XMMF Fic, Ideology, Ch. 2
Title: Ideology, Chapter 2
Author: Sionnain
Fandom: XMMF
Pairing: Currently, Bobby/Marie. Will eventually be Magneto/Rogue.
Summary: When Rogue begins to question all that she's been taught, things begin to fall apart.
Rating: Suitable for all ages at the moment.
AN: Thanks to Ion_Bond for the fabulous beta job. This fic is dedicated to Srichard and Trommelfeuer.
In this chapter, Rogue deals with the consequences of her honesty.
Chapter 2
Rogue was surprised when they'd called her.
She certainly hadn't expected it, and in fact, had rather regretted her impulsive decision to embrace honesty, or whatever it was she'd done. Besides, Kitty and Jubilee both had only received a few calls from all the applications they'd returned, and neither of them had checked the box as Rogue had.
Kitty had confessed after turning in her job applications that maybe she should have checked yes. "I mean, if something gets stolen and they find about me…"
"No," Jubilee had said sternly, shaking her head. "That's not harmful. Besides, if you get fired, then just stop shopping there. The loss of revenue'll teach 'em a lesson."
Kitty had answered the phone in their room, looking confused for a minute before she'd handed the phone over to her. "It's for you," she whispered unnecessarily.
"Hello?" Rogue gave her roommate a mock glare-she didn't get a lot of phone calls, but that hardly warranted the look of confusion on Kitty's face, did it?
"Yes, is this Marie?"
It took Rogue a minute to figure out the woman wanted her, which must have been what confused her roommate. No one ever called her Marie, but she could hardly fill out the application with Rogue, could she? "Yeah. I mean, yes," she said quickly, wanting to sound professional. "This is she."
"Hi, Marie. This is Devon from Hot Topic Just wondering if you wanted to come in for an interview."
Rogue was so shocked she didn't even notice the slight strain in the woman's voice. "Um…sure," she said, smiling at Kitty. She arranged the date and time and then hung up the phone.
"See!" Kitty crowed, clapping, when Rogue told her. "I knew it! They don't care about that. You were probably the perfect applicant. You know. With the hair and your weird attachment to black eyeliner."
Rogue rolled her eyes. "Right. Then they'll love you at the Limited, Too with all that glitter and purple you wear."
Kitty giggled, unabashed. "I have an interview there on Saturday. Come on, let's go tell Jubes! And Bobby!" She reached out and grabbed Rogue's arm; guided by instinct, Rogue pulled back until she remembered she was wearing a long-sleeved shirt.
They found Bobby in the game room, unsurprisingly playing a video game with Piotr. "Guess what," she said, sitting next to him.
"You got a job interview." Bobby didn't take his eyes away from the screen, reflecting bright colors and flashing lights as his character battled it out with Piotr's.
"Don't let your girlfriend distract you," Piotr crowed, eyes glued to the action, though it was clear he really wouldn't mind.
"She won't. Least, not enough to keep me from winning. And what else could it be?" For some reason his words to Piotr made her a little sad.
She won't.
Yeah. Cause she can't.
"Maybe I won the lottery. Maybe I figured out how to touch people without killin' 'em. Maybe I-" before she could finish, Bobby let out a triumphant yell as his animated character did an overly complicated move to finish off Piotr's, and he turned to her. His blue eyes glittered, his grin was easy and pleased. He was very handsome, Bobby, especially when he smiled.
"I figured it was something real," he teased her, and slapped her lightly on her back, like he used to do to St. John when they played basketball. "But good job, babe. That's great. Piotr, you want to play another round before dinner?"
Rogue stared at him for a moment, her happiness somewhat diminished. Kitty, astute as always, jumped up and tugged at her. "Come on, Rogue. Let's go find Jubilee. She hasn't been called back at all, yet, and I think she snuck in and applied at Hot Topic too when I wasn't there to tell her not to. I mean, her hair's naturally dark."
"Oh, so it's okay for me, but not her?" Rogue said, standing up to follow her out of the room, forcing her voice to sound lighthearted.
