Sour girl
well the last entry was depressing and that was because i was extremely depressed. i had no job no energy and no food in my stomach!
now its better i have food in my stomach i have plenty of energy only still no job. but i actually cant get a job now as in 3 weeks im going to LA and in 5 weeks im going to Montreal most likely. then in 6 weeks im going to London UK so there isnt much point into looking.
for the past week however i have had so little sleep its surprising im still mobile and still with energy! i get almost 2-4 hours of sleep per night and on a lucky day id get 5 and still dont feel tired. in fact im feeling sooo great right now it may have something to do with a manic depressive cycle or bipolar disorder but hey at least now im happy with energy... unlike last few weeks i was sleeping all the time not eating a crying over everything!
i met a guy here that i got to know and like while he wasnt very goodlooking he made me laugh and thats all i really needed at the time... then one day he didnt call me back and kinda ignored me the whole night on wednesday at our regualr club. i was with one group of friends and he was with another but for some reason we didnt bring both groups together as we normally have every other time we have been out... i can understnad though because all the irish girls expect 1 in the other group seemed to be haters as i was taking one of their men or wateva! so anyway he was ignoring me so i thought id get back at him at accepting to go on a date with this really hot guy that was hitting on me and i did it right in front of him... yeh really dodgy but i was annoied at him...
so i didnt end up going on the date i called it off and then i called Donal (the irish guy i was kinda seeing) and asked him wtf was up and wat did he expect from me. he replied back saying that he just wanted to be friends and he didnt want it to be uncomfortable between us... i was shocked, i mean i am soooo much better than him and he was the one pushing me away??? he doesnt get to do that!!! thats not right hes not goodlooking at all he has no chin wat was he doing rejecting ME!??
i was so annoyed and i couldnt understand it. i just wanted to cuddle up with someone and he was so good at it i wanted him back even though i didnt really actually want him@!
i later found out he wanted to get with this short blond PLAIN JANE girl named Connie who seemed to despise me. it seemed she liked him from the start and told him that she thought it was discusting that he would go for a black girl!!!! 1> the racist bitch thought i was below him and 2> the racist bitch called me black!!! im no where near dark enuf to be called black and black is a characteristic state of mind to which i couldnt claim to posess.
so i was sour at him for liking her and for listening to her and for being kinda ugly and for thinking he was better than me becuz its obvious to all excpet racist bitches and fukn morons) that he so aint!!!
so i decided i gotta let it go and stop being so pissy at him and bitchy about it becuz it would seem i still liked him which i dont!!! i do want to hurt connie though!!!! i want to hurt her alot jsut becuz of her bigotry!@!
I got wasted last night and needed something to fill the void and luckily for me it was royce's farewell as he is going to london in a few days. Royce is my aussie friend from the hostel that i may have mentioned a few posts ago. i decided i was going to have him and thats exactly wat i did and im soooo happy to say it was amazing!!!!! pure hard body rocking! dang he fine! and all mine!! well for the next few days anyway!
im hoping when i get to london he'l give me a place to stay for a few nights.
unlike Donal who i was unsure wether i actually wanted to be with him and i was really thinking on the negeative, but with Royce i just wanted it so bad! and i got wat i wanted!!
SOOOOOO happy right now
oh but freaky thing some random person came into my bedroom this morning to show off my room to a perpective house memeber wehich they can only fo once ive givn permission which i didnt. i was lying half naked on my bed and they just waltz in and looked around... i got up quickly told them to fuk off and they'll b hearing about this! i was still really drunk so i had no clue wat was going on but i was sooooo freaking mad about that invasion of privacy!!!!!!! still really riled up about it!!!
i dont even think it was my room they were supposed to be showing!
now its better i have food in my stomach i have plenty of energy only still no job. but i actually cant get a job now as in 3 weeks im going to LA and in 5 weeks im going to Montreal most likely. then in 6 weeks im going to London UK so there isnt much point into looking.
for the past week however i have had so little sleep its surprising im still mobile and still with energy! i get almost 2-4 hours of sleep per night and on a lucky day id get 5 and still dont feel tired. in fact im feeling sooo great right now it may have something to do with a manic depressive cycle or bipolar disorder but hey at least now im happy with energy... unlike last few weeks i was sleeping all the time not eating a crying over everything!
i met a guy here that i got to know and like while he wasnt very goodlooking he made me laugh and thats all i really needed at the time... then one day he didnt call me back and kinda ignored me the whole night on wednesday at our regualr club. i was with one group of friends and he was with another but for some reason we didnt bring both groups together as we normally have every other time we have been out... i can understnad though because all the irish girls expect 1 in the other group seemed to be haters as i was taking one of their men or wateva! so anyway he was ignoring me so i thought id get back at him at accepting to go on a date with this really hot guy that was hitting on me and i did it right in front of him... yeh really dodgy but i was annoied at him...
so i didnt end up going on the date i called it off and then i called Donal (the irish guy i was kinda seeing) and asked him wtf was up and wat did he expect from me. he replied back saying that he just wanted to be friends and he didnt want it to be uncomfortable between us... i was shocked, i mean i am soooo much better than him and he was the one pushing me away??? he doesnt get to do that!!! thats not right hes not goodlooking at all he has no chin wat was he doing rejecting ME!??
i was so annoyed and i couldnt understand it. i just wanted to cuddle up with someone and he was so good at it i wanted him back even though i didnt really actually want him@!
i later found out he wanted to get with this short blond PLAIN JANE girl named Connie who seemed to despise me. it seemed she liked him from the start and told him that she thought it was discusting that he would go for a black girl!!!! 1> the racist bitch thought i was below him and 2> the racist bitch called me black!!! im no where near dark enuf to be called black and black is a characteristic state of mind to which i couldnt claim to posess.
so i was sour at him for liking her and for listening to her and for being kinda ugly and for thinking he was better than me becuz its obvious to all excpet racist bitches and fukn morons) that he so aint!!!
so i decided i gotta let it go and stop being so pissy at him and bitchy about it becuz it would seem i still liked him which i dont!!! i do want to hurt connie though!!!! i want to hurt her alot jsut becuz of her bigotry!@!
I got wasted last night and needed something to fill the void and luckily for me it was royce's farewell as he is going to london in a few days. Royce is my aussie friend from the hostel that i may have mentioned a few posts ago. i decided i was going to have him and thats exactly wat i did and im soooo happy to say it was amazing!!!!! pure hard body rocking! dang he fine! and all mine!! well for the next few days anyway!
im hoping when i get to london he'l give me a place to stay for a few nights.
unlike Donal who i was unsure wether i actually wanted to be with him and i was really thinking on the negeative, but with Royce i just wanted it so bad! and i got wat i wanted!!
SOOOOOO happy right now
oh but freaky thing some random person came into my bedroom this morning to show off my room to a perpective house memeber wehich they can only fo once ive givn permission which i didnt. i was lying half naked on my bed and they just waltz in and looked around... i got up quickly told them to fuk off and they'll b hearing about this! i was still really drunk so i had no clue wat was going on but i was sooooo freaking mad about that invasion of privacy!!!!!!! still really riled up about it!!!
i dont even think it was my room they were supposed to be showing!