The Burrah.
Arriving in Edinburgh is always kinda cathartic for me... Its a place i love, but always end up getting sick of. Kinda like chocolates or MDMA, you get the cravings then need to give yourself a wee break after a binge.
When i was a child, growing up in Grantown on Spey, a rathole of a town in the Northern Highlands, Edinburgh was this huge magical city, ever present at Christmas time and summer holidays, always transient but forever welcoming.
These days, well, its a wee bit fuckin small, eh pal... Barely 14 pages on the street directory... More like an overgrown village chock full of purple double ducker busses, the Scottish parliament (pffft!), crap weather, entire neighborhoods of fuckin schemies (15 of which im sharing this net cafe with right at the moment... scuse me (turns away and yells: SHUT THE FUCK UP YA FUCKIN WEE INGRATE, INBRED, FUCKIN REPROBATE BASTARDS!!!)), not to mention the entire contents of my extended maternal family, the figureheads of which im staying with the now.
Its great to see ma Granny n Grandad. At 78 years a piece theyre not doing too bad given my age of 28. Most ppl i know havnae got grandparents at that age. N at 28 im old enough not to be a turd to them n make them fret by wafflin on about all the dodgy shit ive got planned. Instead i just get their car serviced, do lotsa work round the garden and help with breakfast lunch n dinner.
Dodgy shit is planned however, never fear lol, n theres you thinkin i was gunnae sit roond her n dae fuck all, eh no. The Forth Rail Bridge needs climbing (oh yes the fuck please!), Scotland Street tunnel must be open finally, theres been a drain found under central Glasgow, n then theres the big fuck off decommissioned power station in Inverkip near Greenock.
Meantime, its nice to be back in the land of Irn Bru and Pickled Onion Crisps, where its always raining n yeah need a dictionary to understand the English being spoken... I went to Ascension, Edinburgh's premier Industrial Electro club. Admittedly i was loaded on 4 shots of scotch n 3 shots of Gin before i left the house, but by God did i have some fun. Such an excellent club, great atmosphere, lights, lasers n top quality sound. They play shit you'd never expect to hear (Wumpscut, Die Krupps, Front 242, Nitzer Ebb) and then people fucking pound the floor to it like it was NIN, Vnv Nation or The Prodigy getting played at a Sydney club. I was congratulated for my dance floor enthusiasm no less and invited to another night next Saturday... quality!
But most nights im home, keepin the oldies company, as the nights grow darker early n the cold sets in. UK Telly is so fuckin barry. The Boosh on replay, 2 Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps and the new busty (comedic) Goddess of British telly... phoar... Karen Taylor.
When i was a child, growing up in Grantown on Spey, a rathole of a town in the Northern Highlands, Edinburgh was this huge magical city, ever present at Christmas time and summer holidays, always transient but forever welcoming.
These days, well, its a wee bit fuckin small, eh pal... Barely 14 pages on the street directory... More like an overgrown village chock full of purple double ducker busses, the Scottish parliament (pffft!), crap weather, entire neighborhoods of fuckin schemies (15 of which im sharing this net cafe with right at the moment... scuse me (turns away and yells: SHUT THE FUCK UP YA FUCKIN WEE INGRATE, INBRED, FUCKIN REPROBATE BASTARDS!!!)), not to mention the entire contents of my extended maternal family, the figureheads of which im staying with the now.
Its great to see ma Granny n Grandad. At 78 years a piece theyre not doing too bad given my age of 28. Most ppl i know havnae got grandparents at that age. N at 28 im old enough not to be a turd to them n make them fret by wafflin on about all the dodgy shit ive got planned. Instead i just get their car serviced, do lotsa work round the garden and help with breakfast lunch n dinner.
Dodgy shit is planned however, never fear lol, n theres you thinkin i was gunnae sit roond her n dae fuck all, eh no. The Forth Rail Bridge needs climbing (oh yes the fuck please!), Scotland Street tunnel must be open finally, theres been a drain found under central Glasgow, n then theres the big fuck off decommissioned power station in Inverkip near Greenock.
Meantime, its nice to be back in the land of Irn Bru and Pickled Onion Crisps, where its always raining n yeah need a dictionary to understand the English being spoken... I went to Ascension, Edinburgh's premier Industrial Electro club. Admittedly i was loaded on 4 shots of scotch n 3 shots of Gin before i left the house, but by God did i have some fun. Such an excellent club, great atmosphere, lights, lasers n top quality sound. They play shit you'd never expect to hear (Wumpscut, Die Krupps, Front 242, Nitzer Ebb) and then people fucking pound the floor to it like it was NIN, Vnv Nation or The Prodigy getting played at a Sydney club. I was congratulated for my dance floor enthusiasm no less and invited to another night next Saturday... quality!
But most nights im home, keepin the oldies company, as the nights grow darker early n the cold sets in. UK Telly is so fuckin barry. The Boosh on replay, 2 Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps and the new busty (comedic) Goddess of British telly... phoar... Karen Taylor.