"Are you kidding? Jubilee likes hip-hop." Kitty opened the door and gestured for her to follow.
Rogue went to leave, but paused when she thought she felt eyes on her. She turned back, convinced it was Bobby, wondering if maybe he'd wink at her and then she'd feel better.
No one was looking at her.
****
"Thanks a lot for coming in, Marie. I'll hope you'll understand that we're just looking for someone with a little more experience."
Rogue was beginning to think that she could come in to these interviews-she'd had more scheduled than either of her friends-and sit down to answer the questions without her prospective employers even having to ask her anything,
They all ended the same, too. "Thanks, but we need someone with experience. We hope you'll understand."
Except, of course, she didn’t think that was why they declined to hired her. She figured the only reason she was even getting interviews was because they wanted to prove that they weren’t discriminating against her, so they could show anyone that asked that she’d had a fair shot.
This was the last of her scheduled interviews, at Barnes and Noble, where she honestly thought she might be able to get hired. She liked reading, aced the book test (anyone who took literature courses from Professor Xavier would have done the same), and the person who'd called her had sounded the friendliest of all of them.
The other thing Rogue thought was funny was that they all said, "We hope you'll understand," at the end. Oh, I understand. The injustice of it rather infuriated her; maybe they did want someone with more retail experience, but that hadn't stopped either Jubilee or Kitty from snagging jobs at Pac Sun and Abercrombie. So that really couldn't be why they didn't hire her, could it?
"You did do exceptionally well on your book test." Mr. Williams, the manager who was interviewing her, tossed that out like he was trying to find something to placate her with.
Probably was taught that in some managerial class. Let the dangerous mutants down easy, throw them a bone. Lest they kill you.
Rogue might have been able to keep her cool if he hadn't sounded so…surprised about that. "Was it the accent?" She asked sweetly, batting her eyelashes. "Lotsa people think all of us from the South are dumb, 'specially up here in New York." She made her accent thicker, the way Jubilee always did when she tried to mimic Rogue's voice.
Mr. Williams expelled a breath as if he'd expected her to say something different. "Oh, of course not! My wife's family's from the South. Texas," he explained, and Rogue tried not to correct him.
Texas is the southwest, idiot.
"So, yes. Marie, please do come see us again when you've put a few more jobs on that employment form." He stood up and smiled, and reached his hand out to her.
Rogue stared at him for several seconds, ignoring his hand. She laughed. "You mean, when I've not killed anyone by workin' in retail, right?"
She saw the moment the worry registered on his face, saw the fear that he tried to hide. Fear of her, fear of the box she'd checked. "I don't…don't understand," he said slowly, but she knew that he did.
"Look, let's get somethin' straight, okay? You aren't going to hire me, and I'm fine with that. I understand and I'm not gonna go hire a lawyer and sue you. But I want you to tell me it's because of what I checked on the box, the reason why you won't hire me." Rogue found she was shaking in indignation, tears of anger burning in her eyes.
Why couldn't just one of them admit that she wasn't hired because she'd stupidly checked yes on their damned "dangerous mutant" question?
Mr. Williams backed up into his desk, knocking over his little wooden pencil holder and sending pencils scattering from his desk to clatter on the tile floor. He didn't attempt to pick them up. The look on his face made Rogue want to cry even more. "I don't know what you-"
Her laughter sounded far too brittle for someone her age. "Right. Guess I should have known." She turned to leave, sickened by her anger and how afraid he seemed to be of her. "Just…why haven't any of you asked me what it is?"
"What….what do you mean?" His voice was very low, full of nerves. He smelled of cigarette smoke-she gathered he'd go smoke about four in a row when she left and tell everyone about the mutant who'd lost her temper and nearly killed him. Even though all she was about to do was break down and cry in his office.
