A post from Laura
(so really it's crossposted in Laura's livejournal.)
"So here is the thought and point I am waffling on. I have this person who I thought I was friends with until she came to visit from 1000 miles away and started dating the ex-roomie who is a crack addict. When we told her, "no! Bad B your dating a crack addict, nothing good can come of this." Here reaction at first was duly noted, now I am going to continue dating the crack addict cause I love him even though I have only known them for a month. So yeah our reaction was this makes no sense and as good friends we kept telling her it made no sense and why was she pursing it especially after the crack addict went to jail and was caught in many lies to her.
Anyway, to make a long story short, she decided we were badgering her and as friends we should only state our opinion once and then support her in whatever decision she made. I however disagreed on what a friend was and continued to persue the subject for a while. Then I let it drop. She however decided we apparently were not friends as the last thing I heard from her was "I am not, not talking to you, I am just really busy with everything i will fill you in later." and then she hasn't talked with me in at least a month and a half.
Now apparently she has broken up with the crack addict due to reasons we told her about all along that she apparently finally couldn't ignore any more. I don't know the details as it was a random post on Myspace that stated this and I only saw if from doing random checks on friends. Anyway, I haven't talked to her since I got that last e-mail from her and since the crack addict threatened us physically if we talked about him or to her again. I took that as a hint since I thought they were still together that we are no longer friends.
Now the part I am waffling on is... If she has woken up and figured out that what we were pushing at all along was the conclusion that the relationship came to, would she then see us as friend or foe? Should I e-mail or send a card or something and feel out this friendship or should I let bygones be bygones and say screw it, she wasn't a very good friend to me why should I bother? I had known this person for 2 years before they hooked up with the crack addict. Should I just say screw it and not care or should they get a second chance and if they throw it in my face, I can at least tell myself I tried?
The soft hearted person in me beleives in second chances, however the spiteful person that is lurking in there as well would feel very satisfied by a huge I told you so. The appathetic yet slightly spiteful part tells me eh why bother they were never worth it anyway. I don't know what I will do, but I almost feel like I should at least say one last thing, you know get the last word in if it is a goodbye and get closure, but I haven't decided if it is worth it yet. I mean as a friend they haven't proven very loyal, however in matters of romance it is common to pick the guy over the friend especially if that friend is one of the few people telling you your being retarded about the situation. I know I would be pissed at that friend for it for a bit, but at the same time I could see that the friend was only watching my back. She couldn't see that. So is it worth it?"
"So here is the thought and point I am waffling on. I have this person who I thought I was friends with until she came to visit from 1000 miles away and started dating the ex-roomie who is a crack addict. When we told her, "no! Bad B your dating a crack addict, nothing good can come of this." Here reaction at first was duly noted, now I am going to continue dating the crack addict cause I love him even though I have only known them for a month. So yeah our reaction was this makes no sense and as good friends we kept telling her it made no sense and why was she pursing it especially after the crack addict went to jail and was caught in many lies to her.
Anyway, to make a long story short, she decided we were badgering her and as friends we should only state our opinion once and then support her in whatever decision she made. I however disagreed on what a friend was and continued to persue the subject for a while. Then I let it drop. She however decided we apparently were not friends as the last thing I heard from her was "I am not, not talking to you, I am just really busy with everything i will fill you in later." and then she hasn't talked with me in at least a month and a half.
Now apparently she has broken up with the crack addict due to reasons we told her about all along that she apparently finally couldn't ignore any more. I don't know the details as it was a random post on Myspace that stated this and I only saw if from doing random checks on friends. Anyway, I haven't talked to her since I got that last e-mail from her and since the crack addict threatened us physically if we talked about him or to her again. I took that as a hint since I thought they were still together that we are no longer friends.
Now the part I am waffling on is... If she has woken up and figured out that what we were pushing at all along was the conclusion that the relationship came to, would she then see us as friend or foe? Should I e-mail or send a card or something and feel out this friendship or should I let bygones be bygones and say screw it, she wasn't a very good friend to me why should I bother? I had known this person for 2 years before they hooked up with the crack addict. Should I just say screw it and not care or should they get a second chance and if they throw it in my face, I can at least tell myself I tried?
The soft hearted person in me beleives in second chances, however the spiteful person that is lurking in there as well would feel very satisfied by a huge I told you so. The appathetic yet slightly spiteful part tells me eh why bother they were never worth it anyway. I don't know what I will do, but I almost feel like I should at least say one last thing, you know get the last word in if it is a goodbye and get closure, but I haven't decided if it is worth it yet. I mean as a friend they haven't proven very loyal, however in matters of romance it is common to pick the guy over the friend especially if that friend is one of the few people telling you your being retarded about the situation. I know I would be pissed at that friend for it for a bit, but at the same time I could see that the friend was only watching my back. She couldn't see that. So is it worth it?"