Random Moments....
Christ, im gunna end up the mad fat bastard living here for the next two weeks. Ive had Roast Lamb, Toad in The Hole, Mince n Tatties, Beef Pie, Pizza with Tatty Fritters and a shitload of Ice Cream, Apple Crumble with Custard and Rice Pudding. GET IN MA BELLEH!
I can sense myself getting over Edinburgh already after just one week. Place is two small. I noted that Sydney has a population almost 12 times the size, which brought things into perspective...
Anyways...
SEOUL.
Being so gleeful at being in a foreign city that i nearly got run over by a Daewoo bus cos i forgot about cars being on the opposite side of the road.
Standing, waiting at a street crossing and an elderly Korean woman running up to me, fanning herself madly in the heat, shouting 'Wooow, yoo so tall, me so sorrrt!' at me with a big smile on her face.
Showering while straddling the toilet bowl in the rather cramped hostel bathroom.
LONDON.
Bouncing on an Olympic sized trampoline while eating my breakfast in Loops Kitchen.
Dsankt and QX catching the eyes of a smorgasboard of young ladies on the Tube with their huge Jock Ups on our way to the party down the Tyburn
User Scott and Dsankt throwing a dead Mackeral at each other in the streets of a posh London neighbourhood.
User Scott n Snappel saying 'Seeyas Liter' to everyone and Scott repeatedly using phrases like 'D'ya wanna see me knob?', 'Show us yer Milkers', 'Id park ma bike in that' and 'Christ on a Bicycle' in normal conversation.
PARIS:
Throwing a tanty cossa my jetlag finally catching up with me, tearing my trowsers, throwing a bigger tanty and ripping the trowsers from heel to crotch, then going in a huff until i was tricked into exploring abandoned subway tunnels by being told i was gunna get a kebab.
Spending hours trying to get Snappel to say 'Seeyas Liter'.
Sharing a bed with Qx n stealing his covers, only to wake up, realise id stolen them, at which point i gave them back, them apparently stole them again as soon as i fell asleep.
KIEV:
Falling through our beds then getting blamed for it by the hostel owner, who'd clearly stolen them from an orphanage.
Solncasvet showing us the acid storage area of an abandoned chemical works and saying in the proceeds 'Theese is were they keep the, how you say, um, Hevvve Khemikles'
Getting drunk, walking around the city streets, with bottle of Vodka in one hand and a bottle of Fanta in the other making toasts about 'I Love Collectors'(and its Ukrainian equivelent) and 'Big Drayyyynees' with Kiev's Diggers.
Seeing Dsankt, Flame and Qx, looking like retarded Oompa Loopmas in their Chemical Protection pants.
Absent mindedly playing with two wires protruding from Nitchzes super torch (which he'd so kindly len to me) and getting a mad electrical burn.
Dsankt and QX offending most everyone with theyre obsession with 'Salsa Snack' and their own endeavours to make 'Skull Fucking video' using one of the complete skulls theyd found under Paris.
Doing what has to be one of the best drains in the world, beneath central Kiev, emerging in Independance Square, BUT FORGETTING TO TAKE AN EXTRA ROLL OF FILM with me :Z
MOSCOW:
Arriving at Domedovo Airport to find Moscowhite waiting, holding aloft a sign that read 'Welcome Drainers!'.
DS n QX becoming disgustingly patriotic while watching Australian Steve Hooker win his Pole Vault heats, gushing about his sexy golden hair and wondering whether he used curling tongs.
Exploring an abandoned Soviet built Particle Collider.
My fortdaily reconnaissance, fact swapping, correspondance meetings with Quantum X, dedicated to figuring out what exactly was going on between Dsankt and Flame ;D
SkiFi's underage girlfriend antics ;D
Getting exceptionally drunk from all the toasts that were made over the course of he week.
Smoking a hookah under Moscow State University. And those crazy arsed salted cucumbers.
Paying the equivelent of $10 for a 20 minute pirate taxi ride n being told we were getting ripped off.
Carrying wads of money around in my pockets, most of the notes which had the number 1000 on them. Makes ya feel rich even when yer not.
BUCHAREST:
Helping a motorcyclist pull his bike out of a large pothole he'd fallen sideways into upon pulling up to a stop light.
Finding that Romania, like Australia, also has plastic money.
BUDAPEST:
Finding myself in a dorm room with 11 women, none of whom seemed to happy to have a male in their midst.
Getting revenge the next day by looking at all the bra sizes listed on all the labels of all the bra's theyd left strewn around the room.
Being somewhat awestruck to discover the girl sleeping below me, despite being a small, slender thing, was actually packing a pair of 32DD's.