Rogue turned around slowly, the skirt she'd worn for her interview-borrowed from Jubilee-swishing around her bare legs. She'd been nervous about wearing a skirt because of her powers, but she'd done so anyway. (As Kitty had said, if the interviewer was running his hand up her bare legs, she probably didn't want to work there.) "Why haven't any of you asked me what my power is? You know. The one that made me check the box. You were gonna shake my hand, and you didn't even ask."
Rogue didn't wait for him to reply. She pushed the door open and walked out, arms wrapped herself, feeling like a failure.
I wish I could have done it. Taken my glove off, shook hands with him, and let him see why I had to check the stupid box. Except then I'd have someone else in my head, and I'd get in trouble. Ain't worth it.
She walked through the parking lot towards her roommate's jeep, borrowed for her excursion to the mall, and drove home with the windows down even though it was raining. She drove the car as if she was on auto-pilot, the radio off, listening to the roar of traffic and wishing for a moment she was anyone else in the cars she passed; normal, listening to music, going home where someone could hug her without the danger of her killing them by accident.
Why couldn't they just tell her the truth? That might have been easier, if they could have just admitted it…
She'd admitted it, hadn't she? She was the one with the damned ability, and she'd told them about it when she clearly didn't have to. Why couldn't they just repay her honesty with their own and tell her the truth?
Rogue was so lost in her thoughts, she nearly missed the turn to the Institute. Scowling, she took a hard right and was grateful the car didn't slide on the wet streets and overturn into a ditch. That'd be a great ending to a great day, wouldn't it?
She managed to arrive in her room all in one piece, and she fell on the bed without caring she was all wet. Kitty came in a few minutes later, obviously from dinner, which Rogue had missed because of her interview. She was carrying a plate covered in plastic wrap, ostensibly dinner, with a few extra brownies stacked on top.
"Hey, how was the…" she took a look at Rogue's face and sat the plate down on the dresser. "Not so good, then?"
"Just like the others," Rogue said, staring up at the ceiling. "They hope I understand that they need someone with more experience. And no deadly mutant powers. Except, you know, they only really told me the first part." She couldn't look at Kitty, didn't want to see any hint of sympathy on her friend's face.
"Well, look at the bright side," Kitty said, forcing herself to sound cheerful. "You can sleep in on the weekends." She took Rogue's shoes, which she'd kicked off, and carried them into the bathroom to wash the mud off. "It's not your fault they're so scared, Rogue. They just don't know any better."
"Will they ever?" She remembered when they'd put the glow-in-the-dark stars up on the ceiling, the ones that Rogue had received in her stocking last Christmas. Kitty had made a happy face instead of the constellation pictured on the package.
Kitty didn't answer, and Rogue wasn't sure if that was because she couldn't hear her over the water or because Kitty didn't have an answer that Rogue wanted to hear.
*****
"I'm sorry you're upset," Bobby gently, smoothing her hair back, careful not to let his fingers linger too long on her skin. They were lying on the couch in the game room, Rogue with her head on his lap, enjoying the rare quiet of a Friday night.
Rogue looked up at him, grateful for even the slightest bit of contact, though there was an unpleasant twist in her stomach in reaction to his words. She didn't doubt that he was sorry, but she doubted he really understood.
"Bobby, what if…what if I have to answer that question my whole life? Like on…college applications and stuff?" She nibbled on her lower lip.
"You won't," he assured her. "There's a lot of us mutants, and there's more being born every day. So when we're in power, we can make the decisions."
"Okay, Magneto," she joked weakly, though she gave him a concerned look. "What kinda power you aiming for, there?"
He rolled his eyes at her. "I mean, power in public office and stuff. You know. Policy making."
"Bobby, how're you gonna be an elected official if we mutants can't get jobs?" She gave a small, unpleasant sort of laugh. "Oh, right. Because you don't have to check the box, you might have a better chance at not scarin’ the humans," she said sarcastically.
Bobby sighed. "Rogue, I wouldn't have to, but…look, I could kill someone too, you know."
"Yeah," Rogue snapped, sitting up. "But you'd have to try."
