneeling in confession
or if they just fell"
I really don't know what to say. Everything is and I am just as sure of everything falling apart. Knowing and not able to say.... K, I am not going to be straight forward just as I am almost never straight forward. I am slightly frustrated at, well a many of things. What I expect in life is what I expect not to work out. *sighs* I am rambling in code of avoiding saying anything in particular. I guess I can say it seems like previous incidents have reoccurring aftershocks and I really can't stand each and every one of them. And its only I that know and see of them. If I knew things would be mostly like how they ended up. I might not have put my self in the position in the first place. But there is where things would have to go as I sortof predict. But That would require a lot of change. And that is at a 50/50 chance of occurrance. *blah blah blah* Im going to shut up because im just saying stuff but at the same time...I am not. Im a shitty friend and a shitty other things and its going to bite me back in the ass sooner or later. You only get what you deal out you know-
-I wish I knew what to do and things would be easier to figure out and not be so complicated. Its easy to do things and find away to fix them. But right now I can't fix them. And I seem to hinder or create further complications. I have gotten my mind finally set on things that don't change, things that I can fall too if other things let me down. But they are things that can only temporarily hold me to; they are not strong enough to last.
For example: Again attempting to resurrect the book I wrote. That seems to be a good idea and I finally feel good about it and am not discouraged. When I was younger, the story of which I am writing was the one I used to think about in my head, a sort of day dream I fell on. Basically Im saying its a comforting get away from reality-
-And that is where it is weak. The sence of reality is strong, discouraging, and remapping constantly. Nothing is certain in reality. And it never goes in a favor as often as a fantasy thought can do. Yes, tragedy does happen in reality, But something greater can come out of such.
Anyways I going to go to bed because I have work...
_-_-_-_-_-_Ryan_-_-_-_-_-_