Getting drunk and climbing a bridge bfore realising i was too drunk to climb back down.
VIENNA:
Puking up into the same toilet bowl i had momentarily before just shot a lower intestine load of assmilk into.
PRAGUE:
Getting lifted by Militia for tresspassing in a closed park... when in reality id just been down a drain there.
Getting a free ride across the river from a gorgeous young, huge breasted girl, whose cans where only matched in size by the ballsack on her Pit Bull Terrier, whose name, in Czech, was 'Knasher'.
ROME:
Winning two drinking games, getting cocky then getting slaughtered in the third.
Snogging an Irish girl until the barman threw a plastic cup at our heads n told us to get a room.
Two words: 'IRISH MIST'
ZURICH:
Learning, kinda, how to count to 15 in German from watching soft porn on the telly in my hotel room.
Being blown away at how clear the lake and river water was.
BERLIN:
Sampling Clives master collection of homemade Sloegins, Pastis's, Raspberry Vodkas and wormwood liquors.
Julias cooking, which every night, without fail, was to die for.
Running into naked people at the Berlin Erection.
Cycling out to Teufelberg and having to carry a large rock in my pocket on the way home with which to periodically beat the shit out of my bicycle crank to get it to stay on.
Catching up on Ritterrollo, Freeones, Bigboobsalert and Mybigtitsbabes.com after a near 2 month drought.
Getting used to using those creepy German 'stool inspection pan' toilet bowls
COPENHAGEN:
Driverless subway trains!
Catching up with Agneta and discovering she feels the same way i do.
AMSTERDAM:
The comfiest hostel beds ive ever slept on.
Finding a 10 gram bag of weed in the hostel dorm bin.
Finding a pair of sewage storage tanks to climb.
BRUSSELS:
The Redlight District with its 900m of fake tits, flawless skin, pearly smiles, tiny outfits and overwhelming stench of pee.
Being utterly mesmirised by the Dexia Tower Light display.
The wind nearly blowing me off the top of the highest Blast Furnace at the Clabecq Foundry.
LUXEMBOURG:
Spending over n hour trying to get into Central Thermique, only to realise it was utterly obvious.
PARIS:
Dirges Pon Farr and Orfisface and i endeavouring as only mere mles could to try and help her.
Seeing Hatchet Hardcore all back to normal and not like a drug fucked hippy.
French people.
Realising that despite living in stayed in 13 hostels and 5 friends houses for 2 months, i never missed a daily wank :D
I can sense myself getting over Edinburgh already after just one week. Place is two small. I noted that Sydney has a population almost 12 times the size, which brought things into perspective...
Anyways...
SEOUL.
Being so gleeful at being in a foreign city that i nearly got run over by a Daewoo bus cos i forgot about cars being on the opposite side of the road.
Standing, waiting at a street crossing and an elderly Korean woman running up to me, fanning herself madly in the heat, shouting 'Wooow, yoo so tall, me so sorrrt!' at me with a big smile on her face.
Showering while straddling the toilet bowl in the rather cramped hostel bathroom.
LONDON.
Bouncing on an Olympic sized trampoline while eating my breakfast in Loops Kitchen.
Dsankt and QX catching the eyes of a smorgasboard of young ladies on the Tube with their huge Jock Ups on our way to the party down the Tyburn
User Scott and Dsankt throwing a dead Mackeral at each other in the streets of a posh London neighbourhood.
User Scott n Snappel saying 'Seeyas Liter' to everyone and Scott repeatedly using phrases like 'D'ya wanna see me knob?', 'Show us yer Milkers', 'Id park ma bike in that' and 'Christ on a Bicycle' in normal conversation.
PARIS:
Throwing a tanty cossa my jetlag finally catching up with me, tearing my trowsers, throwing a bigger tanty and ripping the trowsers from heel to crotch, then going in a huff until i was tricked into exploring abandoned subway tunnels by being told i was gunna get a kebab.
Spending hours trying to get Snappel to say 'Seeyas Liter'.
Sharing a bed with Qx n stealing his covers, only to wake up, realise id stolen them, at which point i gave them back, them apparently stole them again as soon as i fell asleep.
KIEV:
Falling through our beds then getting blamed for it by the hostel owner, who'd clearly stolen them from an orphanage.
Solncasvet showing us the acid storage area of an abandoned chemical works and saying in the proceeds 'Theese is were they keep the, how you say, um, Hevvve Khemikles'
Getting drunk, walking around the city streets, with bottle of Vodka in one hand and a bottle of Fanta in the other making toasts about 'I Love Collectors'(and its Ukrainian equivelent) and 'Big Drayyyynees' with Kiev's Diggers.