He raked a hand through his hair and she saw the tense set of his shoulders, and felt a little bad that she was vexing him. Rogue knew she probably wasn't the world's most ideal girlfriend, what with the moodiness and the inability to touch thing, but he was a good person and she probably didn't deserve him.
"Have you ever killed anyone? Besides that one time with Logan," he amended quickly. "Have you ever almost killed anybody, Rogue, accident or not?"
"Magneto," she said quietly, remembering the fear and the taste of metal in her mouth, and the intensity in his face as he'd grabbed her.
"Well, that doesn't count. Would have been all right, you know, if that had happened." Bobby muttered, angry. Rogue knew it wasn't just on her behalf-he was still mad about St. John "defecting," and it was easier to blame Magneto than Pyro for what had happened with his parents and his brother.
No one wants to admit their friends capable of destruction.
That thought did not make her feel better.
"Would it?" Rogue stared at him intently. "We're not supposed to kill, are we? I mean, isn't that the rule?"
"He tried to kill you," Bobby said slowly, as if she were being idiotic on purpose, and maybe she was. Rogue didn't like to dwell too much on what had happened on Liberty Island if she could help it.
"I don't want to kill anybody," Rogue snapped, crossing her arms over her chest. "Not even Magneto. But nobody's ever gonna believe me, Bobby. All I'll ever be is dangerous, and that's all anyone is ever gonna see."
"Everyone's dangerous if they want to be, Rogue," Bobby said quietly, his voice sad. "Every human being out there has the capacity to be just as bad as the most dangerous of mutants."
"You sound like the Professor," Rogue muttered, forcing herself to calm down. It was pointless to rant about this to Bobby-it wasn't his fault, and he obviously cared about her, didn't he, despite the deadly ability she possessed?
"Well, it's true. I mean, humans and mutants both, we can be good or evil. We have to choose. Magneto chose to be evil, and we didn't. It doesn't have anything to do with what powers we have or what box we check." He leaned back and put his arms beneath his head, watching her with wary eyes.
"I don't think it's that simple," Rogue said suddenly, but she forced herself to stop talking. There were times, on those occasions she thought about Liberty Island, that she could still remember Magneto's overwhelming certainty that what he was doing was right.
Even when she was screaming for someone to release her, part of her didn't want to let go, didn't want them to stop the machine. She would think about that sometimes and couldn't sleep. It wasn't all that comforting, having a twisted sort of belief in the reasons behind your impending death.
"No," Bobby said vehemently, drawing her out of thoughts of the past, "I think it is."
"Yeah, well, what am I supposed to do, Bobby? Wait around for humanity to realize that? I don't know if you noticed, but my first foray into being honest didn't work out so well." She looked away, at the darkened television screen, seeing her reflection in the slick glass.
"Well, maybe you should try again. Just don't check the box this time." He didn't sound very certain, though, about that idea.
Rogue laughed darkly. "Yeah. Maybe I should." She had no intention of doing that. In fact, she'd be lucky if she ever went to the mall again.
He reached out tentatively, laying a hand on her shoulder. "Rogue, I know you don't want to hurt anyone. I know you're not dangerous. It's just…people are scared of things they don't understand, you know."
Her gloved hand came up to rest lightly on his. "I know that, Bobby," she said quietly. "My problem is that I don't know what to do until they start understanding us, or if they ever will." Maybe she'd talk to Mr. Summers about that, sometime.
He drew her closer to him. "I'm not working this summer, either. I'm helping the Professor with research. You should ask him about it, too. Maybe he needs some more help." That idea did not appeal to her, but she only smiled at him. "Anyway, we'll at least get to spend a lot of time together since we don't have classes." He grinned at her, the wariness having vanished from his face.
"I'll be unemployed, but I'll be good at Soul Caliber 3," Rogue joked, and dropped the subject as he moved to kiss her. She had to concentrate, know when to pull back, so that she didn't hurt him.
They won't even admit it here, that I'm dangerous.
That thought was unpleasant, and she forcibly shoved it to the back of her mind. This wasn't the time or place to think about such things.
