scratching an itch
Trying to post for a while but I went over my allegedly unlimited data and this connection isn't very good.
Barely celebrated my birthday. I used to drink more on a typical Tuesday night than most ppl do between New Years + St Patricks Day combined, so parties are kind of a bore for me now.
Overheard a supervisor applying for a new job. In one of my dreams last night I found a bunch of money in a tote bag. I hope that means she's leaving, so I can apply for that spot and finally get settled.
I had something like a nervous breakdown or psychotic episode last week. I felt crummy at work all day. I can't account for several hours after work. I was *poof!* standing outside a fast food restaurant in a part of town I barely recognized. I could see the distant lights of tall buildings in my neighborhood. It was very dark outside. Phone battery was at 5%. I don't remember calling anyone, but I heard myself asking Sarah if she could come get me. I gave her the cross streets. She picked me up. Correction: She DROVE 20 MINUTES TO PICK ME UP. Once I was safely tucked into her car I stuffed a scarf in my mouth to scream. I cried all the way home. I had been sleep deprived for several weeks. Stress from work keeps me up, sleeping pills make me feel like a robot, caffeine barely helps with the headaches, etc. So I finally reached a breaking point... and kept going. Never again.
I feel better now. I cut back on caffeine. I've been crawling in bed around 9 or 10 since Sunday. Sometimes I wake up at 2 for no fucking reason, but the dogs keep me company until I can close my eyes again.
Taking a few days off work next week to deep-clean the apartment.
Barely celebrated my birthday. I used to drink more on a typical Tuesday night than most ppl do between New Years + St Patricks Day combined, so parties are kind of a bore for me now.
Overheard a supervisor applying for a new job. In one of my dreams last night I found a bunch of money in a tote bag. I hope that means she's leaving, so I can apply for that spot and finally get settled.
I had something like a nervous breakdown or psychotic episode last week. I felt crummy at work all day. I can't account for several hours after work. I was *poof!* standing outside a fast food restaurant in a part of town I barely recognized. I could see the distant lights of tall buildings in my neighborhood. It was very dark outside. Phone battery was at 5%. I don't remember calling anyone, but I heard myself asking Sarah if she could come get me. I gave her the cross streets. She picked me up. Correction: She DROVE 20 MINUTES TO PICK ME UP. Once I was safely tucked into her car I stuffed a scarf in my mouth to scream. I cried all the way home. I had been sleep deprived for several weeks. Stress from work keeps me up, sleeping pills make me feel like a robot, caffeine barely helps with the headaches, etc. So I finally reached a breaking point... and kept going. Never again.
I feel better now. I cut back on caffeine. I've been crawling in bed around 9 or 10 since Sunday. Sometimes I wake up at 2 for no fucking reason, but the dogs keep me company until I can close my eyes again.
Taking a few days off work next week to deep-clean the apartment.