Sick report; brain dump.
This cold is stubborn. There's been a couple days now where I think it's on its way out, but I can still feel the congestion in my chest. More chicken soup and orange juice, I guess? Today I am going to take it easy except for finishing up paper figures.
I've had some trouble focusing. I just finished a short story called Lesser Demons (from the 2011 "Year's Best Dark Fantasy and Horror" collection) because I wanted something small and manageable. It was pretty good. True to the title it had some super-gross demons and a theme of not overthinking things.
We watched Lawless last night. It was .. a weird movie. Great visuals, good soundtrack, mostly good acting, but it was just sort of a series of events happening. It didn't really tie together in a coherent way. But I wasn't bored watching it, either. Shia LaBoef's southern accent is not very good, though.
Overthinking is something I'm very good at. It's kind of a running pattern in my previous New Year's Eve resolutions. (By the way, checking those and seeing which ones are the same, year after year, is a fantastic way to make yourself feel crappy.)
Like, I really think most people just sit down and find something distracting to watch or read to let off steam. But my first impulse is to think, "Well I feel like reading fantasy but should it be medieval fantasy or steampunk stuff or horror-themed or new weird?" And then, especially lately, when reading I have the nagging feeling that I picked the wrong one and, really, I'd be enjoying myself much more if I was reading/playing something else.
It's also a weird consequence of comfort zones. I have read and thought about fantasy and Lovecraftian horror and stuff like that for a long time now! But it can still surprise me, which is cool. Except when I'm in the mood for something familiar (which is less often than I think).
Like, when I started running CoC it was because I wanted to do something new! and different! and because I didn't have all the books that my friends did for D&D, but I could still keep track of everything in the one Call of Cthulhu book. Unfortunately I've tried to keep doing that over and over, finding new books and reinventing things even when it's not really necessary. So now I've done so many modern fantasy games that traditional fantasy is actually outside of my comfort zone to run. Also, when I say "I am going to run a fantasy game" I end up back at that branching decision point: what kind of fantasy?
Or I say, let's stick with a modern horror type aesthetic, but then should it be Lovecraftian horror or Hellboy style pulp or everything-is-true World of Darkness style, or - argh. And then I am stuck again.
This is the sort of thing I mean, when I say I am spinning my wheels. This is the kind of thing that I am trying to exorcise so I can simply write, draw, or otherwise do.
I've had some trouble focusing. I just finished a short story called Lesser Demons (from the 2011 "Year's Best Dark Fantasy and Horror" collection) because I wanted something small and manageable. It was pretty good. True to the title it had some super-gross demons and a theme of not overthinking things.
We watched Lawless last night. It was .. a weird movie. Great visuals, good soundtrack, mostly good acting, but it was just sort of a series of events happening. It didn't really tie together in a coherent way. But I wasn't bored watching it, either. Shia LaBoef's southern accent is not very good, though.
Overthinking is something I'm very good at. It's kind of a running pattern in my previous New Year's Eve resolutions. (By the way, checking those and seeing which ones are the same, year after year, is a fantastic way to make yourself feel crappy.)
Like, I really think most people just sit down and find something distracting to watch or read to let off steam. But my first impulse is to think, "Well I feel like reading fantasy but should it be medieval fantasy or steampunk stuff or horror-themed or new weird?" And then, especially lately, when reading I have the nagging feeling that I picked the wrong one and, really, I'd be enjoying myself much more if I was reading/playing something else.
It's also a weird consequence of comfort zones. I have read and thought about fantasy and Lovecraftian horror and stuff like that for a long time now! But it can still surprise me, which is cool. Except when I'm in the mood for something familiar (which is less often than I think).
Like, when I started running CoC it was because I wanted to do something new! and different! and because I didn't have all the books that my friends did for D&D, but I could still keep track of everything in the one Call of Cthulhu book. Unfortunately I've tried to keep doing that over and over, finding new books and reinventing things even when it's not really necessary. So now I've done so many modern fantasy games that traditional fantasy is actually outside of my comfort zone to run. Also, when I say "I am going to run a fantasy game" I end up back at that branching decision point: what kind of fantasy?
Or I say, let's stick with a modern horror type aesthetic, but then should it be Lovecraftian horror or Hellboy style pulp or everything-is-true World of Darkness style, or - argh. And then I am stuck again.
This is the sort of thing I mean, when I say I am spinning my wheels. This is the kind of thing that I am trying to exorcise so I can simply write, draw, or otherwise do.