Chapter 3
Author: Sionnain
Fandom: XMMF
Pairing: Currently, Bobby/Marie. Will eventually be Magneto/Rogue.
Summary: When Rogue begins to question all that she's been taught, things begin to fall apart.
Rating: Suitable for all ages at the moment.
AN: Thanks to Ion_Bond for the fabulous beta job. This fic is dedicated to Srichard and Trommelfeuer.
In this chapter, Rogue deals with the consequences of her honesty.
Chapter 2
Rogue was surprised when they'd called her.
She certainly hadn't expected it, and in fact, had rather regretted her impulsive decision to embrace honesty, or whatever it was she'd done. Besides, Kitty and Jubilee both had only received a few calls from all the applications they'd returned, and neither of them had checked the box as Rogue had.
Kitty had confessed after turning in her job applications that maybe she should have checked yes. "I mean, if something gets stolen and they find about me…"
"No," Jubilee had said sternly, shaking her head. "That's not harmful. Besides, if you get fired, then just stop shopping there. The loss of revenue'll teach 'em a lesson."
Kitty had answered the phone in their room, looking confused for a minute before she'd handed the phone over to her. "It's for you," she whispered unnecessarily.
"Hello?" Rogue gave her roommate a mock glare-she didn't get a lot of phone calls, but that hardly warranted the look of confusion on Kitty's face, did it?
"Yes, is this Marie?"
It took Rogue a minute to figure out the woman wanted her, which must have been what confused her roommate. No one ever called her Marie, but she could hardly fill out the application with Rogue, could she? "Yeah. I mean, yes," she said quickly, wanting to sound professional. "This is she."
"Hi, Marie. This is Devon from Hot Topic Just wondering if you wanted to come in for an interview."
Rogue was so shocked she didn't even notice the slight strain in the woman's voice. "Um…sure," she said, smiling at Kitty. She arranged the date and time and then hung up the phone.
"See!" Kitty crowed, clapping, when Rogue told her. "I knew it! They don't care about that. You were probably the perfect applicant. You know. With the hair and your weird attachment to black eyeliner."
Rogue rolled her eyes. "Right. Then they'll love you at the Limited, Too with all that glitter and purple you wear."
Kitty giggled, unabashed. "I have an interview there on Saturday. Come on, let's go tell Jubes! And Bobby!" She reached out and grabbed Rogue's arm; guided by instinct, Rogue pulled back until she remembered she was wearing a long-sleeved shirt.
They found Bobby in the game room, unsurprisingly playing a video game with Piotr. "Guess what," she said, sitting next to him.
"You got a job interview." Bobby didn't take his eyes away from the screen, reflecting bright colors and flashing lights as his character battled it out with Piotr's.
"Don't let your girlfriend distract you," Piotr crowed, eyes glued to the action, though it was clear he really wouldn't mind.
"She won't. Least, not enough to keep me from winning. And what else could it be?" For some reason his words to Piotr made her a little sad.
She won't.
Yeah. Cause she can't.
"Maybe I won the lottery. Maybe I figured out how to touch people without killin' 'em. Maybe I-" before she could finish, Bobby let out a triumphant yell as his animated character did an overly complicated move to finish off Piotr's, and he turned to her. His blue eyes glittered, his grin was easy and pleased. He was very handsome, Bobby, especially when he smiled.
"I figured it was something real," he teased her, and slapped her lightly on her back, like he used to do to St. John when they played basketball. "But good job, babe. That's great. Piotr, you want to play another round before dinner?"
Rogue stared at him for a moment, her happiness somewhat diminished. Kitty, astute as always, jumped up and tugged at her. "Come on, Rogue. Let's go find Jubilee. She hasn't been called back at all, yet, and I think she snuck in and applied at Hot Topic too when I wasn't there to tell her not to. I mean, her hair's naturally dark."
"Oh, so it's okay for me, but not her?" Rogue said, standing up to follow her out of the room, forcing her voice to sound lighthearted.