Seeing Dsankt, Flame and Qx, looking like retarded Oompa Loopmas in their Chemical Protection pants.
Absent mindedly playing with two wires protruding from Nitchzes super torch (which he'd so kindly len to me) and getting a mad electrical burn.
Dsankt and QX offending most everyone with theyre obsession with 'Salsa Snack' and their own endeavours to make 'Skull Fucking video' using one of the complete skulls theyd found under Paris.
Doing what has to be one of the best drains in the world, beneath central Kiev, emerging in Independance Square, BUT FORGETTING TO TAKE AN EXTRA ROLL OF FILM with me :Z
MOSCOW:
Arriving at Domedovo Airport to find Moscowhite waiting, holding aloft a sign that read 'Welcome Drainers!'.
DS n QX becoming disgustingly patriotic while watching Australian Steve Hooker win his Pole Vault heats, gushing about his sexy golden hair and wondering whether he used curling tongs.
Exploring an abandoned Soviet built Particle Collider.
My fortdaily reconnaissance, fact swapping, correspondance meetings with Quantum X, dedicated to figuring out what exactly was going on between Dsankt and Flame ;D
SkiFi's underage girlfriend antics ;D
Getting exceptionally drunk from all the toasts that were made over the course of he week.
Smoking a hookah under Moscow State University. And those crazy arsed salted cucumbers.
Paying the equivelent of $10 for a 20 minute pirate taxi ride n being told we were getting ripped off.
Carrying wads of money around in my pockets, most of the notes which had the number 1000 on them. Makes ya feel rich even when yer not.
BUCHAREST:
Helping a motorcyclist pull his bike out of a large pothole he'd fallen sideways into upon pulling up to a stop light.
Finding that Romania, like Australia, also has plastic money.
BUDAPEST:
Finding myself in a dorm room with 11 women, none of whom seemed to happy to have a male in their midst.
Getting revenge the next day by looking at all the bra sizes listed on all the labels of all the bra's theyd left strewn around the room.
Being somewhat awestruck to discover the girl sleeping below me, despite being a small, slender thing, was actually packing a pair of 32DD's.
Getting drunk and climbing a bridge bfore realising i was too drunk to climb back down.
VIENNA:
Puking up into the same toilet bowl i had momentarily before just shot a lower intestine load of assmilk into.
PRAGUE:
Getting lifted by Militia for tresspassing in a closed park... when in reality id just been down a drain there.
Getting a free ride across the river from a gorgeous young, huge breasted girl, whose cans where only matched in size by the ballsack on her Pit Bull Terrier, whose name, in Czech, was 'Knasher'.
ROME:
Winning two drinking games, getting cocky then getting slaughtered in the third.
Snogging an Irish girl until the barman threw a plastic cup at our heads n told us to get a room.
Two words: 'IRISH MIST'
ZURICH:
Learning, kinda, how to count to 15 in German from watching soft porn on the telly in my hotel room.
Being blown away at how clear the lake and river water was.
BERLIN:
Sampling Clives master collection of homemade Sloegins, Pastis's, Raspberry Vodkas and wormwood liquors.
Julias cooking, which every night, without fail, was to die for.
Running into naked people at the Berlin Erection.
Cycling out to Teufelberg and having to carry a large rock in my pocket on the way home with which to periodically beat the shit out of my bicycle crank to get it to stay on.
Catching up on Ritterrollo, Freeones, Bigboobsalert and Mybigtitsbabes.com after a near 2 month drought.
Getting used to using those creepy German 'stool inspection pan' toilet bowls
COPENHAGEN:
Driverless subway trains!
Catching up with Agneta and discovering she feels the same way i do.
AMSTERDAM:
The comfiest hostel beds ive ever slept on.
Finding a 10 gram bag of weed in the hostel dorm bin.
Finding a pair of sewage storage tanks to climb.
BRUSSELS:
The Redlight District with its 900m of fake tits, flawless skin, pearly smiles, tiny outfits and overwhelming stench of pee.
Being utterly mesmirised by the Dexia Tower Light display.
The wind nearly blowing me off the top of the highest Blast Furnace at the Clabecq Foundry.
LUXEMBOURG:
Spending over n hour trying to get into Central Thermique, only to realise it was utterly obvious.
PARIS:
Dirges Pon Farr and Orfisface and i endeavouring as only mere mles could to try and help her.
Seeing Hatchet Hardcore all back to normal and not like a drug fucked hippy.
French people.
Realising that despite living in stayed in 13 hostels and 5 friends houses for 2 months, i never missed a daily wank :D