"Are you kidding? Jubilee likes hip-hop." Kitty opened the door and gestured for her to follow.
Rogue went to leave, but paused when she thought she felt eyes on her. She turned back, convinced it was Bobby, wondering if maybe he'd wink at her and then she'd feel better.
No one was looking at her.
****
"Thanks a lot for coming in, Marie. I'll hope you'll understand that we're just looking for someone with a little more experience."
Rogue was beginning to think that she could come in to these interviews-she'd had more scheduled than either of her friends-and sit down to answer the questions without her prospective employers even having to ask her anything,
They all ended the same, too. "Thanks, but we need someone with experience. We hope you'll understand."
Except, of course, she didn’t think that was why they declined to hired her. She figured the only reason she was even getting interviews was because they wanted to prove that they weren’t discriminating against her, so they could show anyone that asked that she’d had a fair shot.
This was the last of her scheduled interviews, at Barnes and Noble, where she honestly thought she might be able to get hired. She liked reading, aced the book test (anyone who took literature courses from Professor Xavier would have done the same), and the person who'd called her had sounded the friendliest of all of them.
The other thing Rogue thought was funny was that they all said, "We hope you'll understand," at the end. Oh, I understand. The injustice of it rather infuriated her; maybe they did want someone with more retail experience, but that hadn't stopped either Jubilee or Kitty from snagging jobs at Pac Sun and Abercrombie. So that really couldn't be why they didn't hire her, could it?
"You did do exceptionally well on your book test." Mr. Williams, the manager who was interviewing her, tossed that out like he was trying to find something to placate her with.
Probably was taught that in some managerial class. Let the dangerous mutants down easy, throw them a bone. Lest they kill you.
Rogue might have been able to keep her cool if he hadn't sounded so…surprised about that. "Was it the accent?" She asked sweetly, batting her eyelashes. "Lotsa people think all of us from the South are dumb, 'specially up here in New York." She made her accent thicker, the way Jubilee always did when she tried to mimic Rogue's voice.
Mr. Williams expelled a breath as if he'd expected her to say something different. "Oh, of course not! My wife's family's from the South. Texas," he explained, and Rogue tried not to correct him.
Texas is the southwest, idiot.
"So, yes. Marie, please do come see us again when you've put a few more jobs on that employment form." He stood up and smiled, and reached his hand out to her.
Rogue stared at him for several seconds, ignoring his hand. She laughed. "You mean, when I've not killed anyone by workin' in retail, right?"
She saw the moment the worry registered on his face, saw the fear that he tried to hide. Fear of her, fear of the box she'd checked. "I don't…don't understand," he said slowly, but she knew that he did.
"Look, let's get somethin' straight, okay? You aren't going to hire me, and I'm fine with that. I understand and I'm not gonna go hire a lawyer and sue you. But I want you to tell me it's because of what I checked on the box, the reason why you won't hire me." Rogue found she was shaking in indignation, tears of anger burning in her eyes.
Why couldn't just one of them admit that she wasn't hired because she'd stupidly checked yes on their damned "dangerous mutant" question?
Mr. Williams backed up into his desk, knocking over his little wooden pencil holder and sending pencils scattering from his desk to clatter on the tile floor. He didn't attempt to pick them up. The look on his face made Rogue want to cry even more. "I don't know what you-"
Her laughter sounded far too brittle for someone her age. "Right. Guess I should have known." She turned to leave, sickened by her anger and how afraid he seemed to be of her. "Just…why haven't any of you asked me what it is?"
"What….what do you mean?" His voice was very low, full of nerves. He smelled of cigarette smoke-she gathered he'd go smoke about four in a row when she left and tell everyone about the mutant who'd lost her temper and nearly killed him. Even though all she was about to do was break down and cry in his office.
Rogue turned around slowly, the skirt she'd worn for her interview-borrowed from Jubilee-swishing around her bare legs. She'd been nervous about wearing a skirt because of her powers, but she'd done so anyway. (As Kitty had said, if the interviewer was running his hand up her bare legs, she probably didn't want to work there.) "Why haven't any of you asked me what my power is? You know. The one that made me check the box. You were gonna shake my hand, and you didn't even ask."
Rogue didn't wait for him to reply. She pushed the door open and walked out, arms wrapped herself, feeling like a failure.
I wish I could have done it. Taken my glove off, shook hands with him, and let him see why I had to check the stupid box. Except then I'd have someone else in my head, and I'd get in trouble. Ain't worth it.
She walked through the parking lot towards her roommate's jeep, borrowed for her excursion to the mall, and drove home with the windows down even though it was raining. She drove the car as if she was on auto-pilot, the radio off, listening to the roar of traffic and wishing for a moment she was anyone else in the cars she passed; normal, listening to music, going home where someone could hug her without the danger of her killing them by accident.
Why couldn't they just tell her the truth? That might have been easier, if they could have just admitted it…
She'd admitted it, hadn't she? She was the one with the damned ability, and she'd told them about it when she clearly didn't have to. Why couldn't they just repay her honesty with their own and tell her the truth?
Rogue was so lost in her thoughts, she nearly missed the turn to the Institute. Scowling, she took a hard right and was grateful the car didn't slide on the wet streets and overturn into a ditch. That'd be a great ending to a great day, wouldn't it?
She managed to arrive in her room all in one piece, and she fell on the bed without caring she was all wet. Kitty came in a few minutes later, obviously from dinner, which Rogue had missed because of her interview. She was carrying a plate covered in plastic wrap, ostensibly dinner, with a few extra brownies stacked on top.
"Hey, how was the…" she took a look at Rogue's face and sat the plate down on the dresser. "Not so good, then?"
"Just like the others," Rogue said, staring up at the ceiling. "They hope I understand that they need someone with more experience. And no deadly mutant powers. Except, you know, they only really told me the first part." She couldn't look at Kitty, didn't want to see any hint of sympathy on her friend's face.
"Well, look at the bright side," Kitty said, forcing herself to sound cheerful. "You can sleep in on the weekends." She took Rogue's shoes, which she'd kicked off, and carried them into the bathroom to wash the mud off. "It's not your fault they're so scared, Rogue. They just don't know any better."
"Will they ever?" She remembered when they'd put the glow-in-the-dark stars up on the ceiling, the ones that Rogue had received in her stocking last Christmas. Kitty had made a happy face instead of the constellation pictured on the package.
Kitty didn't answer, and Rogue wasn't sure if that was because she couldn't hear her over the water or because Kitty didn't have an answer that Rogue wanted to hear.
*****
"I'm sorry you're upset," Bobby gently, smoothing her hair back, careful not to let his fingers linger too long on her skin. They were lying on the couch in the game room, Rogue with her head on his lap, enjoying the rare quiet of a Friday night.
Rogue looked up at him, grateful for even the slightest bit of contact, though there was an unpleasant twist in her stomach in reaction to his words. She didn't doubt that he was sorry, but she doubted he really understood.
"Bobby, what if…what if I have to answer that question my whole life? Like on…college applications and stuff?" She nibbled on her lower lip.
"You won't," he assured her. "There's a lot of us mutants, and there's more being born every day. So when we're in power, we can make the decisions."
"Okay, Magneto," she joked weakly, though she gave him a concerned look. "What kinda power you aiming for, there?"
He rolled his eyes at her. "I mean, power in public office and stuff. You know. Policy making."
"Bobby, how're you gonna be an elected official if we mutants can't get jobs?" She gave a small, unpleasant sort of laugh. "Oh, right. Because you don't have to check the box, you might have a better chance at not scarin’ the humans," she said sarcastically.
Bobby sighed. "Rogue, I wouldn't have to, but…look, I could kill someone too, you know."
"Yeah," Rogue snapped, sitting up. "But you'd have to try."
He raked a hand through his hair and she saw the tense set of his shoulders, and felt a little bad that she was vexing him. Rogue knew she probably wasn't the world's most ideal girlfriend, what with the moodiness and the inability to touch thing, but he was a good person and she probably didn't deserve him.
"Have you ever killed anyone? Besides that one time with Logan," he amended quickly. "Have you ever almost killed anybody, Rogue, accident or not?"
"Magneto," she said quietly, remembering the fear and the taste of metal in her mouth, and the intensity in his face as he'd grabbed her.
"Well, that doesn't count. Would have been all right, you know, if that had happened." Bobby muttered, angry. Rogue knew it wasn't just on her behalf-he was still mad about St. John "defecting," and it was easier to blame Magneto than Pyro for what had happened with his parents and his brother.
No one wants to admit their friends capable of destruction.
That thought did not make her feel better.
"Would it?" Rogue stared at him intently. "We're not supposed to kill, are we? I mean, isn't that the rule?"
"He tried to kill you," Bobby said slowly, as if she were being idiotic on purpose, and maybe she was. Rogue didn't like to dwell too much on what had happened on Liberty Island if she could help it.
"I don't want to kill anybody," Rogue snapped, crossing her arms over her chest. "Not even Magneto. But nobody's ever gonna believe me, Bobby. All I'll ever be is dangerous, and that's all anyone is ever gonna see."
"Everyone's dangerous if they want to be, Rogue," Bobby said quietly, his voice sad. "Every human being out there has the capacity to be just as bad as the most dangerous of mutants."
"You sound like the Professor," Rogue muttered, forcing herself to calm down. It was pointless to rant about this to Bobby-it wasn't his fault, and he obviously cared about her, didn't he, despite the deadly ability she possessed?
"Well, it's true. I mean, humans and mutants both, we can be good or evil. We have to choose. Magneto chose to be evil, and we didn't. It doesn't have anything to do with what powers we have or what box we check." He leaned back and put his arms beneath his head, watching her with wary eyes.
"I don't think it's that simple," Rogue said suddenly, but she forced herself to stop talking. There were times, on those occasions she thought about Liberty Island, that she could still remember Magneto's overwhelming certainty that what he was doing was right.
Even when she was screaming for someone to release her, part of her didn't want to let go, didn't want them to stop the machine. She would think about that sometimes and couldn't sleep. It wasn't all that comforting, having a twisted sort of belief in the reasons behind your impending death.
"No," Bobby said vehemently, drawing her out of thoughts of the past, "I think it is."
"Yeah, well, what am I supposed to do, Bobby? Wait around for humanity to realize that? I don't know if you noticed, but my first foray into being honest didn't work out so well." She looked away, at the darkened television screen, seeing her reflection in the slick glass.
"Well, maybe you should try again. Just don't check the box this time." He didn't sound very certain, though, about that idea.
Rogue laughed darkly. "Yeah. Maybe I should." She had no intention of doing that. In fact, she'd be lucky if she ever went to the mall again.
He reached out tentatively, laying a hand on her shoulder. "Rogue, I know you don't want to hurt anyone. I know you're not dangerous. It's just…people are scared of things they don't understand, you know."
Her gloved hand came up to rest lightly on his. "I know that, Bobby," she said quietly. "My problem is that I don't know what to do until they start understanding us, or if they ever will." Maybe she'd talk to Mr. Summers about that, sometime.
He drew her closer to him. "I'm not working this summer, either. I'm helping the Professor with research. You should ask him about it, too. Maybe he needs some more help." That idea did not appeal to her, but she only smiled at him. "Anyway, we'll at least get to spend a lot of time together since we don't have classes." He grinned at her, the wariness having vanished from his face.
"I'll be unemployed, but I'll be good at Soul Caliber 3," Rogue joked, and dropped the subject as he moved to kiss her. She had to concentrate, know when to pull back, so that she didn't hurt him.
They won't even admit it here, that I'm dangerous.
That thought was unpleasant, and she forcibly shoved it to the back of her mind. This wasn't the time or place to think about such things.
Chapter 3